A group of friends and I are into the alternative fashion style — big boots, Gothic dresses, lace, and corsets. We go into a popular high street store as I am getting married and we need some classy, normal-style dresses for bridesmaid dresses.

As soon as we walk into the shop, we are watched by a member of the staff who stands glaring at us from the counter. Whenever we pick up a dress to look at it, she moves closer to us, glaring. Keep in mind that there are six in the group in different sizes all looking to get the same style of dress. She doesn’t offer to help, stops other staff from helping us, and just stands there glaring.

We find dresses in the same style that can fit all six and go and ask to try them on. She snatches the dresses from our hands says, “These won’t suit you or even fit, and I doubt you can afford them, either.” These dresses cost £75 each and there are six of us. I am paying for them all and in cash. I was prepared to pay out over £500 for all of the dresses, so I have this cash on me.

I pulled the cash out, show the staff member, and say, “You mean this money?” Her whole attitude changes and she becomes very helpful. We all exchange a look. I say, “Because of your poor customer service we have changed our mind,” and we just walk out, leaving her to put away six dresses. If she had been nicer and less suspicious of us, she would have made a big sale.

(I work in a large call center for an international grocery store. It’s my first week, and I’ve just finished helping an old lady with her query.)

Customer: “Thank you so much, young man! I have to ask though, young man, do you believe in our Lord Jesus Christ?”

(I remember back to my training, where I was told to avoid all religious discussion.)

Me: “I don’t think that’s relevant to me helping you today, ma’am. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “Now, young man! I need to know if I was helped by a Christian or by a heathen!”

(I look over to my supervisor, who’s been listening in to the whole conversation. He gives me a thumbs up and a wink.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I am an atheist.”

Customer: “Heathen! You will burn in Hell if you do not accept the Lord as your savior! I demand to speak to your supervisor at once!“

Me: “I’ll be glad to do that for you, ma’am. Give me a moment.”

(From this point on, I can only hear my supervisor speaking…)

Supervisor: “Yes, ma’am, I hear you have a complaint about one of my employees?” *pause* “I see.” *pause* “That’s terrible.” *pause* “I apologise, ma’am, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to terminate the call. I’ve just been told it is time for our hourly sacrifice to Satan.”

(The woman’s response is loud enough for me to hear over his headset.)

Customer: “HEATHENS!” *click*

(My parents and I are getting ready to go to a wedding in my parents’ city. I live a few hours away, so I pack late the night before and come down early in the morning. I happen to own a couple of pairs of the same kind of shoe. When it’s time to leave for the wedding, I pluck my shoes out of my bag and realise that in my haste, I packed the right shoe from both pairs. My mum leaps into action to see if she can find a spare pair from when I used to live there. In the meantime…)

Dad: “What’s going on?”

Me: “I packed two right shoes.”

(I expect him to get mad because we need to leave, but instead he frowns at me, confused.)

Dad: “Is this a family trait?”

Me: “Eh?”

Dad: “Your sister did the exact same thing a few days ago when she was going out.”

Me: “Really?”

Dad: “Yes. What is it with you two?”

(He sends my sister a message telling her what I did. A little while later…)

Dad: “Your sister says she wasn’t as bad as you; she took a right and a left. They were just from different pairs.”

Me: “Wait, at least mine makes sense because I own two pairs of the same shoes and mixed them up. How is getting two shoes from different pairs better?”

Dad: “To be honest, you’re both as bad as each other.”

(I work in an online store that sells ‘Magic: The Gathering’ cards. It is almost Christmas.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help?”

Boy: *sounds about 15* “Hi, I’m building a deck for a Christmas tournament tomorrow, and the shop that I ordered the cards from has just told me that they are out of [Card]. It’s sold out everywhere, even on your site. I don’t want to be that guy, but do you have any in stock that were not loaded onto the website?”

Me: “I’ll check for you.”

(Sure enough, I find we have some.)

Me: “Good news: we do! You can check them out on the website. If you choose the international shipping option, I’ll use a courier service; it should be there tomorrow.”

Boy: “Thank you so much. You are a lifesaver!”

(Three days later, I got a package. It was a box of chocolates, a picture of the boy holding a trophy, and a note: “Thank you so much! I managed to come first. Enjoy these!” I love my job.)

(I buy some leggings that are 50% off of the original price of £8. There is something wrong with the tills, so the cashiers have to work stuff out on calculators. I am dumbfounded when the girl starts using her calculator to figure out 50% of £8.)

Cashier: “Um… That’s £7.84, please.”

Me: “No, that’s not right.”

Cashier: “50% off is £7.84.”

Me: “No, it should be £4.”

(The cashier takes her calculator and shows me how she worked it out. She divided 800 by 50 and took the answer, 16, off the £8.)

Me: “That’s not how you work out percentages. 50% is half; half of 8 is 4.”

Cashier: *pauses* “I think you’re right, actually. Sorry. That’s £4, please.”

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Not In The Top Percentile