Food For Thought-ful

| Durant, OK, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

(I work in a gift shop inside a very successful casino. Our department is very small, and has suffered a few losses of faculty leaving us shorthanded for a small period. I am working a late shift unable to take any breaks but I don’t mind it. I’m used to being on my feet, but I am feeling very hungry. A customer comes in with bags of food wanting a few candy bars.)

Me: “Oh my gosh, that smells so good.”

Customer: “Yeah, double cheeseburger, onion rings and chili fries! I’m feeling hungry tonight!”

Me: “Oh man, me too! I haven’t had a chance to eat today.”

Customer: “You haven’t? Well, why not?!”

Me: “The store is open 24 hours, and there’s no one else here to break me. It’s only for a little while though, and my relief comes in at midnight.”

Customer: “But that’s so long!”

Me: “It’s not that long, but that smell sure is making me hungry!”

Customer: “You want me to order you some food?”

Me: “Sir, you don’t have to do that!”

Customer: “I want to!”

(I continue ringing him up and hand him back his change.)

Me: *chuckles* “Alright, thank you, sir. You have a good night.”

Customer: “You the same!”

(The customer leaves and the offer slips my mind as I continue working. Sure enough, about an hour later a drink-girl comes in with a tray full of all the food he described! I was astounded! Thank you, sir, for your generosity!)

Not Quite On Top Of Her Game

| MD, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Technology, Theme Of The Month, Uncategorized

(I work as a slot machine technician. While we do occasionally talk with customers, they’re not our primary concern. In the event of a customer dispute, we’re to call a supervisor and let them handle it from there. I’m flagged down by a flustered customer while walking the floor. She is playing a very popular game. Her English is halting at best.)

Customer: “This game stole my $20! You gimme $20!”

Me: “Let me take a look at it, ma’am.”

(I open the game and check the device that accepts bills; nothing is inside. I next check the machine’s logs, and see that a $20 bill was indeed inserted only a few moments earlier, but that exact $20 was then cashed out 10 seconds later with no games played.)

Me: “Ma’am, it appears the $20 was cashed out 10 seconds after it was put in.”

Customer: “No! It stole it! Gimme my $20!”

(I call for a supervisor. It’s a very busy Friday night, and it takes 15 minutes for one to finally come by. In the meantime, the lady has gotten more agitated.)

Supervisor: “Hey, what’s up?”

Me: “This customer says the machine ate her $20, but the machine’s logs say that the $20 was cashed out 10 seconds later.”

Supervisor: “Thanks, I’ve got this.”

(My supervisor approaches the customer.)

Supervisor: “Ma’am, the machine says you cashed out your $20.”

Customer: “No! It took my $20! Gimme $20!”

Supervisor: “Ma’am, I’m not giving you $20.”

(The look on her face is something like rage, disbelief and heartbreak. She eventually storms off, getting nothing for her troubles. After talking with a few other techs, it turns out she has tried this at a few other games in the casino that night, with the exact same result.)

Hersight Is 20/20

| Illinois, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

(I’m pregnant, and have just had an ultrasound that has confirmed that I am having a boy. The guest in question is a regular every weekend.)

Guest: “Oh, you’re pregnant!”

Me: “Yes, I am.”

(The guest reaches out and grabs my stomach.)

Guest: “It’s a girl! I can tell, and I’m never wrong!”

Me: “Actually, I’m having a boy.”

Guest: “No, you’re not. I am never wrong. It’s definitely a girl!”

(Every time I see the guest after this, she informs the table that I’m having a girl, and emphatically states that she is never, ever wrong about these things. After my son is born, the first time I see her at work, she flags me over to her table again.)

Guest: “Oh, you had your baby! Did you have a boy or a girl?”

Me: *laughing* “I had a boy.”

Guest: “Congratulations! See? I told you that I was never wrong! I knew that it was a boy all along!”

Placebo Me, Part 5

| Boonville, MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work as a cocktail waitress and this happenes to be on a rather busy night. The customer has only taken one sip of their beer before handing it back to me.)

Customer: “This beer is hot! Go get me one that’s cold. I can’t believe you are serving warm beer!”

Me: “Sir, that beer has been on ice for an hour or two. It still has ice crystals on it. Are you sure it’s warm?”

Customer: “I can’t believe you think I’m lying!”

(I apologize and take the beer back to the bar and refill my tray, never switching out said beer because it’s ice cold. I return to the customer and give him the same beer back.)

Me: “Here you go! Sorry about that. I hope this one is colder.”

(The customer takes the drink and tries it.)

Customer: “This is much better! I hope you don’t have any more of those other beers back there. You should put all those in the back of the cooler!”

Related:
Placebo Me, Part 4
Placebo Me, Part 3
Placebo Me, Part 2
Placebo Me

Non Sequitur, Part 2

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | Extra Stupid, Top, Tourists/Travel

(A customer sits down at my poker table. He is clearly high out of his mind.)

Customer: “Hey, man, what’s your sign?”

Me: “Uh…I’m a Leo. What’s yours?”

(The customer thinks about this for a full minute.)

Customer: “I’m a marshmallow.”