A Big Mayo No No, Part 2

| Ft. Collins, CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m handing out boxed lunches at a construction site. A customer walks up.)

Customer: “How does this work?” *holds up a mayo packet*

Me: “Rip it open a little bit and squeeze it.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “Tear the corner.”

Customer: *Blank stare*

Me: “Here, I’ll do it for you.”

(I tear off the corner and give it to him. The customer then bends over and holds the mayo packet in his hand the way you would a can of soda. It’s also upside down – so before I can say anything, he squeezes as hard as he can and sprays the mayo in his face.)

Customer: “HEY! This thing didn’t work!”

Me: “You held it upside down, sir.” *I hold out a napkin but he just glares*

Customer: “Your fault! Your mayo packet was broken!”

(I honestly wish he did that with a mustard packet…)

Related:
A Big Mayo No No

That’s One Way To Get Your Goat

| Colchester, England, UK | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m serving canapés at an outdoor wedding and approach a group of guests.)

Me: “Would anyone like a canapé?”

Guest: “What’s in them?”

Me: “That’s a goat’s cheese tartlet with sun-brushed tomatoes.”

Guest: “Oh, no, I won’t. I just don’t like goat’s cheese. No offence.”

Me: “That’s fine. I didn’t actually make them but I’m sure the chef won’t mind!”

Guest: “I didn’t mean any offence. I know you’re not a goat!”

Me: “…Thank you, sir.”

A Cup Is Over-Full Kind Of Person

, | Oakville, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(We sell catering boxes of 15, 25, or 50 cups of frozen yoghurt, that customers can order for events. While the cups we offer in-store are 16 oz. or 25 oz., the cups we use for the catering boxes are much smaller at 6 oz. Therefore, when telling customers about the catering boxes, we have to make sure to mention this. I am helping a woman who is thinking of buying the 25-cup box.)

Customer: “So, does the yogurt come in these cups?”

Me: “No, for the catering boxes it comes in smaller, 6 oz. cups. I’ll show you.”

(I fetch a cup and show it to her. It is only a couple inches high and a little over twice as wide.)

Customer: “And that’s supposed to feed 25 people?!”

Me: “…One per person.”

(Pause…)

Customer: “OHHH.”

(Many people feel that size of cup isn’t big enough even for one person. I found it hilarious that she thought we expected one of them to be used by 25 people!)

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