(My manager is a ridiculously good-looking man, but it makes him uncomfortable especially when the women at our car dealership fawn over him. One night, a young girl—no more than about 19—comes in to buy her first car. It’s customary that the manager comes out and introduces themselves, so while the girl and I are in the middle of our initial small-talk, he walks out and extends his hand for a handshake)

Manager: “Hi, welcome to [dealership]. [My name] will take great care of you.”

(The girl blushes the brightest shade of red I’ve ever seen and shakes his hand.)

Girl: *shyly* “Hi.”

(His job done, my manager turns to walk away, and the girl, forgetting I’m there, stares very hard at his rear as he leaves. She suddenly remembers I’m there, turns even redder, and looks at the ground.)

Girl: “I’m… so… sorry.”

Me: *laughs* “Don’t feel bad, hon. We get it all the time. If it makes you feel any better, all the women here have done the exact same thing at one time or another. I’m guilty of the same thing, trust me!”

(The customer seems to feel a little better, and she laughs with me. I stand up to go do some paperwork, and see my manager is sitting in the area. I decide to rib him a bit.)

Me: “Hey [Manager], thanks for riling up my customers. The poor girl couldn’t stop staring after you when you walked away!”

Manager: “I know. I overheard your conversation.”

(My smile completely disappears.)

Me: “…How much did you hear?”

Manager: “All of it.”

(I couldn’t get out of there fast enough!)

(I am female. I have always been a bit of a tomboy, and a lot of a car nut. This takes place when I am sixteen and my parents and I are looking at a new model of the Ford Fiesta that has just come out. I’ve already read the literature online as has my mom. We really just want to see the car in person and see if the seat is good for my dad, who is 4’6″.)

Salesman: “Can I help you with something?”

My Dad: “Yeah, you’ve got a Zetec S out in the test drive area. Can we open it up so we can have a look?”

Salesman: “Oh, you’re interested in Zetec S? This is one right here.”

(The salesman gestures at a car behind him. I know it’s not a Zetec S because it has the wrong kit on it. We’ve checked the seat, but dad wants to see the trim detail on the new version.)

My Dad: “That’s not a Zetec S; that’s just the Zetec.”

Salesman: “No, this is a Zetec S.”

Me: “It can’t be; the alloys are wrong and the sign says Zetec.”

My Dad: “There’s a Zetec S outside. We want to look at that one.”

Salesman: *heavy sigh* “Well, I suppose I’ll get the keys. Let me go and look at what the number is.”

Me: “Number 46. ”

My Mom: “There you go… saved you a trip.”

(The salesman huffs and goes to look for the keys. When he comes back, he says he can’t find them.)

My Dad: “Oh, that’s okay. We’ll just have a look around it anyway.”

Salesman: “Oh yeah, they just bought this one out.”

My Dad: *to me* “So it’s a 1.6?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Salesman: “No, it’s a 1.4 litre engine.”

Me: “It’s not. It’s a 1.6 litre.”

Salesman: *to my dad, ignoring me* “It’s a 1.4 litre. This one has some optional extras like the leather interior and the CD player.”

Me: “…They’re both standard on this model.”

Salesman: “I think it’s a limited edition one, too.”

Me: “No, it’s a standard model. It’s the top of the range now.”

Salesman: “…and the alloy wheels are an upgrade, too.”

(At this point, my mom has finally had enough of listening to him ignore me and get it wrong.)

My Mom: “It is a 1.6 litre. It does come with leather and the CD player. Those are the standard alloys, and we were going to buy it from here. Come on [dad’s name], we’ll go to [sister dealership in next town] over and get it from them. Maybe someone there will listen to [my name] or at least know what we’re talking about!”

(We go to the sister dealership and tell them what had happened. They gave us a d*** good deal to make up for the other dealership’s salesman being dumb. Dad loved the car, and I bought my first car from the same guy as he did a year later!)

(Years ago, I was shopping for a car with my older boyfriend. He hadn’t said much since it was my purchase. Note: we walked in holding hands and being obviously affectionate.)

Me: “I’m looking for a smaller 5-speed car… maybe a Toyota.”

Sales Guy: “Well, we have this great car here.”

(It was a huge 4-door automatic sedan.)

Me: “That’s not what I’m looking for. I don’t want an automatic. I want a 5-speed manual, and something smaller and a little sportier.”

Sales Guy: “I’m not sure we have what you are want.” *to my boyfriend* “Sir, if you would just teach your daughter to drive a stick, she’d have a lot more choices.”

(Surprised, my boyfriend says nothing, but backs up a step or two.)

Me: “First off, he’s not my father; I wouldn’t be that affectionate with him! Second, you haven’t heard a word I said. So, you lose a sale!”

(I’m on the phone with a customer. I can hear kids running around and screaming in the background.)

Customer: “I talked to the man earlier. He said y’all do cars for five hundred down?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “What’s y’all… hold on a sec… *she yells at the kids making noise in the background* “QUIT THAT! I’M ON THE F***ING PHONE!” *back to me* “What do y’all need from me?”

Me: “Well, we ask for a pay stub as proof of income, a copy of your driver’s license, and some references.”

Customer: “Well, I do a daycare out of my home. That’s my job. Is that okay?”

(I have just brought a middle-aged couple back from a test drive. We are going over the price of the car.)

Me: “With your trade and money down, we’re looking at about $400 per month for the base model, and $440 per month fully-loaded.”

Husband: “But we only wanted to spend $500 to $550 or more per month!”

Me: “…Excuse me?”

Wife: “Like he said, we’re looking to spend no more than $550.”

Me: “Well, yes. Even if you get the fully loaded model, it’s far under $500 per month.”

Husband: “NO! What part of ‘$500 per month’ don’t you understand?”

Me: “Not a problem, sir. I definitely think we can make the numbers work for you at $500 per month.”

Wife: “Much better. We’ll take it, then!”