Hair Apparent

, , , , , | Right | May 5, 2010

(Two guys around 15 years old show up.)

Customer #1: “Hey, can I get one ticket to [Movie]?”

Me: “Sure. I’ll just need to see a piece of ID, please.”

Customer #1: “Oh, dang. I don’t have any ID.”

Me: “Sorry, I’m afraid I can’t sell you a ticket. It is an adult-only movie.”

Customer #1: “Can’t you just let us in anyway?”

Me: “Sorry, not without ID.”

Customer #1: “Well, hey, will this work?” *pulls out student ID card to a local high school*

Me: “It doesn’t have your birthdate on it, so, no, it won’t.

Customer #2: “Well, can we pay you to let us in?”

Customer #1: “Yeah, we’ve got money.”

Me: *laughs* “Sorry, no.”

(Ten minutes later, they return with [Customer #1] holding his finger above his upper lip.)

Customer #1: “Hey, I’ve got a mustache. Now can I have one to [Movie]?”

Me: “No.”

Customer #2: “See, I told you that wouldn’t work!”


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Last Of The NonFictions

, , | Right | May 4, 2010

(I am a customer and I have been looking all over for a certain book. I see someone reading it.)

Me: “Excuse me, but could you show me where you found that?”

Girl: “Yeah, just follow me!”

(She leads me to a shelf of books.)

Girl: “I found it right there!”

Me: “I don’t see it.”

Girl: “Oh, that’s because I took the last one!”

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Not About To Start A Revolution

, , , | Right | May 3, 2010

(A young female customer is paying for a work order. Her friends are nearby.)

Me: “The tech also recommends a tire rotation.”

Customer: “Oh okay… is that something I could get a friend to do?”

Me: “If they’ve got a jack and the lug nut key, sure.”

(Her friends come over.)

Customer: *to another young female friend* “I have to rotate my tires.”

Customer’s Friend: “I thought they did that when you drive?”


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Pain In The Derrière

, , , | Right | May 2, 2010

(A customer comes up to me holding a package of naan bread.)

Customer: “What kind of bread is this?”

Me: “That’s just plain white naan.”

Customer: “They forgot the ‘L’.” *points to the words “Naan Pain” on the front of the package*

Me: “Oh, that’s French for ‘bread’.”

Customer: “So the flavor isn’t pain?”

Me: “No, sir, pain isn’t a flavor.”

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Decoration: Unknown

, , , | Right | April 27, 2010

(I’m contacting a customer because they’ve neglected to write down the postal code for their delivery address.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Warehouse]. I was wondering if you could provide me with the postal code so that I can get this order delivered to you.”

Customer: *sighs* “You really need that?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer:  “Oh. I thought it was just a decoration.”

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