Be Thankful For Spouses With Senses Of Humor

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Romantic | November 24, 2011

(My husband and I have a running joke that he (accidentally) calls me fat. Often, it requires a lot of imagination to get the quote to fit. This takes place as we’re on the way home from Thanksgiving dinner.)

Me: “We have a lot to feel thankful for this year, don’t we?”

Him: “Yeah, we do–but sweetheart, you’re the biggest thing I’m thankful for.”

(It’s clear that he’s meant the remark to be romantic.)

Me: “…did you just call me fat?”

Him: “Oh s***!”

Rose-Colored Glasses For The Perpetually Classless

| Canada | Romantic | November 9, 2011

(My husband is scraping the ice off of the windshield of our car, while I am sitting inside of it. He takes off his glove and draws a heart shape in the frost on the window with his finger. After he finishes scraping, he gets back into the car.)

Me: “Awww, thanks for the romantic heart drawing!”

Husband: “Oh…well, they were supposed to be balls.”

Guilty Of Perpetrating A Prank

| Arnolds Park, IA, USA | Romantic | November 2, 2011

(I have just been in a minor car accident and am on the phone with the local police department.)

Me: “Hi. I’ve just been rear-ended and need someone to come fill out an accident report.”

Officer: “Really? No, you weren’t.”

Me: “Um…yes…I was.”

Officer: “No…you weren’t.”

Me: “Yes…I was.”

(This back and forth continues for a bit.)

Officer: “Wait. What was your name?”

Me: *states name*

Officer: “Oh, my god! I’m so sorry! I thought you were my wife prank calling me! Someone will be right out!

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Caught In A Recession Romance

, | Virginia, USA | Romantic | October 29, 2011

(My boyfriend and I have been caught by the police for having a little too much fun in his parked car. As part of the requisite talking-to while we are putting on our clothes, the officer gives him the following advice…)

Police Officer: “Man, this is a nice girl.”

Boyfriend: “I-I know.”

Police Officer: “You can’t treat her like this. You can’t take her to a parking lot. You gotta take her someplace nice.”

Boyfriend: “Like what?”

Police Officer: “Like the Econo-Lodge.”

Not A Pretty Slight

| Toronto, Canada | Romantic | September 22, 2011

(At the grocery store, a boy at the seafood counter is very flirty and smiling constantly. Here’s what happens when I return to the car with my boyfriend.)

Me: “Jesus, baby, the guy in there was looking at me like I was the prettiest girl in the world!”

Boyfriend: “Must have been a slow day!”

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