Unfeasible Fees

, , , , | Right | July 9, 2010

Customer: “I don’t like these hidden fees! You guys never told me I would have a fee for this!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, however, we did send you documentation when you opened your account, and the fees were clearly explained.”

Customer: “No one reads those! I shred the mail as soon as I receive it!”

Me: “It’s also on our website if you’d like to have a look.”

Customer: “I don’t have a computer. You can’t expect people to go online to search for your hidden fees. I bet if I go on the site, it won’t even be there!”

Me: “If you’d like I can tell you all our fees over the phone right now; I’d be more than happy to.”

Customer: “I don’t have time for that! Do I look like someone who has time for that?”

Me: “Would you like me to re-mail you the agreement of the account? You’d receive it five business days.”

Customer: “You’re not even listening. You’re an idiot! I told you, I shred my mail when I get it!”

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Stupidity Killed The Radio Star

, , , , , | Right | July 8, 2010

(I work at a radio station. This caller is live on the air.)

Me: “Hello! What would you like to hear?”

Teenage Girl:Fireflies!”

Me: “By Owl City?”

Teenage Girl: “Woah! I hear my voice!”

Me: “Yeah, you’re on the air.”

Teenage Girl: “Molly! If you can hear this, I’m so totally sorry about kissing your brother!”

Me: “Uh…”

Teenage Girl: “Are you going to play I Like Big Butts or not?”

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What Wheels Around, Comes Around

, , , | Right | July 7, 2010

(I am a paralegal at a small law office. It’s 5:01 pm; I answer one last call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Law Office].”

Caller: “What time are you open until?”

Me: “We close at 5:00 pm.”

Caller: “Oh, so you can’t help me today?”

Me: “Well, all the lawyers are gone for the day, but maybe I can help you. What did you need?”

Caller: “I need a motorized wheelchair. Can you bring a few over so I can see them? See, I’m in a wheelchair and disabled so it’s hard for me to get around.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is a lawyers’ office.”

Caller: “Lawyers, what lawyers? I don’t need no lawyers to get a wheelchair!”

Me: “No, it’s a law office; perhaps you misdialed.”

Caller: “Listen, I don’t think you understand. I need a motorized wheelchair. My worker has been saying that he’d make the arrangements for me but he’s said that for months.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is a lawyers’ office. I simply cannot bring wheelchairs to your home.”

Caller: “So you won’t bring me a wheelchair? I’m disabled and I can’t get out of the house. This is discrimination and I know my rights! You’ll be hearing from my lawyer!”


This story is part of our roundup about customers who are bad listeners!

Read the next story in the bad listening customers roundup!

Read the bad listening customers roundup!

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Sharing Ones Loss

, , , , , | Right | July 2, 2010

(Students are required to show their student ID cards when borrowing a book. Two students walk up to the front desk.)

Student #1: “Hi, I’d like to borrow this book for my friend here.” *hands me their student ID card*

Me: “If your friend would like that book, then she needs to bring her own ID card and borrow it herself. I can’t let you borrow it for her in case she causes any damage or loses it.”

Student #1: “Oh. But she’s very responsible. She wouldn’t damage or lose it.”

(I turn to the second student.)

Me: “Where is your student ID card?”

Student #2: “I lost it.”

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Hollywood, M.D.

, , , , | Right | July 1, 2010

(A customer comes to the counter with a bleeding hand.)

Customer: “Have you got a first aid kit back there? I caught my hand and it’s bleeding.”

Me: “Of course. I’ll go get it.”

(I come back with the kit and take out some antibiotic ointment and some bandages.)

Customer: “Oh, I shouldn’t need the bandages.”

Me: “Are you sure? It’s bleeding quite a lot.”

Customer: “Well, that ointment will just fix it, won’t it?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “That stuff you’ve got in your hand; that’ll just heal it up, right?”

Me: “This helps it heal faster and prevents it from getting infected, but it doesn’t heal it immediately.”

Customer: “Don’t you have the stuff that just fixes it right away?”

Me: “I don’t believe they have anything that does that, ma’am.”

Customer: “They do, I saw it before!”

Me: “Where did you see it?”

Customer: “I saw it on some movie. I don’t want that stuff there. I want the stuff I saw in the movie. Just get that stuff and fix this already, will you?”

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