Laughing With The Power Of 3G

, , , , , , | Related | January 24, 2018

(My younger sister and I go to the theater. Said theater serves beer, and I order one for the novelty of the experience. I have just gathered up my soda, beer, and popcorn, and realize that I can’t remember where we are supposed to sit. Having just gotten everything situated in my hands so I don’t drop it, I don’t want to set it down to check my ticket.)

Me: “Hey, pull out your ticket and see what seat you have.”

Sister: “G4.”

Me: “That means I’m in G3.”

Sister: “All right! Let’s go find that G-spot!”

(I ended up having to set all my stuff down, anyway, because I was laughing so hard.)

Fresh Out Of Common Sense

, , , , | Right | November 14, 2017

(A woman orders an Americano, which is just espresso and water, and requests room for cream. As I am making the drink, I see her clearly pouring the cream pitcher.)

Me: “Is everything all right over there?”

Customer: *furiously wiping cream from counter* “Oh, yes. I was just checking to see if the cream was fresh! I hate when it’s been sitting out for like, five hours!”

Me: “Um… Next time, you could just ask!”