It’s Hard To Be On Top (Knot)

, , , | Right | CREDIT: viodox0259 | January 9, 2021

I work in a casino. I have this regular player — a young guy who was born into a fortune. One of his relatives passed away and left him a pretty sizable amount of money, so he has decided played poker every single day for the rest of his days. He is a good player. I do not enjoy his company just because of the “Know-it-All” attitude, but he is good.

[Regular] is 5’10” and well-built, with muscle. He decided today was the day to show off his top knot hairstyle. He sits down and soon he’s absolutely killing the table — hand, after hand, after hand. And because he’s in such a good mood, he’s playing any two cards, calling any $500 bet, and he’s just dominating.

This one guy at the table decides he’s had enough. He gets up without saying a word and leaves. A moment later, he comes back in, walks behind [Regular], pulls out a pair of scissors, and cuts off his top knot.

I couldn’t believe it. I was dying laughing inside, and it just turned into one big brawl. That was a good day.

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You Have To Spend Money To Make Money

, , , , , | Legal | CREDIT: viodox0259 | December 15, 2020

I work in a casino. Most slot machines don’t give winnings in cash; they give you a ticket to take to a machine. A lot of casinos have machines as soon as you walk through the front doors. A man walks up to one of these machines and sticks in his $100 bill. He doesn’t gamble it; instead, he hits the cash-out button and gets a $100 ticket. He then takes the ticket to the ATM machine to get his $100.

Now, remember, his original $100 bill is in the slot machine. He then takes the $100 from the ATM and goes back to the same slot machine. He repeats this process over a hundred times. Essentially, he’s taking cash from the ATM and loading up the slot machine. He knows he can’t do it too much, because if the slot machine gets full of money, the machine will shut down and the slow attendant will have to take all the cash out.

He deposits over $10,000. Then, he pulls out a small crowbar, cracks the machine open, and makes a run out the front door with all the cash. To my knowledge, he was never caught. But d***, that was pretty smart.

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It’s A Double Emergency

, , , | Right | December 1, 2020

It’s a summer weekend at the casino, which means that it’s loud, it’s crowded, and there are quite a few people about. Fortunately, my job tonight is to clean the restaurant dining rooms. This is probably my favorite assignment. It’s busy work, but as the restaurants are closed by the time I get to them, I get to avoid dealing with people.

For the most part, anyway.

It’s about midnight, so by now, I’ve worked my way up toward the front of my first restaurant. A man walks in. I shut off my vacuum and am about to greet him when I notice where he is.

He’s standing before a set of two large glass doors, one of which has a large red sign reading, in large white letters, “EMERGENCY EXIT.” These doors are, of course, an emergency exit.

I freeze with a mixture of shock and dread. He’s… not actually going to try to use these doors, is he?

Oh, God, he is.

As he reaches out a hand to open the door, I shout out:

Me: “Wait! That’s an emergency exit!”

I’m too late. The door with the large red sign opens, the alarm sounds, and the man pauses, as if shocked by this turn of events.

By now, I am close enough that I can smell the problem on his breath. I guide him back to an actual exit, which is easy to miss even when you’re sober. The phone being too close to the alarm, I make my way to security to explain what happened and so they can send someone to turn off the alarm.

A few weeks pass. Once again, I’m assigned to clean the restaurants. Once again, it’s about midnight, meaning that once again, I am cleaning up near the front of my first restaurant when a group of women walks in, stopping before the set of two large glass doors, one of which has a large red sign reading, in large white letters, “EMERGENCY EXIT.” These doors are, of course, still an emergency exit.

“Oh, God, not again,” I groan to myself.

I shut off the vacuum and run up to them.

Woman: “Can we go out this way?”

Me: “No.”

I point to the large red sign which reads, in large white letters, “EMERGENCY EXIT.”

Me: “This is an emergency exit.”

I guided them to the actual exit and returned to my vacuuming, lamenting the lack of common sense in this world.

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He’s Gambling With His Health

, , , , | Right | October 30, 2020

I work in a Tribal casino on its own Sovereign land, meaning they can make some of their own rules like allowing smoking indoors, as opposed to the rest of the State.

As I’m walking around the gaming floor sanitizing high-touch surfaces, I spot a guest with his mask completely missing. While we make exceptions for people eating and drinking, this man has no drink, no food, and no cigarettes.

Me: “Excuse me, sir. Can I have you put your mask back on?”

Grumpy Guest: “No.”

Me: “Oh, would you care to tell me why?”

Grumpy Guest: “Because I’m an American and this is a free country!”

Me: “Actually, sir, you are currently on Sovereign Tribal land and everyone is required to wear their masks. Did you need to get a new mask? Security has boxes of them around the corner.”

He gets quiet for a few moments, apparently trying to puzzle out how his patriotic announcement did not work in his favor.

Grumpy Guest: “Well, I guess I’ll just leave, then.”

Me: “I guess so.”

I walked around the corner to flag down a security officer who would have asked the man to leave, but when I came back, he had his previously missing mask on and was still playing his slot machine. I wish everyone working had a flock of security officers to call on for difficult people who won’t wear their masks. I hope all the rest of you stay safe and sane.

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She Had An Ace In The Hole: Her LIES

, , , , , , | Working | September 28, 2020

My friends and I go to Las Vegas for the weekend. While there, we decide to play some blackjack, so we find a blackjack table.

The dealer deals us our cards. Her up card is an eight. After we all make our decisions, the dealer turns over her down card — a nine — giving her a hard seventeen. At first, since we all have between eighteen and twenty, we think we win, since the table’s rule is that the dealer stands on any seventeen. However, the dealer then draws another card — a four — giving her a twenty-one.

Dealer: “You lose!”

Me: “You cannot draw on seventeen! It says, ‘Dealer stands on seventeen,’ right on the table!”

Dealer: *Snotty tone* “Sorry, I make the rules at this table!”

Friend #1: “Just leave it, [My Name]. Let’s just do another round.”

She deals us another hand. Her up card is an ace this time.

Dealer: “Would anyone like to make an insurance bet?”

We all decide to make the bet.

Dealer: “Nope, no ten-value card. You lose your insurance bet!”

Welp. It was worth a try. We continue regardless and make our decisions. She turns over her down card — a king.

Dealer: *Smug grin* “You lose!”

Friend #3: “You said you didn’t have a ten-value card!”

Dealer: “Well, I lied.”

Friend #2: “You can’t do that! We want our money back!”

Dealer: *Snottily* “My table, my rules. You’re not getting your money back.”

Me: “That’s it. We’re done here.”

We got up and went to management to complain. Upon hearing our complaints, they told us we weren’t the first patrons she had pulled this stunt on. After investigating the security footage to confirm it, they refunded us our money and apologized for the incident, assuring us she would no longer be a problem. We ended up playing poker and roulette for the rest of our time there. At one point, on my way to the restroom, I saw the now-fired dealer being dragged out by security, kicking and screaming. We still go to this casino whenever we go to Vegas, but we no longer play blackjack.

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