Has Beef With Your Steak

| SA, Australia | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Popular

(I am a waitress at a very busy Italian wedding. When we start serving the main course, we do the bridal and parent tables first, then we start at table one and work through to the last table. I’m going out to table six with five plates. As I cross the ballroom, one of the guests unexpectedly grabs my arm, nearly causing me to drop a plate.)

Guest: *pointing to one plate* “What’s that, the steak?”

Me: *very aware that seconds are ticking by and stopping to chat will mess up the entire flow of staff* “Yes, sir, the scotch fillet.”

Guest: “Ah, yes, that’s mine.”

(There were two options for the main course: steak or chicken. We had over 100 steak orders.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, these are going to another table. But I can promise that your meal will be ready very soon.”

Guest: “But that’s mine! I’ve been waiting fifteen minutes!”

(We hadn’t even been serving mains for fifteen minutes. I quickly apologise and go to drop the meals at the correct table. On the way back I hear him talking to his friend:)

Guest: “Can you believe it? That idiot waitress gave my meal to someone else!”

(I went back into the kitchen and the entire wait staff had a good laugh about it. Some people are so oblivious!)


Finger-Lickin’ Crazy

| Seattle, WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to place an order.”

Me: “Okay, what can I get for you?”

Customer: “I would like two orders of the fried chicken, one order of mashed potatoes, and two orders of the corn on the cob.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we actually don’t carry any of these items. We only have sandwiches and salads.”

Customer: “This is [Company], right?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Customer: “Well, what am I supposed to do now?”

Me: “Call KFC?”

A Big Mayo No No, Part 2

| Ft. Collins, CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m handing out boxed lunches at a construction site. A customer walks up.)

Customer: “How does this work?” *holds up a mayo packet*

Me: “Rip it open a little bit and squeeze it.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “Tear the corner.”

Customer: *Blank stare*

Me: “Here, I’ll do it for you.”

(I tear off the corner and give it to him. The customer then bends over and holds the mayo packet in his hand the way you would a can of soda. It’s also upside down – so before I can say anything, he squeezes as hard as he can and sprays the mayo in his face.)

Customer: “HEY! This thing didn’t work!”

Me: “You held it upside down, sir.” *I hold out a napkin but he just glares*

Customer: “Your fault! Your mayo packet was broken!”

(I honestly wish he did that with a mustard packet…)

A Big Mayo No No

That’s One Way To Get Your Goat

| Colchester, England, UK | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m serving canapés at an outdoor wedding and approach a group of guests.)

Me: “Would anyone like a canapé?”

Guest: “What’s in them?”

Me: “That’s a goat’s cheese tartlet with sun-brushed tomatoes.”

Guest: “Oh, no, I won’t. I just don’t like goat’s cheese. No offence.”

Me: “That’s fine. I didn’t actually make them but I’m sure the chef won’t mind!”

Guest: “I didn’t mean any offence. I know you’re not a goat!”

Me: “…Thank you, sir.”

A Cup Is Over-Full Kind Of Person

, | Oakville, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(We sell catering boxes of 15, 25, or 50 cups of frozen yoghurt, that customers can order for events. While the cups we offer in-store are 16 oz. or 25 oz., the cups we use for the catering boxes are much smaller at 6 oz. Therefore, when telling customers about the catering boxes, we have to make sure to mention this. I am helping a woman who is thinking of buying the 25-cup box.)

Customer: “So, does the yogurt come in these cups?”

Me: “No, for the catering boxes it comes in smaller, 6 oz. cups. I’ll show you.”

(I fetch a cup and show it to her. It is only a couple inches high and a little over twice as wide.)

Customer: “And that’s supposed to feed 25 people?!”

Me: “…One per person.”


Customer: “OHHH.”

(Many people feel that size of cup isn’t big enough even for one person. I found it hilarious that she thought we expected one of them to be used by 25 people!)

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