Their Brain Is Not Fully Charged

, , , , | Right | September 16, 2017

Customer: “I think my phone is broken.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, and I’d love to assist you. Can you describe the issue?”

Customer: “People say that they’ve called me, but my phone never rings.”

Me: “Do you have your phone with you? May I see it?”

(The customer hands over his phone. It is immediately apparent what the problem is.)

Me: “Sir, it appears that your phone is off, and the battery is completely dead.”

Customer: “I need to charge my phone?”

Me: “Yes, sir, that’s it.”

Customer: “I thought I only needed to do that if I wanted to make calls.”

Me: “No, your phone will need to be charged in order to use it for anything.”

Customer: “Are you sure about that?”

Me: “Yes, I’m completely sure.”

Customer: “Because I thought you only needed to charge it if you were making calls.”

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Not So Hot On The Hotspot

, , , | Right | June 27, 2017

(I work in chat. The customer says that her hotspot isn’t working. She cannot connect her phone to it but the laptop will.)

Customer: “My phone is unable to connect to its [Hotspot On Device]. My laptop does and so do other devices.”

Me: “You want to connect the hotspot on your phone to that same phone. Is that correct?”

Customer: “Yes, I want to connect the hotspot to my [Cellphone] but it doesn’t seem to work.”

Me: “You cannot do that.”

Customer: “They didn’t tell me that when I added it.”

Me: “I do apologize, but you cannot connect that hotspot to the device that is on. It would be using its own data.”

Customer: “So when I don’t have service in a area, I can’t connect my phone to the hotspot? It’s weird because when I added it, it connected to my [Cellphone].”

Me: “No, you cannot. You have to use an external hotspot if you are in an area with no service.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. It’s weird because one of my friends had a [Different Cellphone Model] and I didn’t have a working phone so I used it as a wifi hotspot.”

Me: “Again, that was an external source. Your phone cannot connect to itself. Your regular service and your devices data work on the same network. If one does not have data, the other will not either.”

Customer: “I never knew it was like that. So my personal opinion is ‘who would pay $50.00 for someone to use your hotspot?’.”

Me: “The hotspot is so other devices can connect to your data.”

Customer: “Why?”

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The Answer Is Always 42

, , , , | Working | June 25, 2017

(A little bit of backstory: I receive a phone from my parents for Christmas one year. As part of the gift, they agree to pay the contract for the first two years (the length of the contract), at which point it will be transferred to me. However, I go away to university in this time, so we set up with the company that I have the authorisation to speak on behalf of my father in case there are any issues while I am away from home.)

Me: “Hi, I’m having a problem with my account. It’s under [Father], but I should be on your system as having authorisation to speak on his behalf? My name is [My Name].”

Customer Service Rep: “Okay, yes, I see, ma’am. That is absolutely fine. We will require the answer to the account holder’s security question in order to continue, though.”

(I know the answers that my father would give to most standard security questions; however, since the account was set up in my absence, I don’t know which question he set.)

Me: “Okay, that should be fine. Can you tell me what the question is?”

Customer Service Rep: “No.”

Me: “…why not?”

Customer Service Rep: “You are not the account holder.”

Me: “But I have the authority to speak in his stead. You’ve already said that your system acknowledges that.”

Customer Service Rep: “I cannot divulge that information.”

Me: “But… look, it’s not as if I’m asking for a hint, or for you to tell me the answer. I’m asking for the question. That information is useless without the answer.”

Customer Service Rep: “I can’t tell you.”

Me: *giving up* “I’ll get in touch with my father and call you back.”

(He couldn’t remember which question he’d used either. Luckily, my mother could.)

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A Model Racist

, , , , | Right | June 19, 2017

(My mother, my sister, and I are at a store to upgrade my phone. A lady in her 30s and what I assume is her mother walk in and ask to see a model for the new IPhone 6. Worker #1, who is a black man in is 20s, is told by Worker #2 that since they already have a model out, he can’t bring out a second one. Worker #1 tells the woman that he cannot show her the model at this time, and she and her mother go and browse the store. Five minutes later, a black man in his 60s comes up and asks also to see a model of the IPhone 6. Since the other model has been put back, Worker #1 shows it to him. After the man leaves, the lady and her mother storm back up to the counter.)

Customer: “I knew you were a racist!”

Worker #1: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

Customer: “I saw you give that BLACK man the model and not me! Does your manager know its staff is comprised of racists?! I DEMAND to see the manager and have you fired!”

(Worker #1 seems quite shaken up about this, and turns towards the manager, who is helping me and my family upgrade my phone.)

Worker #1: “[Manager] can you come here for a moment?”

Manager: “Excuse me, ladies.”

(The manager walks over and we can hear her trying to explain the situation to the customer, but the customer continues to argue and starts to raise her voice. My sister and I are trying our best to ignore her, but my mother decides to butt in when the lady starts to verbally attack the young man.)

Mother: “Oh, for the love of god! Would you just calm down?! This is obviously not his fault and you are disturbing the peace!”

Customer: “Stay out of this; this isn’t any of your business!”

Mother: “I think you made it EVERYONE’S business when you started screaming like a lunatic!”

(The woman and her mother leave in a huff, grumbling to each other. My mother turns to Worker #1.)

My Mother: “Don’t worry, dear, you did nothing wrong. You seem like an excellent young man, and she was a crazy b****.”

(Worker #1 chuckles and says thank you, and the manager comes back to help us. A tiny, old woman that was standing at the back of the store comes up to the counters and speaks to my mother.)

Old Woman: “Thank you for doing that; she was driving me insane!”

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Can’t Refund The Police’s Time

, , , , | Right | June 14, 2017

(A customer is making a scene at the customer service counter. He wants a refund on a phone we don’t stock and has a receipt from another store with a name that sounds similar to ours but isn’t quite the same. I’ve had to call my manager over to explain we can’t refund products that weren’t purchased from us but this guy refuses to budge.)

Customer: “Listen, buddy, you are going to give me back the money I paid for this piece of s**** or I am going to dial the police right now and see how you like having to deal with them!”

Manager: “If you do that they’ll tell you they can’t do much. I’ve already explained, and my employee has already explained, that you didn’t purchase this from us so we can’t refund you for it.”

(The customer proceeds to pull out his phone and makes a show of dialing the police.)

Customer: “Yeah this is [Customer] at [Store] at [Address]… I need some boys in blue to come down and settle a dispute the s*** these employees are giving me! No… no, they aren’t armed… No, I’m not in any danger… Look, just send the d*** police, okay?! Thank you!”

(He turns and smiles smugly at us.)

Customer: “You two are in trouble now!”

Manager: “In that case, sir, please can you step aside so we can assist the customers behind you while we wait?”

(The customer does so but keeps smirking at us. Several minutes pass and he starts looking more unsure.)

Customer: “Well?”

Manager: “Well what?”

Customer: “Aren’t you going to try to get me to call off the cops?”

Manager: “Sir, I already told you they aren’t going to be able to do anything. Upholding our return policy is not a crime so all that’s going to happen is they’re going to come here, possibly take a statement, and tell you there’s nothing more to be done.”

(The customer’s smile slowly melts away.)

Customer: “You’re serious? You’re not going to do anything to stop the cops from getting involved?”

Manager: “I don’t know how else to say this, sir. You want to return something you didn’t buy here; we can’t do that because, as stated, you didn’t buy it here. If the only way you will believe me is if the police tell it to you then so be it.”

(The customer is now looking pale.)

Customer: “You… you a**-hole! I have unpaid tickets! I can’t talk to the police!”

(The customer bolted out of the store and quickly drove like a madman out of our parking lot. Several minutes later the police actually did turn up and confirmed the guy’s description and car matched that of a driver they’ve had to pull over multiple times for dangerous driving and who owed a fair amount.)

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