Helping Her To Get Rid Of The Voices…

, , , , | | Right | August 13, 2019

(An old lady enters the store.)

Customer: “I have calls on my phone and I’m not able to delete them!”

Me: “You want to delete calls?”

Customer: “Yes! They are on my phone and I can’t remove them.”

(I look at her phone.)

Me: “Oh, I understand! You have voicemails.”

(I show her how to access her voicemail and she begins to listen to it.)

Customer: “Oh! Hello! Yes! Okay!”

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. You know it’s only a voicemail. The person that left it on your phone cannot hear you.”

Customer: *to me* “Yes, yes!” *to the phone* “Okay! See you later. Bye!”

Me: “You know the person couldn’t hear you, right? It’s only a voicemail. It was recorded.”

Customer: “Yes, I know. Thank you very much!”

(She went out happily.)

The Screen Exploded, And The Customer Is About To

, , , , | | Right | August 12, 2019

(I work in a cell phone store. A young client comes in with what I later learn is her legal guardian.)

Client: “Hey, you need to send this s*** to be repaired. It’s not working.”

Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

Client: “Well, it was really cold outside, and all I did was touch the screen and it exploded.”

(I take a look at the phone.)

Me: “Unfortunately, this is not covered, as it would be considered ‘user damage.’”

Client: “What? It’s not my fault; it was the cold and this s*** phone!”

Me: “First of all, glass is non-insulating, so it is not possible that winter breaks your glass. Furthermore, you can clearly see bite marks along the edge of the phone, as well as these scuffs indicating fall damage.”

Client: “But the glass is not the problem! I have trouble touching icons and sometimes it calls on its own!”

Me: “The digitizer—” *pane which registers touch* “—is basically glued to the glass, so yeah, you’d have trouble with it if the glass is broken.”

Client: “But this s*** phone still calls on its own in the middle of the night, even when I turn it off! I turn it off and it calls on its own! That’s why my bill is so high!”

Me: “Let me get this straight. You shut your phone down and it calls on its own, in the middle of the night?”

(Incredulous, I took a look at her bill. Not only was she over her minutes by a large amount, but the calls were all placed during the day. All in all, I ended up finding a plan that better suited her needs, despite her constantly spitting out insults about my person and the phones, my favourite being, “Pawn shops don’t accept your phones because they are crap!” We deal in high-end devices.)

Friends With Money (Problems)

, , , , , , , | | Friendly | July 10, 2019

(I am at the mall with a friend, who is also my roommate. We head into a cell phone provider, as I’m going to change my plan and buy a new phone. We get to talking about how expensive it all is. Side note: he’s notoriously bad with money.)

Friend: “I can barely pay my phone bill as it is. I can’t imagine paying [price] for a [brand-new model phone].”

Me: “I can’t afford it, either; that’s why I’m getting the older model. It’s on sale now, essentially free if you extend your contract.”

Friend: “Make sure you ask about cancellation fees. [Other Phone Company] was the worst when I couldn’t pay and tried to cancel my plan.”

Me: “Yeah, I’ll ask.”

Friend: “Or you can do what I did and just disappear.” *laughs*

Me: “What?” 

Friend: “Yeah, instead of giving [Other Phone Company] like 200 bucks to get out of the contract, I just stopped paying.”

Me: “But you still owe them that money, right? They can come after you for it.”

Friend: “Let’s see them find me.” 

Me: *silence*

Friend: *proudly* “I’ve moved twice since then. They’ll never get a penny from me.” *laughs*

Me: “That would kill your credit rating.” 

Friend: “What does that matter? I already have a credit card.” 

(It still boggles my mind. He was a good person, and smart in general, just absolutely clueless about money.)

Stolen From The Amazon

, , , , , , | Right | April 16, 2019

(I work at a major cell phone retailer. We get a lot of prepaid customers that bring their own devices as we are right in front of the mall’s drop-off point for shuttles from the nearby airport. A gentleman in his 80s with a walker comes in.)

Me: “Welcome to [Store]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I need a prepaid account for this phone my daughter bought me.”

Me: “Great. I can help you with that. Which plan would you like?” *goes over available plans*

Customer: “I’ll take plan B.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. I’d be happy to help you with that. Before I set it up, I need to ask if the device is unlocked, because if for some reason the phone does not work on the network, I cannot refund the cost of the service for any reason and I cannot test the device beforehand.”

Customer: “Oh, no, it’s no problem. My daughter bought this phone from [Store]!”

Me: “Great. Let’s set this up. That’ll be $50.”

Customer: “Here you go.”

Me: “Sir, this phone is not activating; let me check a few things that may cause it.” *checks to see if it is reported stolen and it is* “Sir, it appears this phone is reported stolen. May I ask how you received this item?”

Customer: “I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GETTING AT! MY DAUGHTER BOUGHT THIS FROM [STORE]! FIX THIS NOW!”

Me: “Sir, as I told you before, since you provided your own device I cannot refund any service provided, as the sim card is ready to go, but your device is reported stolen so it will not work. I can happily sell you a newer and better phone for $29.99 that will work on the service, if you wish.”

Customer: “You’re just trying to steal my money! I’m not afraid to die, you see! You’re stealing from me and I’ll take you out! I’M NOT AFRAID TO DIE!”

Me: “Sir, all I can do is offer you a solution. Please stop yelling in my store.” *while considering how hard it would be justifying hitting an eighty-year-old man, whether he threatened me or not*

Customer: “I’M NOT AFRAID TO DIE, YOU MOTHERF****** [SLUR]! YOU GET A MANAGER NOW.”

Me: *as my managers are small women and I don’t want to risk them getting them involved* “I can tell you now that they will say the same thing, but with the way you are acting, I will not get one until you calm down.”

Customer: “F*** YOU! YOU NEED TO FIX THIS RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Sir, where did your daughter buy this phone?”

Customer: “OFF AMAZON, YOU MORON! NOW, REPLACE MY PHONE FOR FREE THIS MINUTE OR I’M NOT AFRAID TO DIE OVER THIS!”

Me: “Your daughter bought this phone from someone whole stole it and put it on Amazon. We don’t sell phones on Amazon and we aren’t responsible for your daughter’s stupidity. If you want to threaten me again, I may take it personally.”

Customer: *finally defeated, walks out*

Unfiltered Story #146074

, , , | Unfiltered | April 7, 2019

Unfortunately i am the customer at a mobile phone store:
Me: my battery will not charge, I tried three different cords.
Him: let me see what i can do
(He takes the back off and the battery out put it back in and plugs it in)
Him: it is charging just fine right here…
Me: *light bulb* …. Okay between me and you only, this is my fault, we just moved and i forgot one of the switches had to be on for a specific outlet….
(He laughs and tells me he has a switch like that and it will just be between us)
….i get home and i do not have the backing to my phone so to make it worse i had to call and make sure it was there and then drive back to get it…

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