Providing Out-Of-The-Box Service

, | TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I am another customer in the store purchasing a new phone charger and I overhear this conversation between a manager and an older man. The older man had purchased the phone online from some website that’s not run by this service provider, but had it activated under them. The man’s phone rings; the ringtone is a popular rap song by a female artist. He answers his phone and can hear the manager who has called it but the manager can’t hear him.)

Manager: “I think the problem is the speaker on your phone. You can hear me, but I can’t hear you. And you said something about the ringtones?”

Older Man: “They were all just already on there. It came with them.”

Manager: “See, that’s not normal. Okay, what we can do for you in here today is cancel this phone line and you can purchase a new phone but—”

Older Man: “I don’t understand. If the phone is broken why do I have to pay for a new one?”

Manager: “Well, you can always contact whoever you purchased it from and see if there’s a warranty on it. But it wasn’t from us, so if you want us to fix it, there will be a charge. I can see if you’re eligible for your upgrade.”

Older Man: “I JUST bought the thing! It was brand new right out of the box! If you’re not providing me with a service then why am I even here?”

Manager: “Sir, we are providing you with a service. We are the phone company that you use, but we didn’t supply the phone. Whoever sold you that phone probably sold you a damaged phone.”

Older Man: “They couldn’t have! It was brand new right of the box!”

(Just then his phone rings and he answers it.)

Older Man: “Hello? Hello?” *hangs up* “THIS IS RIDICULOUS. YOU NEED TO FIX MY PHONE!”

Manager: “We can certainly do that, but there will be a charge, unless you contact whoever it was that you purchased the phone from. If it’s under warranty with them then they will send you a new phone for free.”

Older Man: “So I’m supposed to go several days without a phone?! This is ridiculous. I shouldn’t have to wait! I don’t know why I have you as a phone company when you won’t provide me service!”

Manager: “Sir—”

(At this point my transaction was finished and I walked out of the store this man cursing about needing to make phone calls. Somehow I don’t think Nicki Minaj comes standard on brand new out of the box phones, though….)

Keep Going Simpler Until He Bytes

| OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in a retail store and I pick up a phone call. It is not abnormal for us to have people ask questions over the phone for rate plans and device info.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was wondering about your prepaid plans. How much are they?”

Me: “The $50 plan gets you unlimited talk text and data with 1GB of 4G and the rest 2G speeds.”

Customer: “Oh okay. I have 2.5 GB right now…”

Me: “Okay…”

Customer: “Which is more?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Is 1GB more than 2.5GB?”

Me: “2.5GB is more than 1GB, sir.”

Customer: “Oh… how much more is it?”

Me: “I’m sorry? How much more is 2.5GB than 1GB?”

Customer: “Yeah…”

Me: “Uh…”

(I go on an elaborate explanation breaking down 1GB to approximately 1000 MB and 2.5GB to 2,500MB and hoped he could see the difference between the two better that way.)

Customer: “Um… okay… so…”

Me: “It’s double and a half more.”

Customer: “Oh! Double and a half! Okay! Thanks!”

Me: “You have a nice day, sir…”

(I could think of no simpler way to explain basic arithmetic to him.)

Roaming Ever Closer

| OH, USA | Technology

(This is a call from a regular customer.)

Caller: “Hi there, I need to add international calling to my plan.”

Me: “That’s great. What country will you be going to?”

Caller: “Canada.”

Me: “Okay, what you need to do is call customer care and they can add a small international roaming package on, and they can also get you the best rates.”

Caller: “Oh, okay, I’ll do that.”

(Not even five minutes later, I get a call from a different number, out of state.)

Caller: “Hey, I tried to call them, but my phone told me I was roaming and it wouldn’t connect the call.”

Me: “That’s odd. Well, I can try to call Customer Care for you and see if they can add it on or at the very least, try and give you a call. When exactly will you be needing this package added on?”

Caller: “Well, we are about two hours from the Canadian border, so as soon as possible.”

Me: “…”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 47

| Manchester, NH, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(I’m working with a particularly impatient customer who just wants to upgrade but I’ve been having issues with the system. After calling several tech departments, I finally discover what the problem is.)

Me: “Ma’am, it looks as though you previously held an account with us that has gone into collections. Due to issues with our system at the time that you set up this new account, it has gone unnoticed until now. Unfortunately we will not be able to upgrade your phones until that account has been paid in full.”

Customer: “But that doesn’t make any sense. It was three years ago. They need to forget it.”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s not how debt works. You still owe us money and we can’t extend any more credit until it’s paid.”

Customer: *yelling now* “BUT IT WAS THREE YEARS AGO! IT SHOULD BE GONE!”

Me: “No, ma’am, it’s not gone until you pay it.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. I’m going to another carrier. You just lost a customer.”

Me: “That’s very unfortunate, ma’am, and I’m sorry you feel that way. Would you like the number of the collection agency so you can pay us what you owe us?”

Customer: *takes phone number and attempts to dramatically storm out*

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 46
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 45
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 44

Taxing Faxing, Part 14

, | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(Customers will call to purchase service contracts for their mobile phones.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, but after your credit check, I am afraid that you will have to pay a deposit.”

Customer: “How?”

Me: “We can take payment usually over the phone. Or there is also a payment form that can be downloaded, printed, and either faxed or mailed to us.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll fax it!”

(The customer ended up faxing cash. That’s right, cash. He FAXED us four $100 bills! And then just couldn’t understand when we told him it wasn’t a valid method of payment…)

Related:
Taxing Faxing, Part 13
Taxing Faxing, Part 12
Taxing Faxing, Part 11

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