I work for a catering company. At most events, caterers and the bar staff are separately hired. This is the case at this wedding. It is in an unfamiliar venue, and my company is set up in the kitchen, nowhere near the bar. The bar staff is wearing white shirts, name tags, and black trousers. We wear all black.

This wedding has been going on for a very long time, and everyone is very drunk. I am doing my last look around my tables for cutlery, coffee cups, plates, and ceramics that our company provides, and this guy calls me over. I am holding four plates at this time, so I have no free hands, and I’m exhausted from hauling these heavy dishes around. It’s 11:30 pm. I’ll likely finish cleaning up just before 1:00 am, and I am not looking forward to needing to polish three hundred pieces of silverware, stack and wrap plates, and load the stuff into the van.

He calls me sweetheart, and I can hear how drunk he is, so I decide it doesn’t matter if I’m rude.

Guy #1: “I would love it if you could grab me a bottle of Rosé for the table.”

Me: *Semi-politely* “Sorry, I can’t.”

I start passing by the table when another guy grabs at me. He misses but manages to make me slip a plate out of my arm. It doesn’t break, but it makes a mess of leftovers on the floor, which I have to clean up after I take the plates to a drop station.

Guy #2: *Leaning back in his chair* “Just grab a bottle! It’s an open bar!”

Me: “Sir, I can’t go behind the bar as I don’t work for them.”

At this point, we have been passed by an actual member of the bar staff, but they don’t usually deliver bottles to the tables to discourage people from getting too drunk — like this guy.

Me: “Get it yourself.”

I headed off with the one plate since someone else had taken my others.

Minutes later, I heard this guy at the entrance to the kitchen. (We go in one way and out the other so we don’t bump into each other with full hands.) He was pushing on the shut door as I polished away, calling me a b**** because “The other girl grabbed me a bottle when I went up.”

Yes, because she was bar staff.

I am working at the bar at a VIP event and go to the fridge to get more stock. I am gone maybe forty-five seconds. In that time, some self-important a**hat comes behind the bar, cracks a bottle of the most expensive white wine, and pours himself two huge glasses. The guests all know they’re not supposed to go behind or access the bar.

Me: “Sir, you can’t be back here.”

Customer: “You were all being lazy and slacking off, and I hate waiting!”

He sneers at me and wanders off. About twenty minutes later, he’s back, and I am present at the bar.

Customer: “Ah, you’re actually doing your jobs this time. I’ll take two of the white wines.”

Me: “Absolutely, sir.”

I make sure that every time he comes back to the bar for the rest of the wedding, I serve him the cheapest wine on offer. I can tell he has a sour expression on his face when he takes a sip.

Customer: “What happened to the good stuff?”

Me: *Staring pointedly* “Oh, someone came behind the bar and stole them.”

He stared back at me but didn’t say anything else. I made sure everyone else got the good stuff that night, except him.

I work at a Poke place. We do catering — like we make the food and they pick it up. We get a lot of orders for corporate events and meetings. The app we use for our catering orders lets every individual person who placed an order in the catering give us a review.

One day, we got this three-star rating and all it said was:

Review: “I didn’t realize the fish was going to be raw.”

This happened during the health crisis. When society started opening up after being shut down, we were finally allowed to hold a family party. We used caterers, and one of them was walking around, cleaning up, and collecting used glasses and plates.

I was standing in a corner, having put my empty glass on a windowsill. I was planning to get a refill, but apparently, one of the servers had a different idea.

He came over and picked up the glass, holding it by the rim and covering the opening — no gloves.

Server: “Are you finished with this?”

Me: “Well… now I am.”

I guess some people haven’t learned anything from the health crisis.

My mum has a catering company, and when she has a big job, as it’s a family-run business, she will ask my sister and me to help out now and again when she needs it. We’re not fans of it because we don’t like people, but it’s my mum’s baby and we love her. This particular time it is a very chill wedding with an assembly line where we are divvying out my mum’s delicious food.

I can hear this guy in the line loudly talking about how no one wanted to be his date for the wedding, poor him, he’s such a nice guy, etc. He gets to my mum in line.

Guy: “This good looks wonderful! Are you the owner?”

Mum: “Yes. And my two lovely daughters are helping me today.”

The guy looks at me and then my sister.

Guy: “Well, one of them is lovely, at least.”

My mum, taken aback, continues on as if he hasn’t spoken and serves him. He gets to my sister — the lovely one.

Guy: “You’re so beautiful. How does it feel to be the typical, beautiful younger sister?”

She gives him a basilisk stare.

Sister: “Do you want a bread roll?”

The man doesn’t want to hold up the line, despite clearly wanting to carry on speaking to my sister, and he gets to me.

Guy: “I rate you about a four out of ten. How awful it must be for you to have a sister who’s a ten out of ten!”

I don’t think I’m ugly, and I do think my sister is beautiful, but we look very different. She is very slim, athletic, and tanned with bleach blonde hair with conker-coloured (brown) eyes whereas I have an hourglass figure, pale skin, and grey eyes, and I’m heavily tattooed, so I am aware I’m an acquired taste.

I’m not offended that he thinks my sister is beautiful — I think she’s beautiful — however, I am offended that he thinks we want his “assembly line” commentary, especially when he looks like a human version of Sea Biscuit.

I lean back.

Me: “You’re the guy without a date, right?”

I can see my mum twitching like, “Please, for the love of God, don’t be too harsh.”

He’s grinning at me with his friends all proud of himself.

Me: “I wonder which one it is — if it’s your lack of manners, looks, or personality that stopped you from getting a date when every else has one?”

I pause to put some food on his plate, and then I hand it back to him and smile.

Me: “I imagine it’s all three. Also, despite being a ‘four’, I’ve never not had a date for a function. Have a good day now.”

I never got to hear his response, as the line needed to get moving; however, the guy’s smile was now gone. Such a shame. I didn’t get told off by my mum. Maybe now he’ll have a better approach to women. I doubt it, though.

This story is part of our Best Of October 2021 roundup!

Read the next Best Of October 2021 roundup story!

Read the Best Of October 2021 roundup!