Dislike Father, Dislike Son

| Missouri, USA | Bigotry, Family & Kids, Top

(A lady walks in with her 11-year-old son. He is being very mouthy to her, mouthy to her friend that is with them. He even glares at me when I tell him he can not eat of our bulk candy bins. They finally come up to the counter to pay for their candy, but he is still saying horrible things to his mother. She is looking very upset by this point.)

Me: “Did you find everything okay?”

Customer’s Son: “Shut up!”

Me: “You know, if my son talked to me that way—”

Customer’s Son: “You’d what, b****?”

Me: “I’d probably hogtie him and throw him into his room.”

Customer: *laughs*

Customer’s Son: “B****, you wouldn’t be standing!”

Me: *laughing* “Oh? How you figure that?”

Customer’s Son: “Because you’re a woman, and women are weak.”

Customer: *to her son* “Oh my God, are you serious?! You are NOT visiting your father anymore!”

Customer’s Son: *to me* “Now get me an Icee, b****.”

Me: “Oh, I don’t know. I’m not sure my weak woman’s hands can make it for you!”

Customer: *laughing, to me* “Thank you!” *to her son* “Now, let’s go. I’m not buying you anything!”

Me: “Have a nice day!”

Customer’s Son: *flips me off*

Customer: *smacks him*

Weekend Roundup: Kids Say The Awesomest Things

, , , , | Not Always Right Archives | Roundups

Introducing Weekend Roundups: each week, we’ll be featuring some of our favorite stories from the Not Always Right archives.

Kids Say The Awesomest Things! This week, we share five stories that show that kids are not only our best customers, but can be an employee’s best friend!

  1. Ah, Children:
    A misbehaving customer gets put in the time-out corner…by a toddler.
  2. They Swim Where The Sun Doesn’t Shine:
    When Blade meets The Little Mermaid, awesome ensues.
  3. Making A Hug(e) Difference:
    Every store needs a kid like this…seriously, can Not Always Right adopt this boy?
  4. Vocabulary, Meet Veracity:
    Proof that kids hear everything parents say.
  5. They Grow Up Too Fast:
    When the rubber hits the road, Ultimate Driving Machines come in all sizes.

They Grow Up Too Fast

| Adelaide, Australia | Uncategorized

(A customer and his four-year old daughter are checking out.)

Me: “Would you like anything else?”

(The customer looks at the lollipop stand on the counter, then looks down at his daughter.)

Customer, to child: “What would you like?”

Child: “A BMW!”

Related:
They Grow Up So Fast

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Pregnant Woman Scorned

| New Jersey, USA | Hall of Fame, Top

(A man comes to my register with a mint chocolate candy bar.)

Me: “Anything else?”

Customer: “Can you break a $100 bill?”

Me: “Actually, I can’t. We just opened and I haven’t gone to the bank today.”

Customer: “Oh, no! Do you know anywhere I can get change? I need this candy right away!”

(At this point I notice his panicked look. Coupled with the fact that he’s buying the most unappetizing candy in the store, I jump to a conclusion.)

Me: “Sir, these aren’t for you, are they?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Did your pregnant wife send you out at 8 in the morning to buy this candy?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “For the love of God, man! Get these home to her before you’re in even more trouble! You can come back and pay me later!”

(The customer bolts out the door. He later came back, visibly calmer, and paid.)

The Customer Is Sometimes Right

| Savannah, GA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “You don’t have any candy apples?”

Me: “No, ma’am, we only make them on Fridays and they usually sell out before the weekend is over.”

Customer: “Oh. Do you get that question a lot?”

Me: “… yes.”

Customer: “I bet you get sick of it, don’t you? I bet you’re thinking, ‘B***, you see candy apples?'”

Me: *laughs*

(Sometimes, the customer is right!)