License To Kill The Sale

, , , , , , | Right | November 15, 2017

(I work at an international airport for a very large car rental company. A customer approaches the counter, provides me with a reservation number, and I request their driver’s license and credit card.)

Customer: “Here is my credit card.”

Me: “Okay, I will need to see your license as well, please.”

Customer: *begins doing something on his cell phone, seemingly ignoring me*

Me: “Sir, I just need to see your driver’s license.”

Customer: “HOLD ON, HOLD ON!” *puts hand up to shush me*

(The customer hands me his cell phone in which there is a photograph of a TEMPORARY license sitting on what looks like a kitchen counter.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I need to have a physical driver’s license here in order to verify it.”

Customer: “This is a real driver’s license; there’s a photo right here.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Unfortunately, I cannot accept that as a valid driver’s license.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I have a driver’s license! It is right here. This company is going to h***, I swear!”

Me: “Could you present your license to a police officer if you were to be pulled over?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Then I cannot complete this rental for you. I’m very sorry.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. I have the license right here. Are you blind? You can see this, can’t you?”

Me: “I can see it, yes. But unless you have a valid license in your possession that could be presented if requested, I cannot legally rent you a vehicle, and legally you cannot drive a vehicle.”

Customer: “I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU GET OFF DOING THIS TO PEOPLE!” *stalks off*

Me: *slams face on desk*

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 67

| HI, USA | Right | August 1, 2017

(My company asks customers for a picture copy of their driver’s license and credit card for their rental reservations. Occasionally we get people who get concerned about the security of their credit card.)

Customer: “I sent my credit card in via email.”

Me: “I just checked our email box and we haven’t received it.”

Customer: “But I was concerned about sending my info in the first place! If I get charges on my credit card I’m coming after you.”

Me: “Well, it’d be kinda hard for us to charge you when we don’t have your credit card info.”

Customer: “But my info is floating around in space somewhere.”

Me: “I have zero control over where your credit card info is right now. However, aren’t you glad that you can dispute charges with your credit card company and they don’t hold you liable?”

Customer: “Well, okay, here’s the info you need.”

She’s Gone Rental Mental

| London, ON, Canada | Right | March 28, 2017

(I work at a car rental place downtown. I’m a service agent so I don’t usually deal with the customers when they first enter, but I overhear this conversation one day at work.)

Assistant Manager: “Hello, ma’am. Welcome to [Company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to rent a car for today.”

Assistant Manager: “Okay, no problem. Just let me get your name and phone number.”

Customer: “My name is [Customer], and my phone number is [number].”

(He looks up her info and sees that there is a car already rented in her name.)

Assistant Manager: “Ma’am, are you sure you want to rent a car?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Assistant Manager: “Because we have here on the computer that you have already rented a car.”

Customer: “Oh, that can’t be right… Oh, wait… I think I might have parked it on the other side of my hotel.”

Assistant Manager: “That’s no problem, ma’am. One of our service agents can give you a ride back.”

Time To Give It Away

, | New Zealand | Working | March 22, 2017

(My dad recently took a trip. He missed his early morning flight and gets another later that same day. After arriving at his destination, he goes to pick up his rental car.)

Dad: “I booked a car to pick up early this morning, but I missed my flight. I’m here now to pick it up.”

Car Rental Agent: “I’m sorry but we’ve given it away.”

Dad: “What do you mean, you’ve given it away? ”

Car Rental Agent: “You weren’t here to pick it up, so it was given to someone else.”

Dad: “Well, then, give me another one.”

Car Rental Agent: “We have no cars left. Our lot is empty.”

Dad: *starting to get angry* “Now, listen here. When I booked a car I made a contract with you. And it doesn’t matter if I’d pick up the car and was using it or it was still sitting in your lot because you’re still charging me for that time regardless of where it is. Now, you have to honour that contract.”

(Pulls out the printed email from the rental agency and hands it to the agent. Agent looks it over.)

Car Rental Agent: “This isn’t us.”

Dad: “What?” *looks at paperwork and realises he’s at the wrong car rental*

Dad: “Well, I don’t know who’s the bigger idiot here, you or me. I mean, I know I’m the idiot who went to the wrong counter, but why did you then tell me you’d given my car away without even checking if I was your customer?”

(Dad then went to the counter right next to the first, where they had his car waiting for him.)

Cadillac In The Sack

| Houston, TX, USA | Working | May 30, 2016

(I work for a rental car company that is known for picking up their customers to bring them back to the office. We get a call from a near-by body shop that a customer with a high-dollar insurance policy is waiting in their office to be picked up by Rental Company. I pick up the customer, have nice small-talk with them, and bring them back to the office and begin typing the rental ticket.)

Me: “All right, sir, I’m just going to need your driver’s license and your credit card to get started.”

Customer: “Okay, great. Now, my insurance agent said you would have either a Cadillac or a Town Car for me. I’ll take whichever one you have ready right now.”

Me: “Uh… neither. I don’t carry that kind of car at my branch. I mostly deal in insurance-replacement rentals, like yours. I carry cars like the Nissan Versa, or Chevy Impala, but nothing like a Cadillac or a Lincoln product.”

Customer: “Are you serious? Why on earth would you bring me here if you don’t have the car I was promised?”

Me: “Well, I didn’t promise you anything, but here’s what I can do: I have a Chevy Suburban right here, ready to go. It’s not a Cadillac Escalade, but Cadillac is a GM product, Chevy is a GM product, so really these two cars are just distant cousins.”

Customer: “No. They’re not even close to the same. Clearly you can’t help me here, so just take me back to the body-shop. I’ll make other arrangements for a rental vehicle.”

Me: “Whatever you think is best, sir.”

(We get back in the car, which happens to be a Nissan Versa, which is important because the shifter on those cars is very close to the passenger’s seat. As I am backing up the car I say:)

Me: “Mr. [Customer], it is always our goal at [Rental Company] that you are completely satisfied with our customer service and I feel like we weren’t able to do that for you today. If there is anything I can do to make you completely satisfied, just let me know.

(At this moment I reach for the shifter to put the car into drive…. but I missed. And I accidentally grabbed his knee. He looks down at my hand on his knee. Looks me dead in the eye and says:)

Customer: “You’re not making it up to me like that!”

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