Germaniac, Part 7

, , , , , , | Working | March 4, 2018

(I am buying a bottle of a well-known brand of carbonated water, among other things. The cashier is probably in her 40s or 50s.)

Cashier: *as she’s ringing me up* “How is this different from regular water?”

Me: “It’s just carbonated water.”

Cashier: “Oh, okay. What flavor?”

Me: “No flavor, just water.”

Cashier: “So, it’s just water?”

Me: “Carbonated water. It was served a lot when I lived in Germany, and I really liked it.”

Cashier: “You lived in Germany? Wasn’t that hard?”

Me: “It was pretty fun, actually.”

Cashier: “But they didn’t speak English, did they?”

Me: “A lot of them did, but I also learned a lot of German over there.”

Cashier: “Oh, that sounds so hard. Whenever I hear those languages on TV, it just sounds like noise. I don’t know how anyone understands it.”

Me: *taking my receipt and slowly trying to detach myself from the conversation* “Well, the Germans manage.”

Related:
Germaniac, Part 6
Germaniac, Part 5
Germaniac, Part 4

Time To Start Stereo-Typing Up Your Resignation

, , , , , , , | Working | March 2, 2018

(My daughter and I are getting ice cream. My daughter orders chocolate, which makes the cashier look concerned. At first I think that they’re maybe out, but she then smiles and shows us to a table. When our ice cream comes, the cashier drops the bowls down and walks off without a single look. My daughter tells me she has been given strawberry ice cream, instead. I take the bowl back to the cashier.)

Me: “Excuse me? You have given my daughter strawberry ice cream. She wanted chocolate. Are you out? She would prefer vanilla, instead.”

Cashier: “No, but I can’t give her chocolate.”

Me: “Why not?”

Cashier: “Because that reinforces her racial stereotypes.”

(I’m a bit dumbfounded by this.)

Me: “So, instead of asking her if she wanted something else, you chose for her?”

Cashier: “Yes. Pink, because she’s a girl.”

Me: “So, reinforcing her gender stereotypes?”

Cashier: “Exactly!”

Me: “Well, since I’m her father, I think I’ll decide what stereotypes she’ll have ‘reinforced’ for the time being. I’m afraid I’m not as keen on this high-concept bull-s*** as many of you young people, so could she please have some chocolate ice cream? Not because she’s black, but because it’s her favourite flavour.”

Cashier: *flustered* “But strawberry is pink!”

Me: “She doesn’t like strawberry, so can she have chocolate, like she asked?”

(She eventually gave my daughter what she wanted, but spent the entire time trying to lecture us whenever she walked by on the importance of gender stereotypes and lesbianism. We left after her third attempt.)

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 18

, , , , , , | Working | February 26, 2018

(I’m in my late 20s, but because of my size, I am often mistaken for a teenager. A few months prior to this incident, my husband and I decided to start trying to conceive. I’m very excited and immediately go out and buy a pregnancy test. A few weeks later, the test is negative, and I go to the same store to buy a pack of tests. I am checked out by the same cashier, an older woman. When I approach with the tests, she gives me a disgusted look. The following happens:)

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Cashier: “I’m fine… Honey, would you like me to show you where we keep the condoms? They’re not hard to find; they’re in the same aisle as the tests.”

Me: *a little taken aback* “No, thank you.”

(The cashier doesn’t ring out the test. She just looks at me.)

Cashier: “Sweetie, the condoms aren’t too expensive. We have some great options, and it would be a lot better than these constant scares.”

Me: “Oh, it’s not a scare—”

Cashier: *cuts me off* “I saw you a few weeks ago, buying a test. I remember because I said a prayer for you, that you wouldn’t be pregnant.”

Me: *getting angry now* “Well, that’s not a very nice thing to pray for! I want to be pregnant”

Cashier: *looks horrified* “Honey, you don’t want to be pregnant; trust me. You want to finish school, get a job, and find a guy who wants you for more than sex. Make the guy marry you first!”

Me: “Pretty sure this is none of your business, but my husband and I both have well-paying jobs, and a baby would be a blessing. Please ring me out.”

Cashier: “I can’t believe your parents let you get married so young!”

Me: “I’m almost 30. And again, this is none of your business.”

(She finally finished ringing me out, and I had a word with the manager about the incident. He promised to speak to her about it. It’s been two weeks, and when I go back she avoids me like the plague.)

Related:
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 17
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 16
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 15

Restrained By Corporate Baggage

, , , , , | Working | February 19, 2018

(I’m a rather petite person, so when I go to a fast food place, I order a kid’s meal. This usually isn’t a problem.)

Me: “I’d like a chicken nugget kid’s meal, with a boy’s toy, but can I have it in a normal bag instead of the kid’s meal box?”

Cashier: “But… the kid’s meal comes in the kid’s meal box.”

Me: “Yeah, but can it… not? Just put everything that’s usually in it in a normal bag.”

Cashier: “But the kid’s meal comes in a kid’s meal box.”

(The cashier stares at me with complete distress before turning to talk quietly to a coworker. An employee with a “Manager” nametag walks over.)

Manager: “What’s the problem?”

Me: “I want a kid’s meal, but in a normal bag.”

(The manager looked at the cashier. The cashier looked bewildered and frightened. Without a word, the manager put the entire kid’s meal box in a large standard bag and held it out. I paid and left. Was it really that weird to ask for a kid’s meal in a normal bag?)

A Galaxy Of Troubles

, , , , | Working | February 15, 2018

(I have ordered the new Samsung Galaxy S8. It arrives and, despite my protests that I know how to set it up, the cashier is adamant that he do it for me. He walks around the counter and takes the phone out of the box in front of me. Lo and behold, he opens it upside down and the phone falls flat on the floor, face-down. Everyone gasps and he tries to recover the situation by playing it off. While I doubt there is any real damage, I’m less than keen on accepting the phone now. He tries to convince me to keep take it because “I’ll just end up breaking it anyway.” I refuse, and a manager gets involved.)

Manager: “Again?! This is the sixth one today!”

Cashier: “But there’s nothing wrong with it!”

Me: “Sorry, but I haven’t even touched it. I know it might be a bit pompous, but—”

Manager: “No, no. It’s all right. I wouldn’t think of selling one that has been damaged in-store. No one accepted their phones either…” *mumbles to himself* “Two iPhones, two Nexus, an HTC, and now a Galaxy!”

(He apologises to me and offers that I take the phone that he ordered for himself. I decline and just reorder another, but he gives me a discount on a case and screen protection. As I leave…)

Manager: “[Cashier], if you must open them, please, I say, please open them over a table, at least. I can’t keep sending phones back!”

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