(We are driving past the university, which has a farm.)

Fiancée: “What’s that smell?”

Me: “Cows from the farm at the university.”

Fiancée: “Why do they have cows?”

Me: “For the veterinarians.”

Fiancée: “Why would they have cows for vegetarians?!”

(Dad has taken us on a drive along old forestry and mining tracks through bush-land to see if he could find an old abandoned town-site. We get lost. I am 11 years old and recently started Girl Guides. )

Dad: “We’ll turn here and hope it leads us out. All these tracks look the same. I know we have to go up to get out.”

Me: “Can you stop so I can get out? I want to try something I read in my Girl Guide book.”

Dad: “No.”

Me: “Please?”

Dad: “Oh, okay. Make it quick. Just a waste time anyway.”

(I get out and gather a few stones, building a small cache by the side of the car. We drive for about 10 minutes coming to another turn leading up.)

Dad: “I’m sure this is it. We turn here.”

(I look down to see my pile of stones by the side of the road.)

Me: “We’ve been this way. There are my stones.”

Dad: “What? But we go up to get out. The other way leads us down. Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes.”

Dad: “Okay. We’ll go down then.”

(The road led down and then up, taking us out of the area. We’d been going in circles.)

(My mother is a crazy driver. She is driving on a particularly bumpy road. I receive a text from my sister whom is sitting next to me in the backseat.)

Text: “JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!”

(My mom and I are sitting in the car when a big group of cyclists pass. A few seconds later, a few who are lagging behind pass as well.)

Mom: “Those are the ones that get eaten by lions in the wild.”

(I’m getting a ride from a married couple I know, with the wife driving and husband giving directions. At one point it becomes clear that we’re going in the wrong direction.)

Wife: “Why did you give us wrong directions, [Husband]?”

Husband: “Well, why did you trust my directions? We’ve been married for 30 years. You should know by now that I’m dumb as a rock!”