Canada: America’s Hat, Part 2

, , | Right | October 4, 2011

(The majority of the customers coming into this shop are from off of the cruise ships and mainly American.)

Me: “Is there anything I can help you with today, ma’am?”

Customer: “Um, yes…could you tell me where I am?”

Me: “Yup, you’re in Canada.”

Customer: “And where is Canada?”

Me: “Um, well, if you look at a map, it’s that large country on top of your country.”

Customer: “Oh.”

(She looked baffled by this new piece of information and slowly turned around and walked away.)

 

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Words Jail Me

, , , | Right | August 12, 2011

(I work at a coffee shop in a botanical garden. I am serving a couple that has difficulty speaking English.)

Customer #1: “Also, can we have a kidnap?”

Me: “I beg your pardon?”

Customer #2: “Can we have a kidnap?”

Me: “You…want me to kidnap you?”

Customer #1: “No! No! I want…a kidnap!”

Customer #2: “You know, kidnap!”

(She forms a square with her fingers.)

Me: “Oh, do you want a napkin?”

Customer #1: “Yes, kidnap!”

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Yukon Call Them

, , , | Right | June 22, 2011

Caller: “Hello, this is [name] from [company]. I’m calling to get the satellite hooked up.”

Me: “I’m sorry, could you say that again?”

Caller: “This is [name] from [company] in Guyana. You know, Guyana, South America. We ordered satellite service last week.”

(Our company has nothing to do with satellites. We do not have service anywhere near Guyana. I explain as such to the caller.)

Caller: “Oh. Well, where are you located? Brazil?”

Me: “No, sir. We’re up in Canada.”

Caller: “Oh dear, I DO have the wrong number, don’t I?”

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The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 4

, , , , , | Right | May 31, 2011

(The customer is a middle-aged male, wearing a tweed jacket and thick glasses. He’s buying all of the ‘Twilight’ books.)

Me: “Did you find everything you were looking for?”

Customer: “Yes, unfortunately. I’m really not looking forward to reading these.”

Me: “Oh, why not?”

Customer: “Well, I’m an English professor. Every time I reference low forms of literature, I always use Twilight as the example. Today a student asked if I’ve actually read them, and I had to say no. They demanded that I do.”

(He hung his head in shame.)

 

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RAIDed Storage

, , , , , , , | Right | May 27, 2011

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I need my hard drive put back into my computer.”

Me: “Okay. Why did you take it out? Is it defective?”

Customer: “No, and I didn’t.”

Me: “Well, who did?”

Customer: “The police…”

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