I’m four months pregnant with my son. Though I’m not very far along, I’m showing quite a bit, and it’s become difficult to sit in the normal desks of the lecture hall. One day, I get tired of squeezing into them and just sit in the handicapped desks (which have been unoccupied all semester). It happens that, on this day, we start having a guest lecturer, since our professor had to get surgery mid-semester.

The lecturer stops me after class and berates me for sitting in a handicapped spot. I explain that I don’t fit into the other desks, and that it’s the only spot that can fit me. She proceeds to tell me that she doesn’t care, that I should just sit in the normal desks.

Next class, I sit at a normal desk in the front row sideways (since that’s literally the only way I fit). After class, the lecturer once again berates me and tells me to sit properly. I once again, tell her that I’m pregnant and there’s nothing I can really do. She then proceeds to tell me to lose weight, or my baby will end up being a “fat roll.”

Upset, I email my professor, asking for advice on what to do. I don’t get a response. However, I return to class for the next lesson and sit in the handicapped spot, unwilling to be uncomfortable for a two-hour lecture. When the lecture is over and the lecturer is berating me again, and a man in a suit comes up behind her and asks her to join him in the hallway.

Turned out, my original professor was very unimpressed by this behavior, and sent a anti-discrimination representative to observe her behavior. After her proving my claims correct, the man informed her that her behavior could land her in a whole lot of trouble with the code of conduct, and get her fired. She said nothing to me for the rest of the time she lectured us. Thankfully, she was the only professor to ever care or comment that I was pregnant.

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a book about the history of mathematics. Can you help me?”

Me: “Sure, do you want a book that’s in French or in English?”

Customer: “In mathematic!”

Customer: “What sort of alcohol would you recommend for a single lady in her mid 30s who lives by herself?”

Me: “Cats.”

(I am the prospective customer. The employee in question is either working too hard, or not hard enough.)

Me: *answering phone at home* “Hello.”

Telemarketer: *heavy accent* “Hello, my name is Michael Jordan and I’m offering duct cleaning services.”

Me: “Michael, the spokesperson deals not paying enough after your b-ball career?”

(My first job as a teenager was front line and baker of a famous Canadian coffee house that was branded with a major tourist company that does highway convenience, airports, hotels, etc. Since I was only 15-18 when I was working there, I had to rely on my mother to drive me in and pick me up since I didn’t get my G2 driver’s license until college. I was only available weekends since I had dance classes during the week, but my managers and supervisors would look over this fact and would proceed to call me during class times almost every week. This happens during a math test where my teacher has had enough. Side note: I had my ringer on due to a family emergency and my teacher knew of this.)

Classroom: *silent*

(Cue Irish Rock to begin blaring from my hoodie pocket.)

Teacher: “Go ahead, [My Name]. You can finish your test at a later date.”

Me: *checks phone to see if it is [Family Member] and my caller display is saying [Work]* “Uh, it’s work.”

Teacher: “Are you serious? Give it to me.” *hands over phone, with my teacher now speaking to my manager* “Yes, hello! You’ve reached [My Name]’s cell phone. No, you may not. She’s taking a test. Well, I’m not letting you talk to her. Why? Again, she’s taking a test and you disrupted the rest of the classroom. Yes, you’d better apologize. This isn’t the first time I’ve had to speak to [My Name] about how you’re constantly calling her to come into work at short notice. She doesn’t drive, and is currently in second period. She has classes until 2:30 and club activities right after. If she receives another call during the day like this again, I will be reporting you to your superiors for your incompetence in understanding your employee’s schedule. It not a threat; this is a promise. All of her teachers are quite annoyed with this habit you’ve created. Now break it and leave the girl alone during the weekday. Goodbye.” *hangs up and passes my phone back* “Put your pencils down everyone. We’re going outside to let off some steam; AKA, I need to run this off!”

(When I went into work that Saturday, they apologized and asked me to give my teachers some gift cards for disrupting them.)