I do tech support for a cell phone provider.

Caller: “My iPhone screen is stuck on the Apple logo!”

I go through the usual steps of trying to get him to get it restarted, but no matter what we try, he says he’s just seeing the Apple logo.

Me: “I honestly have never seen this issue before. Can you tell me the model number? I’ll try to see if I can troubleshoot further.”

Caller: “How do I find the model number?”

Me: “It should be on the back. It’s part of the small text at the bottom of the phone.”

Caller: “There’s nothing on the back; it’s just some black glass.”

Me: “Wait… there’s what on the back?”

Caller: “Just some black glass.”

Yes. After twenty minutes, I realized that he had been looking at the back of his phone this whole time. I have no idea who thought it was a good idea to get this man a smartphone. 

Related:
Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 50
Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 49
Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 48
Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 47
Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 46

I manage a cell phone store. A college student comes in with her phone.

Customer: *Complaining* “It’s stopped working!”

Sure enough, it won’t power up.

Me: “What did the phone do when it quit working?”

Customer: “Well, it was in the side pocket of my backpack, and I was in a stall in the ladies’ room at the college. I swung my backpack over my shoulder, and the phone flipped out and landed in the toilet.” 

I immediately bagged that sucker up and scrubbed my hands for about ten minutes.

I work security in a phone shop in a major city. It’s pretty much the flagship shop’s overflow shop, so we aren’t busy unless the main shop is packed. Today, both shops are insanely full. There is a large queue in the shop, and it isn’t getting smaller.

This man walks in and starts walking past the queue. It’s not like the queue is hard to miss. So, I approach him.

Me: “Excuse me, sir. There’s a queue there you need to join.”

Customer: “No, I’m fine.”

Me: “Sir, there’s a queue; you have to join it if you want to talk to staff.”

He has now walked past the queue, which is about ten people long, and is standing opposite the desk by the wall.

Me: “Sir, if you want to talk to staff, you have to join the queue.”

Customer: “I heard you the first time.”

Me: “Okay, but you will not be served before the people in the queue.”

Customer: “Whatever. You go back to the door and leave me alone.”

I looked at the manager, and he gave me a nod to let me know he had this.

The man tried a couple of times to be served, but the staff told him to join the queue. Then, they just ignored him as they served the people in the queue.

The queue did not get smaller; in fact, it grew a couple of times. I watched the man get annoyed and start huffing and cursing under his breath.

He had to wait for almost an hour and a half because he wouldn’t join the queue. When the shop was finally empty, the staff took their sweet time with the paperwork. (The manager said they could and he would sort the man out.)

The manager approached him, and he was not happy. He complained about the wait, and the manager just looked at him with absolute incredulity. The man eventually said something racist to the manager, and the manager kicked him out.

A customer comes in with his prepaid phone back when cell phones are still relatively new.

Customer: “I want to put some credit on my phone. I can’t figure it out.”

Me: “Can you show me where you’re having problems?”

Customer: “Well, I’ve put some money in it, but it’s not doing anything.”

Me: “Did you use Amex to upload the credit? Sometimes Amex can take a while.”

Customer: “What? No. I used cash.”

He thought that he was supposed to put the money inside the phone. I took the back lid off the phone et voilà, €50 tucked in there.

A woman has been sitting in her car outside our store for a few minutes. Eventually she comes storming in and says:

Woman: “Why it won’t let me on y’all’s internet?!”

Me: “What do you mean?

She pulls out one of those little android tablets like you get at the drug store and says:

Woman: “It keep asking me for a wee-fee password.”

Me: “We don’t have public wifi, ma’am. We only have guest wifi for customers.”

Woman: “So then give it to me if it’s for customers!”

Me: “Are you a customer?”

Woman: “I’m standing in your store, ain’t I?”

Me: “But have you bought anything?”

Woman: “What’s that got to do with it?”

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 46
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 45
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 44
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 43
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 42