Barking About Parking

, , , , , , | Friendly | April 3, 2018

(I am picking up my girlfriend from her piano lesson. As I pull up to her piano teacher’s house, the car in the driveway next door starts reversing out into the street. Not wanting to get in the car’s way, I pull over to the side of the road and put the car in park. I text my girlfriend that I am here and sit down with the radio on, playing a game on my phone. After about a minute, I hear a knocking on my car window. I look out, and the car that pulled out before has reversed next to me, and a middle-aged woman has got out and is knocking on my window. I open the door a bit.)

Me: “Hi! What’s up?”

Woman: *screaming* “YOU CAN’T PARK HERE! THIS STREET IS NO PARKING!”

Me: *taken aback* “It’s okay; I’m just picking up my girlfriend.”

Woman: “WHICH HOUSE DOES SHE LIVE IN?”

(I point.)

Woman: “WELL, THEN, YOU SHOULD PARK IN THE DRIVEWAY!”

Me: “Okay.”

(She then jumps into her car and peels off down the street without another word. I check my phone; I have been stopped less than a minute at this point. I see that my girlfriend has texted me that she is coming out. Not thirty seconds later, the woman’s car comes tearing down the street at twice the speed limit, in reverse! She drives her car into the piano teacher’s driveway — blocking me off — leaps out of her car, runs up to the piano teacher’s door, and starts knocking furiously. Once the piano teacher opens the door, the woman starts screaming and cussing, mostly unintelligibly, about how I am parked illegally. By this time, I have pulled off the street into the only driveway available to me: the woman’s driveway. She sees me there, and her eyes almost bulge out of their sockets.)

Woman: “HE WASN’T PARKED THERE BEFORE! HE WAS PARKED ON THE STREET!”

Me: “I had to park here; you blocked off the driveway.”

Woman: “YOU CAN’T PARK ON THE STREET! YOU CAN’T PARK HERE! WHY DON’T YOU GO AWAY?!”

Me: *fed up* “You need to leave, right now, or I am going to call the police.”

(At that, she jumps back into her car and squeals off. My girlfriend and her piano teacher come out, looking shocked.)

Girlfriend: “What the heck was all that about? I couldn’t make sense of any of her screaming.”

Piano Teacher: “Yeah, she’s nuts. Luckily, she is almost never home. Plus, she always has her guests park on the street, sometimes for days at a time.”

Their Brain Is Already Fried

, , | Right | April 2, 2018

Me: “Would you like fries with your burger?”

Customer: “Does it come with fries?”

Me: “The combo does, but you could also just get the burger alone.”

Customer: “Well, did I get the combo?”

Me: “Did you want the combo?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Would you like fries, or just a burger?”

Customer: “Do the fries come with it?”

Self-Serving Verbal Abuse

, , , | Right | April 2, 2018

(I am currently booking in a full-service copy order with a customer when I realize that a line is forming. Just as I am paging for someone to come help me, a woman in the self-serve area yells at me. The self-serve computer she is using is for editing files, scanning, or printing from the Internet. It has Windows 7 on it, so it isn’t some weird computer with an unfamiliar setup or anything. It charges your credit card per minute of use.)

Customer: “Can I get some help over here?!”

Coworker: “Sorry, I’m not familiar with this department, and I have to help with the line-up, but as soon as [My Name] is free, she can give you a hand.”

(I smile at the customer in self-serve and then continue with the customers I am already with.)

Customer: “Excuse me?! I’m still waiting!”

Me: “Oh, you can pause that so you don’t get charged while you’re waiting.”

(I then turn back to my current customers, but the woman in self-serve gives me no time to finish up.)

Customer: “I have no idea what I’m doing!”

Me: “Right, so, pause it so it doesn’t keep charging you, and I’ll be over when I’m done.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I have a baby in the car right now who’s probably screaming…”

(I almost say, “ALONE?!”, but then she starts talking again.)

Customer: “…with my boyfriend. And I can’t leave them out there!”

(I’m sort of speechless at this point.)

Me: “Um… I have to finish with my customers here, first. It’s really busy right now.”

Customer: “I have been waiting for so long, and you guys are all helping people over at the cash, instead!”

Me: “Well, that’s a self-serve computer.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous!”

Me: “I can still help you; you just have to wait until we’re free.”

Customer: “YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE IGNORANT TO THE CUSTOMERS!”

(She storms out, yelling about how we’re rude and ignorant. When I’m finishing up with my customers, I notice that she hasn’t even logged off from the computer and it is still charging her. I go over and log her off, and then another customer approaches me.)

Next Customer: “How do I use the self-serve copiers? Do I need a card?”

Me: “Yes, you need a credit card or a copy card.”

Next Customer: “Oh, I’ll just wait until you’re free and pay to have you do it for me behind the counter. And I won’t verbally abuse you.”

That’s Some Shifty Excuse

, , , , | Working | April 2, 2018

(My friend goes into a popular fast food place one day and orders four soft-serve cones. We are all travelling together in a car.)

Server: “Could you wait 15 minutes?”

Friend: “Why? Is the machine broken or being cleaned?”

Server: “No, I’ll be done by then and I won’t have to make them. So, are you going to wait?”

Friend: *pause* “No.”

Unfiltered Story #108195

, | Unfiltered | April 2, 2018

(It’s my high school graduation and my mom and I are shopping for the dress. I am a bit chunky, but still able to shop in the regular stores. We are browsing the selection of one of the only two dress stores in my city when the clerk comes over, a somewhat fussy looking middle-aged man.)

Clerk: “Good afternoon, madam. And how may I be of service today?”

Mom: “We’re looking for a grad dress for my daughter here.”

The clerk looks me over, and says with a bit of a curl in his lip and makes a tsking sound with his teeth. “Okayyyyy, I see we’ll need one of the LARGER sizes! ” , heavily emphasizing the word, and starts leading us to a rack. He was surprised when we left.

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