Trying To Put The Finger On The Problem Child

, , , , , | Learning | September 19, 2017

(The school I work at has a great program in the summer, where international students come to Canada and check out the school. During their time, they experience Canadian culture and practice their English skills. We do have some young students come as well, and I work with a group of 7-11’s. Before class starts, I notice that there is some bullying happening. Since they’re the younger group, often when I speak to them, I use a lot of visuals or hand signs to communicate. I decide to address the issues I have seen.)

Me: “Morning, everybody. Before we get started, I just wanted to remind everybody about the rules we decided on for the class. One was treating each other with respect, and I did not see that this morning. Remember: in this classroom, we only say positive things. So only this:” *gives thumbs up* “None of this:” *gives thumbs down*

Student: “Or this.” *gives me the middle finger*

(I had a moment of shock, and then told the student to wait outside while I called the supervisor to come talk to him. However, I was really thinking about what a good segue that was, and how I couldn’t admit I was impressed.)

A Fiery Proposal

, , , | Working | September 19, 2017

(My friend works at a bulk foods store.)

Supervisor: “Hey, [Friend], I need to have a quick talk with you.”

Friend: “Sure. What’s up?”

Supervisor: “I’m afraid we’re going to have to let you go.”

Friend: “What? I don’t understand. Why? I’m still only being trained, and I’ve been complimented on my quick performance.”

Supervisor: “It’s not about you. Despite being understaffed and needing to hire more employees, corporate just gave us a call and ordered us to fire half our staff. It’s not just you, but a lot of long-time employees are leaving, too.”

Friend: “Half the employees? That doesn’t sound right; how does a store this big operate with less than a dozen people?”

Supervisor: “I don’t know. It probably won’t. I’m so sorry for this; it wasn’t our intention to waste your time.”

(My friend took it well, despite the disappointment. From what I heard, they worked off of a skeleton crew, even during the holidays. The store is still open, shockingly. As far as I’m aware the chain, wasn’t going through financial troubles, and there was no news of mass layoffs at other stores.)

Not Emotionally Scarred

, , , | Right | September 18, 2017

(I have a scar on my jawline. It’s not super noticeable, but it’s there. I also have an excuse I use if anyone asks me about it and I don’t want to explain it.)

Customer: “Oh, hey, you have a little something there.”

Me: “I do?”

Customer: “Yeah, right there, by your jaw.”

Me: “Oh, yeah, that’s from when I got in a knife fight with a bear. You should see the other guy!”

Customer: “Umm, uh, really?”

Me: “I know, right? Who gives a bear a knife? They have talons already.”

Customer: *finally cluing in* “Oh, my God! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to offend you!”

Me: “It’s okay; I have thick skin. See, right here!” *points at scar*

A Fallen Branch

, , , , | Working | September 18, 2017

(There has been a lot of anxiety in my office that our branch is in trouble. One of the vice presidents from the United States decides to pay us a visit to address our concerns.)

Vice President: “There is absolutely nothing to be worried about! Your branch is a valued member of the company. Here, I’ll show you. Here’s an organizational chart showing all of the branches.”

(We all stare at the chart and look at each other in disbelief. The vice president, not noticing anything wrong, beams at us. Finally, someone puts up his hand.)

Employee: “Um, Ms. [Vice President], our branch isn’t on that chart.”

Vice President: “What? Of course it is!”

Several Employees: “Really? Where is it, then?”

Vice President: “It’s right… um… oh.” *puts chart away, changes the subject*

(The branch closed several years later, putting a lot of people out of work.)

Petting Is Not In The Cards

, , , , , | Related | September 18, 2017

(Mom, Dad, and I are sitting around the dinner table playing cards. I am distracted by the cat, who is letting me pet him.)

Mom: “Stop petting the cat. We’re playing cards.”

Me: “But he’s cute!”

Mom: “I think your father’s cute, but you don’t see me petting him all the time!” *pause* “Or at all.”

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