Scammers Talk In A Different Toner, Part 2

, , , , | Working | May 28, 2018

(We have been receiving calls from sales people claiming they are our printer vendor, but we don’t have a printer vendor so it’s easy to pick these out as a sales calls. They claim they just need the model of our printer to make sure they bring the right toner. After receiving multiple calls from these guys one week, I decide to start messing with them.)

Caller: “Hey, I’m [Caller], your vendor with [Company] for your printer. Can you give me the model number of the printer? I want to make sure I have the right toner.”

Me: “If you are the vendor for our printer, shouldn’t you already know what the model is?”

Caller: “Hey, I’m right outside; I’m just needing to confirm that model.”

Me: “You are outside the building?”

Caller: “Yeah, I’m just trying to confirm the model.”

Me: “I don’t see you.”

Caller: “What?”

Me: “I’m outside, too, and I don’t see you.”

Caller: “I’m just trying to get that model number.”

Me: “Do you see me waving? I’m right here!”

Caller: “Hey, I’m… Wait, what?”

Me: “Wait, are you in a van? I think I see you. You are going the wrong way! Come back! That is the wrong direction. I’m over here!”

Caller: “I… um…” *click*

(It’s at this point I notice half the office is looking at me.)

Coworker: “Well, I guess [Company] won’t be calling for a while. Good job.”

Scammers Talk In A Different Toner

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Laughing With The Power Of 3G

, , , , , , | Related | January 24, 2018

(My younger sister and I go to the theater. Said theater serves beer, and I order one for the novelty of the experience. I have just gathered up my soda, beer, and popcorn, and realize that I can’t remember where we are supposed to sit. Having just gotten everything situated in my hands so I don’t drop it, I don’t want to set it down to check my ticket.)

Me: “Hey, pull out your ticket and see what seat you have.”

Sister: “G4.”

Me: “That means I’m in G3.”

Sister: “All right! Let’s go find that G-spot!”

(I ended up having to set all my stuff down, anyway, because I was laughing so hard.)

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Fresh Out Of Common Sense

, , , , | Right | November 14, 2017

(A woman orders an Americano, which is just espresso and water, and requests room for cream. As I am making the drink, I see her clearly pouring the cream pitcher.)

Me: “Is everything all right over there?”

Customer: *furiously wiping cream from counter* “Oh, yes. I was just checking to see if the cream was fresh! I hate when it’s been sitting out for like, five hours!”

Me: “Um… Next time, you could just ask!”

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