The Checkout Line Has Seized Up

, , , , | Working | March 7, 2018

(I am in a supermarket at the tills when the young woman in front of me, about to pay for her goods, suddenly freezes. She stands still and stares into space, down at her purse, which is falling out of her hands. She is standing in front of a plastic wall.)

Cashier: “Excuse me, miss? Excuse me?” *to herself* “P****.” *turns to me* “Can I put your things through? I’ll void her stuff if she’s ignoring me. Self-entitled snowflakes and their phones.”

(I look at the woman carefully and notice she has an epilepsy bracelet.)

Me: “Erm, I think she’s having a seizure.”

Cashier: *condescending, as if to a child* “No, because if she was having a seizure, she’d be on the floor, wouldn’t she?”

Me: “I’m a doctor, madam, and I’d like to get your manager.”

Cashier: “No. She’s a snowflake who’s looking at her phone instead of paying, and she’s holding up the queue.”

Me: *sternly* “Madam, I really do think she’s having a seizure. They don’t all writhe around on the floor.”

(I called the number on the bracelet and the ambulance came within a few minutes. Last I heard, the young woman was fine, but the cashier voided the woman’s shopping AND mine, saying that it was our choice to step out of the queue and that I must be joking if I thought I was getting my shopping back, even though I simply went outside to the ambulance to explain what had been going on.)

1 Thumbs
635

Germaniac, Part 7

, , , , , , | Working | March 4, 2018

(I am buying a bottle of a well-known brand of carbonated water, among other things. The cashier is probably in her 40s or 50s.)

Cashier: *as she’s ringing me up* “How is this different from regular water?”

Me: “It’s just carbonated water.”

Cashier: “Oh, okay. What flavor?”

Me: “No flavor, just water.”

Cashier: “So, it’s just water?”

Me: “Carbonated water. It was served a lot when I lived in Germany, and I really liked it.”

Cashier: “You lived in Germany? Wasn’t that hard?”

Me: “It was pretty fun, actually.”

Cashier: “But they didn’t speak English, did they?”

Me: “A lot of them did, but I also learned a lot of German over there.”

Cashier: “Oh, that sounds so hard. Whenever I hear those languages on TV, it just sounds like noise. I don’t know how anyone understands it.”

Me: *taking my receipt and slowly trying to detach myself from the conversation* “Well, the Germans manage.”

Related:
Germaniac, Part 6
Germaniac, Part 5
Germaniac, Part 4

1 Thumbs
448

Time To Start Stereo-Typing Up Your Resignation

, , , , , , , | Working | March 2, 2018

(My daughter and I are getting ice cream. My daughter orders chocolate, which makes the cashier look concerned. At first I think that they’re maybe out, but she then smiles and shows us to a table. When our ice cream comes, the cashier drops the bowls down and walks off without a single look. My daughter tells me she has been given strawberry ice cream, instead. I take the bowl back to the cashier.)

Me: “Excuse me? You have given my daughter strawberry ice cream. She wanted chocolate. Are you out? She would prefer vanilla, instead.”

Cashier: “No, but I can’t give her chocolate.”

Me: “Why not?”

Cashier: “Because that reinforces her racial stereotypes.”

(I’m a bit dumbfounded by this.)

Me: “So, instead of asking her if she wanted something else, you chose for her?”

Cashier: “Yes. Pink, because she’s a girl.”

Me: “So, reinforcing her gender stereotypes?”

Cashier: “Exactly!”

Me: “Well, since I’m her father, I think I’ll decide what stereotypes she’ll have ‘reinforced’ for the time being. I’m afraid I’m not as keen on this high-concept bull-s*** as many of you young people, so could she please have some chocolate ice cream? Not because she’s black, but because it’s her favourite flavour.”

Cashier: *flustered* “But strawberry is pink!”

Me: “She doesn’t like strawberry, so can she have chocolate, like she asked?”

(She eventually gave my daughter what she wanted, but spent the entire time trying to lecture us whenever she walked by on the importance of gender stereotypes and lesbianism. We left after her third attempt.)

1 Thumbs
663

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 18

, , , , , , | Working | February 26, 2018

(I’m in my late 20s, but because of my size, I am often mistaken for a teenager. A few months prior to this incident, my husband and I decided to start trying to conceive. I’m very excited and immediately go out and buy a pregnancy test. A few weeks later, the test is negative, and I go to the same store to buy a pack of tests. I am checked out by the same cashier, an older woman. When I approach with the tests, she gives me a disgusted look. The following happens:)

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Cashier: “I’m fine… Honey, would you like me to show you where we keep the condoms? They’re not hard to find; they’re in the same aisle as the tests.”

Me: *a little taken aback* “No, thank you.”

(The cashier doesn’t ring out the test. She just looks at me.)

Cashier: “Sweetie, the condoms aren’t too expensive. We have some great options, and it would be a lot better than these constant scares.”

Me: “Oh, it’s not a scare—”

Cashier: *cuts me off* “I saw you a few weeks ago, buying a test. I remember because I said a prayer for you, that you wouldn’t be pregnant.”

Me: *getting angry now* “Well, that’s not a very nice thing to pray for! I want to be pregnant”

Cashier: *looks horrified* “Honey, you don’t want to be pregnant; trust me. You want to finish school, get a job, and find a guy who wants you for more than sex. Make the guy marry you first!”

Me: “Pretty sure this is none of your business, but my husband and I both have well-paying jobs, and a baby would be a blessing. Please ring me out.”

Cashier: “I can’t believe your parents let you get married so young!”

Me: “I’m almost 30. And again, this is none of your business.”

(She finally finished ringing me out, and I had a word with the manager about the incident. He promised to speak to her about it. It’s been two weeks, and when I go back she avoids me like the plague.)

Related:
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 17
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 16
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 15

1 Thumbs
704

Restrained By Corporate Baggage

, , , , , | Working | February 19, 2018

(I’m a rather petite person, so when I go to a fast food place, I order a kid’s meal. This usually isn’t a problem.)

Me: “I’d like a chicken nugget kid’s meal, with a boy’s toy, but can I have it in a normal bag instead of the kid’s meal box?”

Cashier: “But… the kid’s meal comes in the kid’s meal box.”

Me: “Yeah, but can it… not? Just put everything that’s usually in it in a normal bag.”

Cashier: “But the kid’s meal comes in a kid’s meal box.”

(The cashier stares at me with complete distress before turning to talk quietly to a coworker. An employee with a “Manager” nametag walks over.)

Manager: “What’s the problem?”

Me: “I want a kid’s meal, but in a normal bag.”

(The manager looked at the cashier. The cashier looked bewildered and frightened. Without a word, the manager put the entire kid’s meal box in a large standard bag and held it out. I paid and left. Was it really that weird to ask for a kid’s meal in a normal bag?)

1 Thumbs
465