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Finger-Lickin’ Crazy

| Seattle, WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to place an order.”

Me: “Okay, what can I get for you?”

Customer: “I would like two orders of the fried chicken, one order of mashed potatoes, and two orders of the corn on the cob.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we actually don’t carry any of these items. We only have sandwiches and salads.”

Customer: “This is [Company], right?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Customer: “Well, what am I supposed to do now?”

Me: “Call KFC?”

A Big Mayo No No, Part 2

| Ft. Collins, CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m handing out boxed lunches at a construction site. A customer walks up.)

Customer: “How does this work?” *holds up a mayo packet*

Me: “Rip it open a little bit and squeeze it.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “Tear the corner.”

Customer: *Blank stare*

Me: “Here, I’ll do it for you.”

(I tear off the corner and give it to him. The customer then bends over and holds the mayo packet in his hand the way you would a can of soda. It’s also upside down – so before I can say anything, he squeezes as hard as he can and sprays the mayo in his face.)

Customer: “HEY! This thing didn’t work!”

Me: “You held it upside down, sir.” *I hold out a napkin but he just glares*

Customer: “Your fault! Your mayo packet was broken!”

(I honestly wish he did that with a mustard packet…)

Related:
A Big Mayo No No

That’s One Way To Get Your Goat

| Colchester, England, UK | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m serving canapés at an outdoor wedding and approach a group of guests.)

Me: “Would anyone like a canapé?”

Guest: “What’s in them?”

Me: “That’s a goat’s cheese tartlet with sun-brushed tomatoes.”

Guest: “Oh, no, I won’t. I just don’t like goat’s cheese. No offence.”

Me: “That’s fine. I didn’t actually make them but I’m sure the chef won’t mind!”

Guest: “I didn’t mean any offence. I know you’re not a goat!”

Me: “…Thank you, sir.”

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