Ice Cream Is Sweet Child Of Mine

, , , , , , | Working | December 21, 2017

(I go into a self-serve frozen yogurt shop, where they let you choose a cup size and then charge by weight. When I go in, there’s a small boy with a huge tub, filling it with every flavor and topping he can find. I get a small cup and finish up pretty quickly. The boy comes to stand next to me at the counter after I have already put my yogurt on the scale.)

Me: “This will be all.”

Cashier: “What about his?”

Me: “Um, he’s not mine.”

Cashier: *laughs*

Me: “I’m not joking. He was here when I came in, and has clearly been at it awhile to fill that giant tub. Did you not see him before?”

Cashier: “Listen, I know it will be pretty expensive, but you have to pay for your son.”

Me: “Yeah, I don’t have any children. He isn’t mine.”

Cashier: “Well, whose else could he be? You’re the only other person in here!”

Me: *quietly* “Which means he has an irresponsible mother, but that mother is not me.”

Cashier: “I’m not letting you leave without paying.”

Me: *sighs, turns to little boy* “Please tell this lady where your mom is.”

Little Boy: *looking very confused* “She’s in the car outside.” *holding up a couple $20 bills* “She gave me this for ice cream!”

Me: “Great, thanks.”

Cashier: *looking absolutely disgusted* “Your total is $3.78. How was I supposed to know he wasn’t with you?”

(I just left. I get that it was a weird situation, but seriously, how did she not see the kid in the tiny shop for what must have been at least ten minutes before I walked in? And why on earth would I lie about not being a child’s mother? Parents of the world, please chaperone your kids. Don’t assume an employee is paying them any attention at all!)

One Draw Closes, Another One Opens

, , , , , | Working | December 20, 2017

(I have just finished paying and am waiting on my change. The cashier closes the register, though, and says goodbye.)

Me: “My change?”

Cashier: “What?”

Me: “My change. You haven’t given it to me.”

Cashier: “Oops, sorry about that.”

(She doesn’t do anything.)

Me: “Could you give it to me, then, please?”

Cashier: “No, that’s not my problem.”

Me: “I think it is. You haven’t given me my money back. If you aren’t willing to fix it, could you call someone over?”

Cashier: “I can call my manager, but he will just tell you the same.”

(She calls him over and explains. The manager face-palms, opens the drawer, and gives me my change.)

Cashier: *blushing* “But you said when the drawer was closed it wasn’t my problem anymore!”

Manager: “No, I said it isn’t a problem if you need to open the drawer. You can either ask me or a head cashier.” *to me* “I am so sorry about this, miss. She’s new. Ha, the youth of today, eh?”

(I mock-laughed with him while giving a cashier a sympathetic look, and saying it really wasn’t that big of a deal. Honestly, though, I looked younger than her, so either she wasn’t too bright or she genuinely misunderstood. Either way, further instruction would have fixed the problem rather than humiliating her.)

Willing To Pay Taupe Dollar

, , , , , , | Working | November 30, 2017

(I am checking out at a bookstore which offers throw blankets at a reduced price if you spend enough on other purchases. The blankets, all of which are shades of brown or grey, are on three shelves behind the cashier. Neither of us is stupid in this story; it’s just a miscommunication.)

Cashier: “Would you like to buy one of our throw blankets today? It would only be $29.”

Me: “Yes, I would, actually.” *pointing* “I’ll take one of the top ones.”

Cashier: *looking confused* “Top? Is that how you pronounce it?”

Me: *looking equally confused* “Yes?”

Cashier: *reaching for a blanket from the top shelf* “We’ve been saying ‘taupe.’”

Some People Can’t Change That Much In One Go

, , , , , , , | Working | November 24, 2017

(I run to the grocery store with $40 budget money in my pocket. I must have added something incorrectly because the total comes to $40.35.)

Me: *to the mentally distant cashier* “Oh, well, I only brought $40. So . . . I guess I can go ahead and put that $0.35 on my debit card.” *awkward smile as I hold out the card*

(The cashier, clearly not paying attention to a word I said, grabs my $40 and keys in some numbers, and the register pops open, then she looks at me, confused as to why I’m standing there handing her my card. She looks back at the monitor and sees that it’s telling her to give me $3,999.65 in change. She looks back at me, worried for some reason.)

Me: *maintaining awkward smile, holding my card*

Cashier: *looks at monitor, looks back at me, very confused*

Me: “I still have $0.35 to pay.”

Cashier: “I’ll… I can take care of that for you. Have a nice day.” *closes register*

(I should have demanded my change, I guess.)

A Baker’s Dozen Reasons For Going Out Of Business

, , , , , , | Working | November 21, 2017

(I drop in at a bakery with some friends.)

Us: “Hi, we’d like a dozen cookies.”

Cashier: “Orders of 12 or more have to wait 20 minutes for new cookies to bake.”

Us: “Well, how about 11?”

Cashier: “Still have to wait.”

Us: “10, 9?”

Cashier: “…”

(So, we waited, but the joke’s on the bakery, because none of us will be back. Turns out the cookies from across the street were better, anyway. What kind of bakery has a wait for a dozen cookies, bagels, cupcakes, etc?)

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