They’re Nutso Different

, | Charlevoix, MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work in a fudge shop during tourist season. All the types of fudge are in a large display that takes up the entire length of the room, separating the workers from the customers.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am. Welcome to [Company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: *stares blankly at the display* “…What are those two there?” *points vaguely at two types of fudge*

Me: “This one on the left is walnut fudge, and the other on the right is cashew.”

Customer: “Oh… Well, what’s the difference between walnut and cashew fudge?”

Me: *dumbfounded* “Um… one has walnuts… and the other has cashews?”

Customer: “Oh. Well I don’t like nuts. Can I get this one instead?” *points to a display peanut butter fudge*

No ID, No Idea, Part 15

| Salem, NH, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal

(The store I work at sells chocolate liqueurs. Because they are alcoholic, I cannot sell them to anyone who doesn’t have an ID on them. A couple of young women come up, and seeing the liqueurs by the register, put a couple in with their purchase.)

Me: “I’ll need to see some ID for those.”

Customer: “Oh, I left my ID in the car.”

Me: “I can hold onto your stuff while you go get it.”

Customer: “I don’t want to go all the way to my car and back!”

Me: *moving the liqueurs aside* “All right. I’ll just put those back, then.”

Customer: “But, I want them.”

Me: “I’ll need to see your ID.”

Customer: “It’s in the car!”

Me: “I can hold your stuff for you while you go get it.”

Customer: “Look, I LOOK old enough to drink, don’t I?”

Me: “Yes…”

(Smiling, the woman nudges the liqueurs back into her pile of stuff. I promptly nudge them back out.)

Me: “My underage sister LOOKS old enough, as well.”

Customer: “But I want those!”

Me: “I’ll need to see your ID.”

Customer: “It’s in the CAR!”

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 14
No ID, No Idea, Part 13
No ID, No Idea, Part 12

Stupid Out Of The Starting Gate

, | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

(I work in a kiosk candy shop located in a popular shopping mall. Because of the location in the middle of the floor, some people don’t realise that we’re closed. I am cashing up after a long day. The gates that close off the kiosk have been closed and padlocked. The entire shopping centre has been closed for a good 15 minutes.)

Customer: “Are you still open? I know exactly what I want so I’ll be quick.”

Me: *thinking this guy is messing with me, I play along* “Yeah, sure, but only if you can manage to get over the gate.”

Customer: *to his friend* “Yo, they’re still open! Give me a hand getting over this gate!”

Me: “Ah, sorry, I was just kidding around with you. We actually closed over 20 minutes ago. I’m just running late.”

Customer: “But… I can still get lollies, right?”

(Whenever we have customers that don’t see past their own nose, I always have a bit of a joke with them and they laugh along. This was the first customer that actually thought I was serious.)