I work at a car wash.

Customer: “Excuse me! I just thought I would let you know that the vacuum isn’t working. I would like the seventy-five cents it took back.”

Me: “The one with the out-of-order sign?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “The one with the tape over the coin slot that had to be removed before putting any money in?”

Customer: *Huffy* “Yes! Do you have a point?”

Me: “Just checking. Let me get that refund for you.”

I work at an automatic car wash/detail shop. Our car wash is set up where we send the car down a tunnel where it is washed, and the employees hand dry the car after it goes through the tunnel.

Today, it’s just pouring rain outside and some guy thinks it’s a good idea to get his car washed in what is basically a tornado. We wash the car, pull it out of the tunnel up to the front door, and tell the guy his car is ready.

As he is getting ready to get in his car — it’s still pouring, mind you — he looks at me and asks:

Customer: “Why didn’t you guys dry it?”

I shook my head and walked away.

I had a customer come into the gas station where I worked, yelling and cursing because he had bought a ninety-day pass for our car wash, and it was out of order for the second time in a week. He was berating me about getting his money back or getting the car wash open while I tried to explain that there was nothing I could do for him (because I couldn’t refund a previous day’s sales or fix the car wash myself). I was the only staff on hand at the time.

He was getting frustrated and proceeded to point to his car parked outside — a Mercedes SLS AMG — as he yelled:

Customer: “Do you see that car out there? That’s a $200,000 vehicle! I can have this place shut down!“

I guess I was more surprised than anything because I laughed right in his face.

Me: “Do you honestly believe that’s a reasonable course of action?”

He didn’t seem to know what to say to that and deflated pretty fast. It felt good to shut down someone who was being unreasonable and childish with just a calm and cool-headed reply.

I worked at a car wash in college. A competitor a half-mile down the road offered a deal where you bought a $15 car wash, and your next wash was half off.

Customer: “Will you honor this half-off coupon from [Competitor]? You shouldn’t be willing to lose a sale when I can just take my business elsewhere.”

Even after I explained how silly it was to expect a discount when you haven’t spent any money there initially, she still doubled down that I shouldn’t be willing to lose a sale.

Me: “Ma’am, if you want the discounted rate, you can go to the business that sold you the coupon.”

I work at a carwash and it’s the prime of winter. We usually close when the temps get below a certain temp to avoid car damages and upset customers, but the company decided we won’t be closing for that anymore. Apparently, money is more important than safety and quality.

It’s about thirteen degrees outside, I just opened up, and my first customer was right there waiting for us to do so. She purchases her wash and goes through, and when she pulls around to vacuum, she notices that ice has formed on her wheels and back windshield. She slams her door, throws down the vacuum hose, and stomps up to the office.

Customer: “I paid [total] and your wash put ice all over my car! I want my money back! You shouldn’t be open for business if you can’t control the ice, you f****** moron! What kind of place is this?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t control the temps any more than you can. It is thirteen degrees outside and we use water to clean your vehicle. Water freezes at or below thirty-two degrees, so I’m just confused as to why you’re confused. I’ll give you your money back, however, as I guess with the heat blaring in your car you maybe forgot we’re in the middle of winter?”

Customer: “It’s not my job as the customer to know what temperature water will freeze at, nor is it my job to know when to wash my car and when not to! You say all this like it’s just common sense, and it’s not!”

Me: “You’re absolutely right. Here’s your money. Have a great day and come back to see us when it warms up!”

She rolled her eyes at me, snatched the money out of my hand, and stomped off back to her car. She got to her car and tried to open the door and it wouldn’t budge. She tried all the doors and none of them would budge. They were frozen shut! 

I was amazed that she didn’t stomp back up to me and say it was all my fault and I needed to pay to have her towed. But she didn’t. She stood out there in the cold waiting for a tow truck to arrive in her shameful karma.

I did wave for her to come up front and I was going to offer for her to sit in the heated office until the tow truck arrived, but she flipped me the bird when she saw me waving.