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Unaware Of My Space

, , , | Right | April 22, 2010

(It is a few minutes after closing time and we lock the door. Moments later I hear the sound of breaking glass. I rush over and see a woman on the ground surrounded by glass. She had tried to walk through the door and broke it.)

Me: “Miss, are you all right?! Are you hurt anywhere?”

Customer: “No! No… I think I’m fine.”

Me: “Miss, let me show you somewhere to sit while we wait for security and the ambulance.”

Customer: “No! I don’t have time, d*** it! I have to go write this in my blog!” *runs off*

Quite Rightly, Waiting Impolitely Is Unsightly

, , , , , | Right | April 14, 2010

(The restaurant is very busy, so food wait time is longer than usual.)

Table #1: “When is our food coming out? This is ridiculous; we’ve been waiting twenty minutes!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We are very busy right now, but I’ll be bringing out your food very shortly.”

Table #1: “Well, I hope so! You’re the worst server we’ve ever had!”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. Like I said, it’ll be out shortly.”

(I move to another table.)

Me: “I’m really sorry about the wait, I’ve checked on your food and it will be out shortly. I’m so sorry. I realize you’ve been waiting.”

Table #2: “That’s not a problem at all… Don’t worry about it.”

Me: “I’d like to offer you your meals on the house, and thank you again for your patience.”

Table #1: *overhearing* “How come WE don’t get our meals on the house?”

Table #2: *to [Table #1]* “Because WE’VE been waiting POLITELY!”

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Imagine If It Had Been India…

, , | Right | April 13, 2010

Caller: “So, where are you located?”

Me: “Canada.”

Caller: “Oh, my God! I’m speaking to Canada!”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “Wow, you speak English really good!”

Me: “Uh, thank you?”

Caller: *yells to husband excitedly* “Hey, Bobby! I’m speaking to a foreign country!”

Product May Require A Certain Level Of Manurity

, , , , | Right | April 12, 2010

(A customer lifts a bag of steer manure onto the counter.)

Customer: “I’ve got a question. What makes steer manure different from mushroom manure?”

Me: “Well, steer manure is made from the droppings of–”

Customer: “Wait. You said droppings? As in waste?”

Me: “Yes, manure is made from decomposed waste.”

Customer: “So… what exactly is a steer?”

Me: “It’s just another name for a cow.”

Customer: “So steer manure is… Oh, God. Oh, God!” *leaves without buying the manure*

Driving On The Blind Side Of Caution

, , , | Right | April 9, 2010

(A couple comes up to me and points to the traffic intersection just outside the store.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what is that strange beeping sound that is happening when the lights change?”

Me: “Oh, that is the audio signal system to let blind or visually impaired people know when to cross the street. Each way has its own sound.”

Customer’s Wife: “You let your blind people drive?!”