Pokémon Go Away

, , , , | Friendly | June 5, 2017

(I’m flying home after a trip to Asia. I’m on the last leg of my route, which is a three-hour flight from Vancouver to my hometown. The entertainment screens on the plane are out of order for the flight, so I pull out my Nintendo DS to play some Pokémon. After a few minutes of playing, I realize the child sitting next to me, who is probably around eight years old, has his eyes glued to the screen.)

Me: “Do you like Pokémon?”

Child: “I LOVE Pokémon! I even have a Charizard card at home!”

(Because Nintendo updated their system a few years ago, I’ve actually got two Nintendo DS systems since the games aren’t compatible with each other; one super old Nintendo DS Lite and one of the newer Nintendo New 3DS XL. I pull the older system out of my bag and offer it to the child.)

Me: “Do you want to play too?”

(The child gets a huge smile on his face and turns to ask his mum if it’s all right. She nods. I set the DS up, and hand it to the child. After a few minutes she looks over to see what the child is doing.)

Mum: “Um, no. He wanted that one.” *she points to the system I’m using* “He wants the new one. The one you gave him is too old.”

Me: “The old one works just fine, actually. And there’s a bigger variety of games. Besides, I just got this system and I’m not comfortable lending it out yet. Sorry.”

Mum: “No, it’s too old. Give him the new one. You’re probably not really even using it. You’re too old for Pokémon. Let him use it.” *reaches for my system*

Me: “Whoa, ma’am, no. This is mine. I’m using it. The one I lent your son works just fine. Look, he’s happy playing on that one. I’m not giving you this one.”

(She scowls at me, reaches up and pushes the “call flight attendant” button. As soon as the flight attendant arrives, she starts rambling on about how I won’t give her son back -his- DS. Meanwhile, the son is completely oblivious to what is going on and is engulfed in the Pokémon game.)

Mum: “He offered to share, and now she won’t give back the game! I demand you make her give my son back his game!”

Me: “What? No! I can assure you these are both my systems. Look, both the chargers are in my bag, along with multiple games and cases. And, if you look on the systems they both have my personal information in them. I can show you. They both even have stickers on the bottom with my full name and phone number in case I lose them.”

Mum: “NO! She’s lying! She did that while we went to the bathroom! She’s trying to steal my son’s games! GIVE IT BACK!”

(She lunges for my DS again. The poor flight attendant looks extremely confused, and meekly suggests we just put the games away. Then the passenger in front of us turns around.)

Passenger: “Geez, lady, will you shut the hell up. I’ve heard everything. This nice young lady so graciously offered to let your son play Pokémon on a system she wasn’t using. Now you’ve gone and messed it up because he didn’t get the system you thought he should have. Just look at him. He’s completely happy with that one. Now you’ve ruined it.”

(This seems like enough for the flight attendant who then asks to take a look at both systems. She sees the stickers I placed on the bottom and confirms that they are indeed mine. Then she asks if I wouldn’t mind putting them away. I oblige and put them back in my backpack. The child looks absolutely devastated, and the mother is fuming. She’s insisting I stole the systems from her, and that she’s going to call the police once we land. The flight attendant confirms that yes, police will be there, but only to escort her from the plane. The lady goes pale, and says absolutely nothing for the remainder of the flight. Just before we land, I apologize to the child.)

Me: “Look, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

Child: “It’s okay. It wasn’t your fault. She ruins everything.”

(I tried to find the child in the airport after we landed to secretly slip him the old DS and Pokémon game since I don’t really use it much, but I couldn’t find him.)

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Unfiltered Story #87851

, , | Unfiltered | June 3, 2017

Seemingly normal day. Customer 1’s husband was asking questions so I was answering him and ignoring her random mutterings. They chose a dog door. Later, the wife brings it back to exchange for a bigger size. Huge note here, we don’t keep customer information in our system. We never take addresses and our store will never call a customer unless asked.

Me: Sorry that one didn’t work, this one should be good though.

Customer: I guess its good for you because now I have to pay more money.

Me: It won’t be too much.

(Put in small item as a return, the system then prompts for a name, and then later a phone number.)

Me: Can I get your name for the return? (at this point the customer looks shocked and immediately raises her voice)

Customer: I’M NOT GIVING YOU MY NAME I HAD MY IDENTITY STOLEN

Me: I’m sorry, I just need a name for the return. Even a nickname.

Customer: I GOT MY IDENTITY STOLEN YOU DONT NEED ANYTHING

Me: We don’t use this information unless absolutely necessary, and it is rarely used. Company policy says that I need it to do your return.

Customer: YOU ARENT GETTING ANYTHING I HAD MY IDENTITY STOLEN (goes on saying random things and generally being angry)

Me: (looks at my manager) ok just… what do I even do here?

Customer 2: (after customer 1 leaves, customer 2 walks up with purchases, looking at me with eyebrows raised) well, that was a weird one.

(I have no idea why this crazy lady felt the need to yell at me in front of a lineup, when earlier I made sure to explain that returns require a name and number.)

Fresh Line-Caught Vegetables

, , , , | Right | June 2, 2017

Employee: “What can I get for you, sir?

Customer: “Roast beef on white.”

Employee: “And what kind of vegetables would like on your sandwich, sir?”

Customer: “Tuna.”

Employee: “I’m sorry, sir, but we usually do not consider tuna to be a vegetable.”

Customer: “DO IT!”

Employee: “Sir, tuna is not—”

Customer: “TUNA! DO IT!”

(The employee eventually gave up and the customer received his roast beef sub with tuna-vegetable.)

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You’ll Get The Meaning In Your Dreams

, , , | Romantic | June 2, 2017

Husband: “Hey, [My Name]. I was reading about dream interpretation.”

Me: “Oh, cool.”

Husband: “I looked up a dream I had last night on [Dream Website] and it’s pretty accurate. Can I try yours?”

Me: “I don’t think you will be able to.”

Husband: “Did you forget your dream?”

Me: “No, but it’s probably just a weird, meaningless dream.”

Husband: “Tell me anyway. It’s probably on there.”

Me: “Uh…okay. Last night I had a dream where I turned on the car radio and it was Barney the dinosaur singing to the tune of ‘If you’re happy and you know it’, ‘The Cheeto in the middle will not bark; the Cheeto in the middle will not bark’ and saying ‘Yeah, it’s Tuesday!’”

Husband: “Yeah… that’s not on here.”

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That… Wasn’t Fish

, , , | Right | June 1, 2017

(I work in the seafood dept at my local grocery store.)

Me: “How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I would like a fillet of fish, please.”

Me: “Ok, what kind of fish, sir?”

Customer: “A fillet of fish!”

(I inform him that a fillet is not a type of fish but a type of cut, like a steak.)

Customer: “No, you’re wrong. I get it all the time at [Fast Food Restaurant]!”

(I repeat what a fillet is, and show the customer a sign on our table reading “Salmon fillet” to get my point across)

Customer: “What the h*** have I been eating at [Fast Food Restaurant]?!”

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