(I am a booth girl at a car wash: I tell customers about our products, mark their choice, and give them a ticket. There is a giant 4′ by 2′ sign on my booth that lists everything in detail.)

Me: “Hi, can I suggest our Premier package today?”

Customer: “How much does it cost?”

Me: *motions towards board* “$16.95.”

Customer: “What comes with it?”

Me: *motions to board again, listing options*

Customer: “What’s the difference between that and the number 2?”

Me: *motions third time, lists options*

Customer: “What about the number 2 and number 1? Does number 3 come with the clean car guarantee? Is there an oversize charge for my Denali?”

(ALL of this is listed in huge letters right in front of her face. She finally makes a decision.)

Customer: “I’ll take the number 3, but I don’t want any wax.”

Me: “No problem, I’ll mark your window to let them know to skip the wax.”

Customer: “I sure hope they read!”

Me: *ultimate facepalm*

This story is part of our Even-More-Bad-Drivers roundup!

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(An elderly woman drives up in her Mercedes and asks about our services.)

Woman: *in her Mercedes, after hearing prices* “These car washes aren’t expensive enough!” *drives away*

Manager: “I would’ve charged her more if she asked.”

This story is part of the Peculiar Customers roundup!

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Customer: “Yes, how much is your ‘four dollar car wash?'”

Me: “It’s four dollars, ma’am.”