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Your Patience Needs A Lot Of Mileage

| MA, USA | Extra Stupid

(A customer comes in during the morning rush in the service department. We get a lot of questions from customers that don’t understand that the maintenance interval is EITHER determined by time OR mileage, whichever comes first.)

Customer: “I just bought my car, and someone called me telling me I needed service. I don’t need service now!”

Coworker: “Okay, if you’re not at the service mileage, we recommend that you have service done every five months anyway so you don’t miss your free services.”

Customer: “I don’t care. I just want you people to stop calling me! It disturbs my husband. He has Alzheimer’s, and he can’t tell when to come in for service, Please don’t call me anymore!”

Coworker: “I can add you to the do not call list.”

Customer: “Please.”

Coworker: *processes change to customer’s contact preference* “Okay, you’re all set.”

Customer: “So, how do I know when to come for service? Will you call me and remind me when I get to the mileage?”

Me & Manager: *cringe*

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 57

| GA, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(I am an Internet sales consultant in an automotive dealership. Someone expresses interest in one of our used vehicles online, so I call them to follow up. Here is how the conversation goes.)

Me: “Hello, I’m looking for [Customer]?”

Customer: “Yes, this is [Customer].”

Me: “Hey, [Customer], this is [My Name] at [Car Dealership]. I saw you were interested in our 2007 [Make & Model] and I wanted to see how I can help!”

Customer: “Oh, great, yeah. I really, really, like that car. Um… I wanted to know what the qualifications were in order to get it?”

Me: “So you’re interested in financing?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay! We generally just start by having you fill out our credit application. We’re not a ‘buy here, pay here’ place, so we do finance through real banks… Have you ever financed a vehicle before?”

Customer: “No, this will be my first time.”

Me: “Do you have any other lines of credit open?”

Customer: “Uhhh… yeah, uh, I got an old cell phone bill that is now with a place called the uh… credit bureau.”

Me: “Oh, so like a collection account.”

Customer: “Yeah, yeah yes that.”

(I emailed him a credit application and I’m waiting to see just how bad it is.)

Related:

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 56

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 55

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 54

Has A License To Be An Idiot

| San Jose, CA, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Transportation

(I work in the service department of a car dealership. We are sometimes able to provide loaner vehicles to customers if the repairs needed on their vehicle fulfill certain requirements. If a customer uses a loaner vehicle they complete a contract similar to if they rent a car which requires us to see their driver’s license, proof of insurance, and a credit card. A customer has been told they qualify for a loaner vehicle needed after their vehicle was towed in for repairs and diagnosed. She barges in, looking grumpy.)

Customer: “I’m [Customer]; I’m here to pick up a loaner car.”

Receptionist: “No problem! We were expecting you so your advisor has already pulled up the vehicle; we’ll be able to get you on the road soon.”

Customer: *impatiently* “GOOD! I’m in a hurry. It is SO inconvenient that I had to come ALL the way here to pick up a car. I have things to do, you know!”

Receptionist: “We definitely understand; it’s tough when your car breaks down. We’re glad we can get you this loaner so at least you can get around again while your car is being fixed. I just need to see your driver’s license, proof of insurance, and a credit card so we can do your paperwork.”

Customer: “WHAT?! What do you mean you need to see that stuff?”

Receptionist: “…Are your documents in your car? We can have one of our porters get whatever is needed out of your vehicle.”

Customer: “NO! I didn’t bring any of those things because NOBODY TOLD ME I would need them! SOMEBODY SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME! THIS IS TOTALLY UNPROFESSIONAL!”

(One of my coworkers finishes with his customer and is tired of hearing her berate our receptionist, who has done nothing wrong. He approaches the desk.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I couldn’t help but overhearing. It sounds like you were here to pick up our loaner vehicle but you don’t have your driver’s license or insurance information?”

Customer: “YES! NOBODY TOLD ME I NEEDED THEM! SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME!”

Coworker: “Was someone else going to drive the loaner car?”

Customer: “What kind of stupid question is THAT? I HAVE TO GO TO WORK! STOP WASTING MY TIME AND GIVE ME THE CAR! NOBODY TOLD ME I NEEDED TO BRING THAT STUFF TO GET THE CAR!”

Coworker: “Ma’am… I’m pretty sure the State of California told you to bring your license and insurance with you EVERY time you plan to drive a car.”

Relatively Stupid

| Perth, WA, Australia | Liars & Scammers

Caller: “Hello, I was hoping to speak to [Boss]?”

Me: “Oh, he’s actually gone home for the day! Would you like me to take a message for him?”

Caller: “No. I’m a relative and it’s incredibly important I speak to him.”

Me: “Well, if you’re family, would you like me to put you through to [Boss’s son]?”

Caller: “Who?”

Making A Classic Mistake

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Time, Transportation

(It is the 50th anniversary of President Kennedy being assassinated and one of the local papers has reprinted their edition from that afternoon, complete with the actual advertisements that ran in the paper. A customer comes into our car dealership inquiring about one of the ads….)

Customer: “Hi, I’m calling about the ad I saw in [Newspaper] about the new [Car Model] from [Our Dealership] for only $3,000 and I’d like to get one.”

Me: “Sir, that is an ad in a special commemorative reprint from 1963. That offer is exactly 50 years old, to the day. It’s long expired.”

Customer: “This is false advertising! You’re offering cars for $3,000; you’d better give me one.”

Me: “Sir, if we get a 1963 [Car Model] in stock anytime soon, I’ll give you a call and sell it to you for $3,000, okay?”

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