H2-Slow, Part 12

| TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer and her daughter walk in to the store. The daughter has a water damaged phone due to her sweating so much through her pants, where her phone was in her pocket.)

Me: “I’m afraid you will have to take it to a corporate location to get it repaired or replaced.

Mother: *coming to the sudden realization that liquid might not be the best thing for a phone* “So water is bad for phones, right?”

Me: “Yes.”

Mother: “So if I use my phone to play my music in the shower, will that hurt it?”

Me: “Yes, it’s water.

Mother: “What if I put my phone in a bag?” *pause* “Oh, well, that won’t work. I have to plug my headphones in…”

Related:
H2Slow, Part 11
H2Slow, Part 10
H2Slow, Part 9

Doesn’t Fit The Bill

| Yorkshire, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(A customer comes into the store and comments her bills are higher than they should be. She has looked at her bill and it’s saying she’s calling people she doesn’t know. I sit the customer down and log into her account.)

Customer: “I’ve just seen my bill and it’s £50.”

Me: “The last abnormally high bill you had was three months ago.”

Customer: “No it says it’s £50; I looked before I came in.”

Me: “Do you mind showing me how you are viewing your bill?”

Customer: “No problem.”

(She starts by clicking the link in her text to view her bill, and then proceeds to click on the link to use the app. Once in the app store, she then showed me where it showed me her bill and the random people she had called. Turns out she had been viewing the example photos of how the app worked.)

Unhappy Holidays, Part 5

, | Houston, TX, USA | Holidays

(I’m the manager at a small neighborhood cell phone shop in the most diverse city in the US. On any given day, I encounter customers from a good dozen different cultures. More than half of my customers are originally from another country or are the first generation born here, and a good percentage of them are Muslim, Buddhist, or Hindu [as is our store owner], and I’m an atheist. I absolutely love the holidays, all of them. Celebrating for any reason is awesome to me, and I like to include everybody so I say “Happy Holidays” unless someone beats me to it and says “Merry Christmas,” then I say “Merry Christmas to you, too.” It is the Sunday before Christmas.)

Me: *to my customer as she and her mother open the door to leave* “Thank you for choosing [Carrier]. You’re going to love the service and if you need any help or have any issues you can stop by anytime and we’ll be glad to help you out. Have a great day and Happy Holidays!”

Customer’s Mother: “It’s Merry Christmas! Merry CHRIST-mas! Not happy holidays. Christ is the reason for the season. We just had the most beautiful service at church about how nobody respects Christ during Christmas anymore!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, Merry Christmas to you, too!”

Customer: “You don’t have to be so rude, Mom. Maybe she’s Jewish!”

Related:
Unhappy Holidays, Part 4
Unhappy Holidays, Part 3
Unhappy Holidays, Part 2

Not Even In Line And Out Of Line

| USA | Bad Behavior, Technology, Time

(Our customers who come in are served on a first-come, first-serve basis, since it typically takes anywhere from 15-45 minutes per person depending on what they need. It’s a Sunday, several of our staff are on vacation and several others have called off sick, and there’s already nine people waiting for various services. As I go to call the next customer who has been patiently waiting for close to two hours, a female customer who has just entered walks up to me.)

Customer #1: “I need help.”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, but we’re quite busy. Can I get your name to add to the waiting list? We’ll have someone with you as soon as possible.”

Customer #1: “I just have a quick question, though. Shouldn’t take more than a few seconds.”

Me: “I suppose if it’s just a quick question, I can help. Then after I can take your name down if you’ll need further help.”

Customer #1: “Good, I just need to know if you’re taking trade-ins for [Older Model Cellphone] to get money off of the new updated version.”

Me: “As long as it’s in working condition, we absolutely do.”

Customer #1: *trying to hand me her old cell phone from her purse* “Great. Well, I’ll just give you this, and I’d like [Newer Model Phone]. I want the silver-colored model if possible. I also want a case. I’m not picky about it, but preferably one that’ll last. I also want to switch my data plan. I only have 2 gigs now, but I wanna up it to 4 because I’ve been going over a bit. Also, we need to add my husband to our plan and to get him a phone. He doesn’t want anything fancy, though.”

Me: *refusing to take her phone* “I’ll be able to help you with that. Can I just your name for the waiting list?”

Customer #1: “Oh, I just wanted to do it now.”

Me: “Unfortunately, ma’am, we have a number of people who have been waiting to be assisted. I can take your name down though, and assist you shortly.”

Customer #1: *narrowing her eyes* “But I want to do this now.”

Me: “Ma’am, we have a waiting list. I have to help people on a first-come, first-serve basis.”

Customer #1: *starting to fume* “Well, I’m not waiting.”

Me: “Unfortunately, I need to be helping the next person on our waiting list. If you’d like, I can take down your name, but unfortunately I won’t be able to assist you at the moment.”

Customer #1: *screaming* “But I don’t want to wait! If they’ve all been waiting, surely they won’t mind waiting a little longer.”

(Everyone is now looking. Another customer who is standing nearby chimes in.)

Customer #2: “I’ve been waiting over an hour. As a matter of fact I DO mind having to wait longer just because you can’t be bothered to wait like the rest of us!”

Customer #1: “Go to h***!”

(She storms towards the door, turning before she leaves…)

Customer #1: “This is terrible customer service, you know! I shouldn’t have to wait! You took my question, that means I am being helped first and foremost!”

Customer #2: “No, you’re just a terrible f****** customer!”

Customer #1: “You shut your mouth, you f****** hog!”

(Another voice pops up.)

Customer #3: “Uh… [Name]?”

(Customer #1 turned and saw another customer who seemed to recognize her, and was staring at her in shock. She went red and bolted, leaving the rest of the room snickering and laughing. It’s always fun to see someone like this get embarrassed by their own behavior. Unfortunately, I didn’t find out who the other customer was or how they knew the woman.)

Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 3

| UT, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

Customer: “I have had this phone for two and a half months and the screen is already broken. Don’t you guys stand next to your products?”

Manager: “Of course we do, if it is defective, but no electronic store can cover hardware physical damage for free. That’s why most places offer insurance on their products. We also sell cases and screen guards to decrease the risk of damage in the instance of dropping or scratches.”

Customer: “I don’t believe in insurance. If the product was built poorly enough to need a case and a screen guard it should have come with one. I mean cars come with bumpers.”

Me: “But if you total your car, a bumper isn’t going to do you any good. Nothing is indestructible. Even cars have insurance and deductibles if you get into a wreck. The only difference in this instance is that you decided to keep it out of its “seatbelt” and have denied any insurance we have tried to offer you for the entire length of time you have been with this carrier.”

(The customer kept grumbling about our incompetence and how he should be given a new phone because we need to stand by our product.)

Related:
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 2
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance

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