(The store I work at sells a particular European brand that is sold in several countries. The brand prints their own price tag with the prices for each country, in that country’s currency, listed beside a small picture of the country’s flag. I regularly have to show customers which price is accurate to Canada, but this one was my favourite.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I can’t find a price on here.”

Me: “Oh, yes, I know it’s confusing. It’s the price beside the Canadian flag, here at the bottom.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t think that’s right. See, this price here is cheaper. I think it should be this one.” *points to the British price, which is the lowest number on the tag*

Me: “I’m afraid that isn’t how it works, ma’am. This brand sells internationally, so they print the prices in different currencies. That price is in British pounds, so the cost is actually roughly the same.”

Customer: *stares blankly* “But this price is lower.”

Me: “Well, the British Pound is actually worth almost twice what the Canadian Dollar is, so while it looks like it costs less, the rate of exchange would put the prices almost equal. Regardless, the Canadian price is the one listed beside the Canadian flag, and we can’t sell it for anything else.”

Customer: “But this price is cheaper. I want this price.”

Me: *internal sigh*

(Eventually I just directed her to a similar shirt from a different brand that only had one price on it, which she bought. That shirt happened to cost $10 more than the Canadian price on the other shirt.)

(This particular event was rarely repeated during my career where I worked. A customer calls in requesting a particular service and is not happy when I inform them that they will not be receiving what they are requesting.)

Customer: “I’ll have you know that [Company] is owned by the government and you work for me.”

Me: “And I’ll have you know that [Company] is publicly traded on the Toronto Stock Exchange and I own shares in the company.”

Customer: “…”

(I am in a popular restaurant here in Canada, and if you don’t know, poutine is a Canadian treat with french fries, gravy, and cheese curds. Those are items all poutines have.)

Me: *giving my order to the waitress* “Could I get a poutine instead of fries, please?”

Waitress: “Would you like gravy on your poutine?”

Me: “Err, yes, please.”

(I have been DJing weddings and all kinds of events for many years and am vigilant about the content of the music and my audience. A lady approaches my table early on at a wedding after I had played the song “Brown Eyed Girl” By Van Morrison.)

Guest: *angrily* “This song is inappropriate.”

Me: “I’m sorry if you think so but I’ve played this song for years and never had a complaint.”

Guest: “The line ‘making love in green grass’ is not appropriate for children.”

Me: “I do apologize, ma’am.”

(The rest of the night I ended up playing quite a lot of top-40 music with much worse content but “Brown Eyed Girl” was the one that was inappropriate.)

(I am the supervisor of a truck-stop restaurant. The restaurant closed at 10:00 pm, but the store and fuel-bar stay open 24 hours, so we use a gate that we can pull across to close off the restaurant. I also put up a large sign in front of the gate that says “restaurant closed.” I am doing closing duties after putting up the sign and pulling the gate across (but not locking it yet as I need to get back and forth) when a customer opens the gate and proceeds to walk into a section of the restaurant with no lights on.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’re closed.”

Customer: “What? What time do you close?”

Me: “We closed at 10:00.”

Customer: “So you’re not open?”

Me: “Nope, sorry.”

Customer: “Well… can I order food?”

Me: “Sorry, but the grills and everything else are turned off. Everything’s been put away. I can’t serve you anything.”

Customer: “Can I just get something to go?”

Me: “Nope, sorry. I can’t get you anything.”

Customer: “But I can get a burger and eat it here right?”

Me: “Sir, I can’t serve you at all tonight. I’m sorry but you’ll have to leave.”

Customer: “OH! You’re closed!”

Me: “Yup. Sorry.”

(There is an uncomfortably long silence before the customer says:)

Customer: “I’m not getting food, am I?”