My grandpa was a successful man, and in his mid-sixties, he decided he wanted to take a step back, so he started selling off his various businesses and spent the next few years traveling.

As he approached seventy, he got bored. He also had a few new grandchildren, so he needed a bigger house. He sold the old home that he had bought after he got back from Vietnam and bought this massive house on this large piece of land. This property also came with a massive steel barn.

I’m not sure if he had ever told anyone about his plans, but right after he got the property, he dumped a ton of money into tools and equipment and converted his barn into a mechanic’s dream. Some things I remember:

• He had a professional lift, capable of lifting full-size trucks.
• He had those professional oil catchers you see at quick lubes.
• He had a dedicated air compressor system that was designed to power all his power tools.
• He had a tire machine to mount new tires.
• He had so much equipment.
• His tool corner was a massive corner of this massive barn.

His plan? To fix cars, especially for people in need. He lived in a rural community; if you didn’t have a car that was a big problem. So, he let everyone at his local church know that he was willing to work on their cars if they provided the parts.

He only took a few jobs a week; he was doing this to enjoy himself and help those that needed it.  He changed oil, changed the transmission fluid, and did all kinds of various repairs. My grandpa was a talented mechanic. However, he kept the amount of work limited. He was also selective; if you were in need he’d want to fix your cars. If you had the means to pay, he’d decline and ask you to go elsewhere.

One day, the owner of the local car dealership came by and told my grandpa he needed to stop fixing other people’s cars because he wasn’t properly licensed, didn’t have the proper insurance, and was hurting his business. Grandpa explained that this was just his hobby; he only did a few cars a week. The owner told him he needed to cut it out, or he was going sue Grandpa out of business.

Grandpa laughed over this. What business was this guy going to sue him out of? The owner walked out.

A little while later, my grandpa got served; he was being sued by the owner of the car dealership. Grandpa thought he’d take a trip down to the dealership to try and reason with the man, hoping they could come to an understanding.

Grandpa spoke to the owner and basically explained:

• He only worked on cars for people who were down on their luck. The fact was that the people whose cars he fixed probably couldn’t afford to pay a professional dealership to fix their vehicles.
• He only did a few cars a week.
• He was not all that interested in getting into a fight over his hobby, but he wasn’t going back down.

Well, they ended up in court. By this point, my grandpa had hired a lawyer, who was able to get the city to approve a commercial garage on his property. It helped that he lived on the outskirts of town and had six acres of property.

The court told my grandpa that his auto repair shop was operating illegally, and if he wanted to continue, he needed to get a business license and the proper insurance. If he did that, he would be good to go.

Now, what do you think a man who has nothing but time and money in this situation is going to do? He’s going to get his business license and insurance, of course. He did, and that surprised no one… but he went further.

• He got a dedicated phone line run into his shop.
• He hired a full-time mechanic.
• He put up a professional sign.
• He set up a little waiting area with a water cooler.

What shocked everyone even more?

• He ran a local TV ad saying he was a pay-what-you-can mechanic shop, reservations only.
• He put ads in the local paper saying the same thing.

Yes, folks, that’s right. My grandpa was now not only a licensed, legal auto repair business, but he had a certified mechanic on his payroll… and he was running ads. As for his prices? They were quite simple. You either:

• Brought the parts yourself and paid the mechanic whatever you wanted — the mechanic got a separate wage from Grandpa, so if you couldn’t pay anything, that was fine — or;
• Had Grandpa source the parts, he’d charge you the cost of the parts, and you’d pay the mechanic whatever you wanted.

Grandpa started taking jobs, and boy, did that shop get busy. It was impossible to beat Grandpa’s prices. Grandpa was essentially paying to fix your car for you. He would spend his days with the mechanic that he had hired working on cars. He loved it.

The owner of the local car dealership was furious, and he sued my grandpa again. They went to court, and the judge basically said that my grandpa owned a licensed, insured auto repair business, and what he charged his customers for his services was completely up to him — even if that meant doing the work for free.

About a year or so later, Grandpa got a call from a lawyer who said he was representing a potential buyer of the local car dealership; however, the buyer wanted to speak to Grandpa. My grandpa agreed, and he sat down with the new potential buyer who expressed his concerns about buying the dealership. Service is a major profit center for a dealership, and he was considering buying the local dealership. However, he didn’t want to buy the dealership if my grandpa was going to keep operating the way he did because a for-profit business couldn’t compete against someone selling their services for free.

Grandpa agreed that there was no way someone looking to make a profitable business could ever compete against him. So, they came to an agreement.

• The potential buyer would buy the dealership.
• Grandpa would only work on a few cars a week, maybe five or six.
• He would only work on cars for people who were down on their luck and probably too poor to be able to pay a professional dealership to fix their car.
• Any parts he needed, he would buy from the dealership.
• Any work he declined, he’d refer to the dealership.
• The buyer would let Grandpa be and stay out of his way.
• The buyer would hire Grandpa’s mechanic.

They shook hands, the local dealership was bought out, and for the next nine years, my grandpa continued to fix cars for people who were down on their luck, and if he had to buy parts, he’d buy from the dealership. As for the mechanic Grandpa had hired? He ended up becoming the service manager and did quite well for himself.

As for my grandpa, when he was eighty, he had a heart attack in his shop. Luckily, one of his grandkids was there, they got him to the hospital, and he made a full recovery. But the doctor told him his body couldn’t handle working in that garage anymore. He ended up shutting down after that.

For the next three years, he looked out his kitchen window at his shop and remembered all the fun he’d had in his garage. He passed away at eighty-three surrounded by friends and family.

I’m getting ready to buy a car. I don’t like the idea of being in more debt than I have to, so I’ve been saving for a while and am planning to buy the car outright. I’m also in the process of switching banks after a move since the nearest branch of my old bank is now two hours away. I’ve set up a new bank account and transferred some money over, but a lot of my money is still in the old account because I haven’t gotten around to transferring over the direct deposit from my job.

My stepdad has offered to help because he’s a better negotiator than I am, but he’s also been helping me look for cars online. I notice that he’s looking at newer, more expensive cars than I am.

Me: “I don’t really want to go over $15,000. That’s what I have in my local bank account. When [Brother] and [Sister-In-Law] bought a car recently, they said the dealership wouldn’t take anything but cash or a registered check, and they had to go to the bank to get those. If I go over $15,000, I’m afraid I’ll have to go to [City two hours away where the nearest bank branch is] to get the payment.”

Stepdad: “No, don’t worry about that. You can just pay by wire transfer. It’ll be easy.”

So, I pick out a car that, after taxes, fees, etc., costs $22,000. Here’s a VERY condensed version of the conversations I have after that.

On Saturday, the day I’ve agreed to buy the car:

Dealership: “We can’t take personal checks, so you’ll need cash or a certified check from your bank to buy the car outright.”

Me: “I can’t do that; they’re two hours away. What about a wire transfer?”

Dealership: “Oh, yeah, that works. We’ll hold the car until payment goes through, and then you can come pick it up.”

On Monday:

Bank: “We don’t do wire transfers over $5,000 unless you come in in person.”

Me: “I guess I should let the dealership know this is going to be trickier than I thought, and ask if they have any other ideas and how long they’ll hold the car for me.”

Dealership: “You need to talk to someone in finance? Sorry, they’re literally all out today.”

In fairness, it is Columbus Day, but that’s not a very commonly observed holiday, and the dealership is open. You’d think SOMEONE in the finance department would be there.

On Monday night, talking to my family:

Me: “I don’t see why this has to be so complicated. Why can’t I just write a check or pay with my debit card, like any other purchase? They could avoid the risk of it bouncing by holding the car until the payment clears or calling the bank to make sure I have the money.”

Stepdad: *Somewhat condescendingly* “They can’t do that because people would come in writing bad checks, and they’d have to hold a lot of cars waiting to see if the checks cleared.”

I’m thinking, “And that’s riskier than what they’re doing now, which is holding the car without even a check, just based on my word that I’m going to pay them for it?”

On Tuesday:

Dealership: “You need to talk to someone in finance? Okay, we’ll transfer you to a random finance person’s voicemail.”

Several hours later, the finance person calls me back.

Car Finance Person: “Let’s call your bank together and straighten this out. It should be easy.”

We call.

Bank Person #1: “Sure, we can do the transfer. Answer some security questions, and I’ll send you to the wire transfer department.”

They transfer us.

Bank Person #2: “Actually, this is the IT department.” 

Maybe the first person figured IT deals with wires?

Bank Person #2: “But anyway, nobody can do a wire transfer without you being here. I’ll transfer you to your local branch; they’ll know you. Maybe they can do it.”

So, they can’t, but maybe they can? And no matter how many security questions I answer correctly, it’s too much of a fraud risk to transfer over $5,000, but if a random teller thinks they recognize my voice that makes it okay?

“Local” Branch Person: “No, I don’t recognize you.” 

This is unsurprising since what they call my “local” branch is two hours away and I’ve never been there.

“Local” Branch Person: “But anyway, we can’t do a wire transfer unless you come in. I don’t know why the IT person thought the branch would be able to do it.”

After we hang up with the bank:

Car Finance Person: “You know what? Just come back to the dealership and write us a check. We’ll call the bank to confirm that you have enough money, so we’ll know it won’t bounce.”

What a revolutionary idea!

I did end up writing the check and bringing the car home on Wednesday. I’ve since resolved to: A) make it a priority to finish switching to a local bank, B) point out to my stepfather that the solution we ended up going with was the same one he shot down when I suggested it, and C) NEVER, EVER listen to anyone who says, “Don’t worry; this should be easy.”

Related:
Shut Up And Take My Money! Part 3
Shut Up And Take My Money! Part 2
Shut Up And Take My Money!

I work in the accounting department for a car dealership. The only time I even see customers is when I’m coming in or heading out; everything I do is internal. My desk is in a back office, away from everyone. So, when a memo goes out for no more personal phones on the showroom floor, I don’t even think of putting my phone on my desk off to the side while I work. I get told by a passing manager that, no, that applies to everywhere outside of the break room. Okay, not how it was worded, but all right, into my purse it goes.

The next day, I get called out again by the same manager; he “saw me on my phone,” even though I’m certain I didn’t take it out of my purse outside of my lunch break.

On the third day, he “catches me” again, once in the morning and once in the afternoon.

Manager: “If I see you on your phone one more time, I will write you up.”

Me: “If you do, you bring [HR Guy] from Human Resources with you.”

Sure enough, the next morning around 10:00 am, up marches [Manager] with a write-up in hand and [HR Guy] in tow. He slaps the paper on my desk and barks:

Manager: “SIGN IT.”

Instead, I asked [HR Guy] if he had my phone number on hand as I’d asked. He did. He dialed from my desk phone, on speaker. My husband — to whom I had given my phone that morning — picked up and confirmed that he was speaking on my cell phone. I stared [Manager] down while [HR Guy] picked up the write-up and said we were done. [Manager] fumed for a minute and then stalked off.

The weirdest part is that [Manager] was a sales manager; he wasn’t even my manager! I don’t know if he saw me looking down at my desk while doing paperwork and assumed I was on my phone, or if he had some strange vendetta and made it all up to get me in trouble.

A customer in their early twenties approaches me.

Customer: “My dad said I need to get a car because I’m not allowed to drive his anymore.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll be happy to help! What budget are we looking at?”

Customer: “Well, he thinks I’ve saved up $4,000, because that’s what I’ve told him, but I don’t have that.”

Me: “Oooookay, so what do you have?”

Customer: “I got like, $250. Oh, wait, I just bought the new Zelda, so like $190?”

Me: “…Well, we do have some very competitive financing options.”

Customer: “I don’t have a job right now, so I can’t do monthly payments.”

Me: “You were hoping to come and buy a car all-in for less than $200?”

Customer: “Yeah… Now that you put it that way…”

Me: “Yeah…”

Customer: “What if I refunded my Zelda game?”

Back when F150 Raptors were hot and hard to get, I was selling a car at our dealership. We were one of the few dealerships not playing any games on the Raptors. The deal was MSRP (Manufacturer’s Suggested Retail Price) minus any rebates you qualified for, plus our $299 dealer fee and TTL (tax, title, and license fees), which was super reasonable.

Then came Tom.

Tom was a royal pain from the start. First off, he thought he was going to haggle, and it got so bad that I straight up told him:

Me: “Here is your deal. If you like it, let my manager over there know, and we’ll take a deposit and order the vehicle, but I have other customers to attend to.”

Then I got up and left to meet my appointment. (Tom was scheduled for noon, and it was now 3:00 pm, a full three hours later.)

Tom sat at my desk for a solid fifteen or twenty minutes, and then I saw him get up and walk over to my manager’s office. My manager ended up taking his deposit, explaining the process, and sending him off.

Out of the 1,000-plus customers I’ve sold to, there was only one customer that I did that to, and it was Tom. Tom was special.

It got worse. Here are the things Tom did.

Tom forged a dealer offer sheet from a competing dealer, trying to get us to give him a $3,000 discount. Tom called our auto group headquarters several times to complain. Tom called Ford headquarters several times to complain. Tom was repeatedly caught in lies. His lies would normally be, “[My Name]’s manager said…” or, “[My Name] said…” when we didn’t.

A few weeks before his vehicle was due, he sent out a massive email that included our customer service representatives, my manager, my general manager, and me, basically listing his demands and being incredibly unreasonable.

A few hours before that email, a customer inquired about an F150 Raptor, but unfortunately, the order banks had closed, and we had none in stock (we never had any in stock). But this new customer seemed super nice, so I went to my general manager.

Me: “Let’s sell this Raptor to this new guy who seems super chill and nice and can easily afford it, and let’s refund this d**k his money and tell him we can’t do business with him.”

My general manager agreed and told me to write up the email and CC certain individuals. I wrote up the email:

Email: “Dear Tom,

“After careful consideration of your last email and your past experience, we’ve decided we can’t meet your expectations and wouldn’t want you to be disappointed in your vehicle. Therefore, we have decided to refund your money.

“We have instructed our accounting department to cut a check and overnight it to the address on file. You will be receiving a refund in full.

“We hope you can find a dealership that can match your expectations. We wish you all the best.”

Then, I called up my other customer.

Me: “Hey, man, we have a new Raptor that just became available. I can send you the window sticker, and it’s yours for MSRP, $299 dealer fee, and TTL.”

I sent over the window sticker.

After I did that, Tom called me, furious, telling us he was going to sue us. I passed the call to my general, who gave him our law firm’s phone number, told him his lawyer could talk to our lawyer, and asked Tom not to call back again.

Then, the new customer from that morning called me back and said he was on the way to meet me to place a deposit and start on the paperwork.