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Karma’s Working Overtime Today

, , , , , , , | Legal | September 8, 2021

My husband and I are volunteer firefighters and EMTs in a rural area of Tennessee. We respond to a 911 call from a VERY scared teenage girl who has run her car into a ditch on a one-lane rural road during a period of very bad thunderstorms.

When we arrive on the call, the young lady’s father is already there, screaming his lungs out at his daughter for putting the car in the ditch. The poor girl is in hysterics, pleading with her father to stop yelling at her. I did the same thing in my husband’s brand-new Lexus SUV at that exact same spot on that road about eight hours ago, so we both have a lot of sympathy for her.

My husband and I confront the father after we make sure that the girl is okay physically. My husband speaks to the father in his VERY loud retired Marine Corps drill sergeant voice.

Husband: “Excuse me, sir! Why are you yelling at your poor daughter over an accident that she probably couldn’t control?! We have been getting calls all day for accidents on this road due to the weather!”

Father: “She should have known better than to travel that fast during this weather! She may have damaged the car that she just bought! Kids shouldn’t make mistakes like that!”

We notice that the car is a roughly twenty-year-old Buick sedan.

Husband: “Yeah, so? My wife did the same thing at this exact spot this morning in my brand-new Lexus, and she had to call a tow truck to get it out. The running board was damaged, but it isn’t a big deal.”

Father: “Your wife must be very stupid to make a mistake like that!”

My husband is getting VERY angry.

Husband: “My wife is forty and she has driven tour busses accident-free since she was twenty-five! Everyone makes mistakes! There was oil on this part of the road when my wife went off the road and that, combined with the wet road and the huge bump in the road, would cause anyone to lose control of their vehicle! Your daughter is just a kid; go easy on her! I am a retired Marine Corps drill sergeant, and I would never be that hard on someone over an honest mistake!”

A sheriff’s deputy arrives and he immediately confronts the father.

Deputy: *To the father* “Calm down! She just needs a tow truck to get her out. I have already called one. It doesn’t appear that she hit the ditch very fast. The worst-case scenario is that the undercarriage is scratched and there are some scratches and minor dents to the body, which I wouldn’t be worried about on a vehicle this old. This could literally happen to anyone!”

The father starts sputtering and the tow truck arrives. The tow truck driver is a high school friend of my husband, and the driver is also an ASE-certified mechanic. The tow truck driver gets the car out of the ditch and looks for obvious mechanical issues on the car. He finds a bunch of minor scratches to the side of the car that hit the ditch and a few scratches underneath, but the car is still drivable.

Tow Truck Driver: *To the father* “The car is perfectly fine to drive! She made a mistake. So what? It’s just a dang car! Get over it! In fact, I am not going to even charge her for the tow because of the way that you are acting! The poor girl doesn’t need any more grief! The car going off the road is probably enough to make her be more attentive when she is on this road!”

The father angrily gets in his own car and starts to drive away extremely fast. The next thing we know, HE ends up losing control when HIS car hits a puddle of water, putting his car in that same ditch about 300 feet down the road. We all go down to check on him and the sheriff’s deputy starts talking to him.

Deputy: *To the father* “You were just yelling at your daughter for the same thing? Based on what you said to your daughter, you must be a first-rate moron! We all told you that it could happen to anyone!”

My husband’s friend pulled the father’s car out of the ditch, and the father had actually hit the ditch so fast that he tore out his brake lines, ripped off part of his front bumper, broke the side view mirror, AND caused numerous dents and scratches to the right side of his car. The father was completely fine physically but looked EXTREMELY embarrassed. My husband’s friend said that the damage would easily cost at least $6,000 to fix and the car could possibly be totaled due to the age of the car. We all hope that he learned his lesson for yelling at his daughter over a minor mistake.

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Hands-Free, Brain-Free

, , , , | Related | September 8, 2021

I’m driving back from the first day of my first ever job. As I’m sixteen, I’m still a very new driver. Between both of my parents having their own cars, their own work schedules, and the fact that we have a very narrow driveway, we have to shuffle cars around a lot in the evening so we aren’t getting up earlier in the morning. 

I call my dad via the hands-free option on my car when I’m only a few minutes out so he isn’t scrambling to come out to move his car for me.

Dad: “Oh, you’re calling me for this? Why don’t you just text me like your mother?”

Me: “…”

Dad: “Never mind, I’ll be ready when you get here.” *Click*

In my mother’s defense, she has a smartwatch she uses speech-to-text on, but still!

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Luckily, This Lieutenant Dan Has Legs

, , , , , , | Working | September 1, 2021

I’m in the Royal Canadian Navy. There is a young officer in my unit whom we shall call Lt. Dan. I’m a senior NCO, Petty Officer First Class — for American readers, this is NATO OR-7, not OR-6). I don’t work for Lt. Dan directly, but we cross paths pretty regularly during the day, so we know each other to talk to. He’s a bit on the loud and brash side, but I’ve certainly worked for and with worse.

Lt. Dan’s car is in the shop being worked on, and on Friday, he gets a call around stand-easy saying it’s ready, so out in the smoker, he asks me if I can give him a lift. I don’t have a problem with that since it’s more or less on the way home for me anyway. Traffic is always heavy when the dockyard lets out and even worse on Fridays, and I’m stuck behind someone who wants to turn left across a stream of oncoming traffic. This is when the fun starts.

Lt. Dan: “F*** me, what’s his a**hole’s problem? Give him a honk; get his a** moving.”

Me: “Gotta wait for a break in traffic.”

Lt. Dan: “Well, pull around him, then!”

There’s a bike lane but it’s certainly not car-wide. Besides… it’s a bike lane. With people riding bikes in it.

Me: “No can do, sir.”

Left-turn man gets his break in the traffic, and we move on.

Next, it’s the stop-and-go coming up to the bridge ramp, and Lt. Dan is unhappy because traffic is merging and that means taking turns. He thinks that I should just push through and not let anyone in. On the bridge, every other driver annoys him in some manner, including someone who signals and then changes lanes. I’m getting annoyed with Lt. Dan, and once we clear the toll booth on the far side, I pull over.

Me: “Get out, sir.”

Lt. Dan: “What? Why?”

Me: “You’ve done nothing but b**** about my driving and other drivers and I’ve had enough. We’re about three klicks from the shop; you can walk or take a taxi.”

Lt. Dan: “You can’t just kick me out here; that’s illegal!”

Me: “That’s bull, sir. I’m not a taxi service; I can kick you where I feel like it. I was ready to kick you out in the middle of the bridge, but that would’ve been illegal.”

Lt. Dan: “You want to be charged for insubordination?”

Me: “Not particularly, sir, but you do you. Meanwhile, are you getting out or do I get one of the bridge police to come over?”

He got out with very bad grace and further threats of disciplinary action. I left him there to make his way to his car and thought no more of it.

It turned out that he really was daft enough to pursue it, as I got called into the coxswain’s office on Monday. (For US readers, the coxswain of a Canadian ship is the most senior NCO onboard — what you would call the Command Master Chief.)

The coxswain was already dubious about the story as presented by Lt. Dan, and my side of things pretty much cemented the matter being dropped. Needless to say, Lt. Dan does not get rides from senior NCOs at this unit any longer. The lesson here is to never piss off the chiefs and POs.

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Skip Straight To June

, , , , , , | Related | August 30, 2021

I live in Massachusetts and my boyfriend lives in Washington. I’m visiting him and we are close enough to Seattle to make a day trip. When a cashier sees our nerdy shirts, he lets us know that PAX East is going on. We go to check it out, but are denied entry. I don’t remember why anymore; I think the venue hit capacity. However, there are a few booths set up outside the official entry to the con, one of them for the musician Jonathan Coulton. I buy a CD and get it signed, my husband gets a few car decals, and then we leave.

After the flight back to Massachusetts, my mom picks me up and I put in the CD to listen to. We enjoy the songs and talk over them a few times, until we get to a song called “First Of May.” It is cute, so we are both paying attention to it, but then the lyrics take on a very different tone.

Lyrics: “’Cause it’s the first of May, first of May, outdoor f****** starts today, so bring your favorite lady, or at least your favorite lay.”

My mom and I are both shocked. I haven’t listened to the whole CD yet, so I am caught completely off guard and hide my face.

Mom: *In a scolding tone* “Jonathan Coulton! What would your mother think?!”

I couldn’t help laughing at her, but we decided not to listen to the song all the way through and skipped to the next song.

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Not Just A Walk In The Park(ing Lot)

, , , , , | Friendly | August 25, 2021

I’m at the store, and I head back to my car and instantly see an issue. The car next to me has parked diagonally in the space; it’s actually partially in three different spaces. It’s not a big car and the spaces aren’t small; the driver just looks to be a selfish a**.

As I approach, the car door opens, and yes, the driver lets it rest on my car.

Me: “Close your door.”

Woman: “Oh, I’m so sorry!”

I struggle to squeeze past to get to the driver’s side.

Woman: “Am I in the way?”

She just watches me struggle past her car.

Me: “What do you think?!”

Woman: “Can you get out okay?”

I ignore her and get in the car. I haven’t shut my door yet.

Woman: “Some people are so rude.”

Me: “If that’s how you park a car going forward, don’t do me any favours and reverse anywhere near me.”

She stood there with her hands on her hips giving me a death glare, and then she turned around only to walk into the road and into the path of an oncoming car. It stopped and, of course, she started to shout at the driver.

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