(I am a greeter at a very large car wash, and we are about to close early because it’s been pouring down rain all day. A customer approaches.)

Me: “Hi there, sir. How are you today?”

Customer: “Are you guys still open?”

Me: “Yes, but we will likely be closing soon because of the storm.”

Customer: “I don’t even know why you guys opened up today! Who in their right mind would get their car washed on a day like this?”

(The customer then proceeded to purchase an exterior car wash.)

(As my three other coworkers are drying cars off outside, an older man and a boy around five years old walk up to our blow dryers inside and look in. After finishing up the car we are drying, I approach them to see if they need anything.)

Older Man: “See? That’s what the dryers look like.”

Young Boy: “Th-that… is so… coo-cool!”

(They both see me coming over.)

Older Man: “Hello there, young lady! My grandson would like to know what the dryers feel like. Can he go in there for a moment?”

(I glance at the child, who is bouncing up and down at the moment, and it is obvious to me now that he has some sort of disorder.)

Me: “I wouldn’t recommend it; those dryers are extremely powerful and loud. Especially with cars coming through, it’s very dangerous to be in there right now. You can stand out here and observe, but don’t go in, please.”

(At this point, another car has arrived at the outside drying station, so I run back to help. As the car pulls away, the blow dryers turn on for the next car. All of a sudden, a loud scream is heard. We all glance over to see the boy standing in the middle of the dryers, clutching his hands to his ears and screaming. He isn’t moving out of the way of an approaching truck. I sprint over, pick him up, and get him outside. The grandpa appears from around the corner.)

Older Man: “DON’T TOUCH MY GRANDCHILD! What do you think you’re doing?!”

(I immediately put the boy out of harm’s way and back off, just as the giant truck comes out.)

Me: “He was standing in the middle of the dryers! Why didn’t you stop him?”

Older Man: “I let him go in there while I grabbed my phone out of my car!”

Me: “You let him? Even though I just got done telling you how dangerous that is?!”

Older Man: “It’s not dangerous; it’s just a large hair dryer, duh. I should be asking you what gave you the right to pick him up!”

Me: “Sir, those dryers are meant for cars, not people. It’s more similar to an airplane engine than a hair dryer. Besides, your grandson was about to be run over and sucked into the conveyor belt below. And he was screaming and crying from the noise, as well.”

Older Man: “No, you were assaulting him! I will sue you for this!”

Me: “…”

(My mom and I go to a car wash and upon entering, this is what we hear.)

Female Worker: *to a car that started backing up* “NO, THIS WAY!”

(Car starts moving forward.)

Female Worker: “NO, NO, TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF THE STEERING WHEEL!”

(Car continues moving forward.)

Female Worker: “STAY ON THE TRACK… NOOOO, DON’T TURN YOUR WHEELS TO THE LEFT!

(Car stops and they proceed to clean it.)

Female Worker: “GOOOOOO!”

(I’m with two of my sisters helping to vacuum out the elder’s car. While she’s doing this I see a machine that sells air fresheners cheaply and try to buy one.)

Older Sister: “[My Name], what are you doing?”

Me: “Trying to buy an air freshener… Darn it!”

Younger Sister: “What?”

Me: “Stupid machine stole my quarter!”

(My younger sister looks dead at the machine.)

Younger Sister: “Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your creator! Dishonor on your cow!

(Never did get back my quarter, but it was worth the laugh when the guy spraying down his truck nearby gave my sister a clear ‘WTF’ look.)

(I work at a very popular car wash. On a busy day, we can reach a volume of over a thousand customers. We only have five vacuums, which are free during business hours, and $1.00 after close. Due to wet paint, we close one vacuum, which includes shutting the power to that individual vacuum off completely, posting signs on the vacuum AND on the trash can which we placed in front of it, and taping it off. Despite this, a customer attempts to use it anyway. It won’t turn on, so she walks up to the building.)

Customer: “May I have change for a dollar?”

Me: *knowing why she’s asking* “Of course, but are you needing change for a vacuum?”

Customer: *points to the one that’s closed* “Yes! That vacuum won’t turn on!”

Me: “That’s because it’s been shut off.”

Customer: “But I need to vacuum out my car. I already parked there and got out and walked all the way over here!”

Me: “There are signs that say it’s out of order.”

Customer: “I didn’t see them!”

Me: “You didn’t see that it’s been cordoned off, the trash can in front of it to prevent people from parking there, or the signs that state ‘Out of Order’?”

Customer: “You know what?! I’ll go somewhere else!”

Me: “Have a nice day!”

Related:
Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 4
Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 3
Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 2
Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum