She’s Gone Rental Mental

| London, ON, Canada | Right | March 28, 2017

(I work at a car rental place downtown. I’m a service agent so I don’t usually deal with the customers when they first enter, but I overhear this conversation one day at work.)

Assistant Manager: “Hello, ma’am. Welcome to [Company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to rent a car for today.”

Assistant Manager: “Okay, no problem. Just let me get your name and phone number.”

Customer: “My name is [Customer], and my phone number is [number].”

(He looks up her info and sees that there is a car already rented in her name.)

Assistant Manager: “Ma’am, are you sure you want to rent a car?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Assistant Manager: “Because we have here on the computer that you have already rented a car.”

Customer: “Oh, that can’t be right… Oh, wait… I think I might have parked it on the other side of my hotel.”

Assistant Manager: “That’s no problem, ma’am. One of our service agents can give you a ride back.”

Time To Give It Away

, | New Zealand | Working | March 22, 2017

(My dad recently took a trip. He missed his early morning flight and gets another later that same day. After arriving at his destination, he goes to pick up his rental car.)

Dad: “I booked a car to pick up early this morning, but I missed my flight. I’m here now to pick it up.”

Car Rental Agent: “I’m sorry but we’ve given it away.”

Dad: “What do you mean, you’ve given it away? ”

Car Rental Agent: “You weren’t here to pick it up, so it was given to someone else.”

Dad: “Well, then, give me another one.”

Car Rental Agent: “We have no cars left. Our lot is empty.”

Dad: *starting to get angry* “Now, listen here. When I booked a car I made a contract with you. And it doesn’t matter if I’d pick up the car and was using it or it was still sitting in your lot because you’re still charging me for that time regardless of where it is. Now, you have to honour that contract.”

(Pulls out the printed email from the rental agency and hands it to the agent. Agent looks it over.)

Car Rental Agent: “This isn’t us.”

Dad: “What?” *looks at paperwork and realises he’s at the wrong car rental*

Dad: “Well, I don’t know who’s the bigger idiot here, you or me. I mean, I know I’m the idiot who went to the wrong counter, but why did you then tell me you’d given my car away without even checking if I was your customer?”

(Dad then went to the counter right next to the first, where they had his car waiting for him.)

Cadillac In The Sack

| Houston, TX, USA | Working | May 30, 2016

(I work for a rental car company that is known for picking up their customers to bring them back to the office. We get a call from a near-by body shop that a customer with a high-dollar insurance policy is waiting in their office to be picked up by Rental Company. I pick up the customer, have nice small-talk with them, and bring them back to the office and begin typing the rental ticket.)

Me: “All right, sir, I’m just going to need your driver’s license and your credit card to get started.”

Customer: “Okay, great. Now, my insurance agent said you would have either a Cadillac or a Town Car for me. I’ll take whichever one you have ready right now.”

Me: “Uh… neither. I don’t carry that kind of car at my branch. I mostly deal in insurance-replacement rentals, like yours. I carry cars like the Nissan Versa, or Chevy Impala, but nothing like a Cadillac or a Lincoln product.”

Customer: “Are you serious? Why on earth would you bring me here if you don’t have the car I was promised?”

Me: “Well, I didn’t promise you anything, but here’s what I can do: I have a Chevy Suburban right here, ready to go. It’s not a Cadillac Escalade, but Cadillac is a GM product, Chevy is a GM product, so really these two cars are just distant cousins.”

Customer: “No. They’re not even close to the same. Clearly you can’t help me here, so just take me back to the body-shop. I’ll make other arrangements for a rental vehicle.”

Me: “Whatever you think is best, sir.”

(We get back in the car, which happens to be a Nissan Versa, which is important because the shifter on those cars is very close to the passenger’s seat. As I am backing up the car I say:)

Me: “Mr. [Customer], it is always our goal at [Rental Company] that you are completely satisfied with our customer service and I feel like we weren’t able to do that for you today. If there is anything I can do to make you completely satisfied, just let me know.

(At this moment I reach for the shifter to put the car into drive…. but I missed. And I accidentally grabbed his knee. He looks down at my hand on his knee. Looks me dead in the eye and says:)

Customer: “You’re not making it up to me like that!”

Don’t Scratch The Body

| Crystal City, VA, USA | Right | May 12, 2016

(I am the customer, picking up a rental car. The clerk has a trainee who is doing the looking-for-damages walk around the car.)

Trainee: *opens trunk* “No dead bodies!”

Me: “Is that an extra cost option?”

Trainee: “Not if you bring it back in the same condition.”

Me: “I’ll do my best…”

Locked Yourself Out Of Your Brain

| Denver, CO, USA | Right | April 25, 2016

(I’m the customer in this story. I got in on a very late flight on a business trip, rented a car, and received what appeared to be the valet key set, without a remote. I’m not able to open the car door the next morning using the key. When I call the rental agency, I’m polite but feeling very self-righteous over having been given something obviously defective. After a rather lengthy phone call, they agree to send a locksmith to meet me in front of my hotel as soon as possible. I meet him & walk him out to where my car is parked.)

Me: “Thanks for coming. I have a coworker who can take me into the office, but the agency said I needed to meet you here to see if you can get the door open so I can take the car back.”

Locksmith: “No problem. So, the key doesn’t work to unlock it?”

Me: “Yeah. Last night I was able to turn the car on and I was able to lock it, but now I can’t get the key to turn in the lock!”

Locksmith: “Okay, there doesn’t appear to be anything wrong with this lock. You said you were able to lock the car with your keys last night?”

Me: “Yes. Well, I think. It was late, and now I don’t remember if I used the key or just flipped the lock manually before closing the door.”

Locksmith: “Uh huh. So, it’s not hard to pop these kinds of doors, but there are a couple of things. One, we wanna make sure you can turn on the car after I open the door, just in case the key is warped.”

Me: “Definitely!”

Locksmith: “And also, I’m noticing there’s an identical gray Kia SUV five parking spots down in the parking lot. Now, opening this door is pretty much like breaking into a car. Are you completely sure it’s this one and not that one?”

Me: “I know where I parked last night!”

Locksmith: “Well, if you’re sure. You said it was pretty late.”

Me: “Umm, now that you mention it…”

(Yes, I had mistaken a total stranger’s car for my rental. I’m just lucky I didn’t try to have that total stranger’s car towed, thinking there was something wrong with it!)

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