Has A License To Be An Idiot

| San Jose, CA, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Transportation

(I work in the service department of a car dealership. We are sometimes able to provide loaner vehicles to customers if the repairs needed on their vehicle fulfill certain requirements. If a customer uses a loaner vehicle they complete a contract similar to if they rent a car which requires us to see their driver’s license, proof of insurance, and a credit card. A customer has been told they qualify for a loaner vehicle needed after their vehicle was towed in for repairs and diagnosed. She barges in, looking grumpy.)

Customer: “I’m [Customer]; I’m here to pick up a loaner car.”

Receptionist: “No problem! We were expecting you so your advisor has already pulled up the vehicle; we’ll be able to get you on the road soon.”

Customer: *impatiently* “GOOD! I’m in a hurry. It is SO inconvenient that I had to come ALL the way here to pick up a car. I have things to do, you know!”

Receptionist: “We definitely understand; it’s tough when your car breaks down. We’re glad we can get you this loaner so at least you can get around again while your car is being fixed. I just need to see your driver’s license, proof of insurance, and a credit card so we can do your paperwork.”

Customer: “WHAT?! What do you mean you need to see that stuff?”

Receptionist: “…Are your documents in your car? We can have one of our porters get whatever is needed out of your vehicle.”

Customer: “NO! I didn’t bring any of those things because NOBODY TOLD ME I would need them! SOMEBODY SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME! THIS IS TOTALLY UNPROFESSIONAL!”

(One of my coworkers finishes with his customer and is tired of hearing her berate our receptionist, who has done nothing wrong. He approaches the desk.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I couldn’t help but overhearing. It sounds like you were here to pick up our loaner vehicle but you don’t have your driver’s license or insurance information?”

Customer: “YES! NOBODY TOLD ME I NEEDED THEM! SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME!”

Coworker: “Was someone else going to drive the loaner car?”

Customer: “What kind of stupid question is THAT? I HAVE TO GO TO WORK! STOP WASTING MY TIME AND GIVE ME THE CAR! NOBODY TOLD ME I NEEDED TO BRING THAT STUFF TO GET THE CAR!”

Coworker: “Ma’am… I’m pretty sure the State of California told you to bring your license and insurance with you EVERY time you plan to drive a car.”

Relatively Stupid

| Perth, WA, Australia | Liars & Scammers

Caller: “Hello, I was hoping to speak to [Boss]?”

Me: “Oh, he’s actually gone home for the day! Would you like me to take a message for him?”

Caller: “No. I’m a relative and it’s incredibly important I speak to him.”

Me: “Well, if you’re family, would you like me to put you through to [Boss’s son]?”

Caller: “Who?”

Making A Classic Mistake

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Time, Transportation

(It is the 50th anniversary of President Kennedy being assassinated and one of the local papers has reprinted their edition from that afternoon, complete with the actual advertisements that ran in the paper. A customer comes into our car dealership inquiring about one of the ads….)

Customer: “Hi, I’m calling about the ad I saw in [Newspaper] about the new [Car Model] from [Our Dealership] for only $3,000 and I’d like to get one.”

Me: “Sir, that is an ad in a special commemorative reprint from 1963. That offer is exactly 50 years old, to the day. It’s long expired.”

Customer: “This is false advertising! You’re offering cars for $3,000; you’d better give me one.”

Me: “Sir, if we get a 1963 [Car Model] in stock anytime soon, I’ll give you a call and sell it to you for $3,000, okay?”

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