A Contest For The Ages

, , , , | Right | June 11, 2017

Customer: “Why do all your shirts say ‘Canada 1867’?”

Me: “Oh, that’s because it’s Canada’s 150th year.”

Customer: “Oh, wow. Hey, babe!” *calls to his pregnant wife and two young children* “It’s Canada’s 150th. Who knew?” *to me* “Guess that’s another thing the US beats you at!”

Punched Out And Ready For A Punch Up

, , , , , | Right | June 11, 2017

(I am working as a cashier supervisor at a large store. I’ve just clocked out since my coworker has taken over to do the closing shift. A cashier stops me as I’m about to leave the store, not in any uniform and clearly dressed in my winter outdoor clothing.)

Cashier: “Hey [My Name], [Coworker] is busy. Can you override this markdown on your way out?”

Me: “No problem.”

Customer: “I’d suggest you get here a little faster next time.”

Me: “I’d suggest you don’t take that tone with me. I barely get paid enough to give a f*** about you when I am on the clock. I certainly don’t care when I’m punched out.”

(The cashier high-fived me and I smirked and walked out the door.)

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An Aww-Inspiring Encounter

, , , , | Friendly | June 11, 2017

(I have come down with an extremely sore throat, to the extent that swallowing hurts so much it causes me to tear up. The only way I am able to fall asleep is to tilt my head down and constantly drool onto my pillow so that I will not be woken up by the pain of swallowing my spit. The only thing that makes the pain tolerable is to constantly suck on lozenges. After a couple days I run out, and go to the store for more. I head to the display they were at before, and see that the sale is no longer on.)

Me: “Awwww…”

(I start to reach for the shelf that held my favourite flavour, only to realize it was sold out.)

Me: “Awwww…”

(I start to reach for my next-favourite flavour, but find that shelf is also empty.)

Me: “Awwww…”

(The customer beside me couldn’t help herself and cracked up. I explained my thought process in my very raspy voice, and I shared a painful laugh with her, which was a high point of the whole experience. Especially considering that, after days of sucking on what is essentially a medicated candy pretty much every waking moment, completely ignoring the recommended daily limit, I ended up developing sores in my mouth in addition to the nasty throat. And now I know why there is a recommended daily limit.)

Not Their ‘Area’ Of Expertise

, , , | Right | June 8, 2017

(Our province has two area codes which divide the province into zones. A third area code is added to one of the zones which means that people in that zone can no longer use seven-digit local dialing, and have to use the area code for ten-digit local dialing instead. There has been a fair amount of advertising of this new protocol. I am working as a telephone operator.)

Caller: “I’m trying to make a call and it won’t go through.”

Me: “Ah, yes. What is happening is that a new area code has been added and now you have to dial all 10-digits of the telephone number including the area code for local calling.”

Caller: *angrily* “NO, I don’t have to dial the area code!”

Me: “…”

(I think for a moment.)

Me: “Well, ultimately you ARE right. You don’t have to dial the area code. Unless of course you want your calls to go through.”

Caller: “F*** you, a**-hole!” *click*

Not The Photo-Perfect Day You Were Expecting

, , , , | Working | June 8, 2017

(This happened to my dad a long time ago. He and Mum had recently emigrated from Britain and didn’t know very many people in their new Canadian city, so when his boss invites him and Mum to Boss’s daughter’s wedding, it is a very nice surprise. Mum is thrilled by the invitation, and she pinches pennies so that she and Dad can afford decent clothes for the event as well as a babysitter for me.)

Boss: “Ah, [Dad], there you are! Here, you’ll need this.” *hands Dad a camera*

Dad: “What’s this for?”

Boss: “To take photos of the wedding and reception, of course.”

Dad: “But… I’m not a photographer. Didn’t you hire one?”

Boss: “Why pay some photographer good money when all you need is a camera and someone to use it?”

Dad: “But that means I’ll be leaving my wife alone for a large part of the day, and she doesn’t know anyone.”

Boss: “Oh, she’ll be fine.”

(Dad gave up at that point. Poor Mum had a miserable lonely day, since she was quite shy and no-one bothered to try to include her in their conversations. Dad did his best to take some nice photographs, but unbeknownst to him, the camera had jammed after the first couple of pictures. He didn’t realize this, because the camera wasn’t one with which he was familiar. So, because Boss was too cheap to pay a professional photographer, his daughter didn’t get any photos of her big day. I always wonder what she had to say to her father about that.)

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