(Some cities in one Canadian province charge $5 for library memberships. My city, in a different province, does not charge. Nonetheless, we get a written complaint:)
Complaint: “In [City], where I used to live, they give you a free tote bag when you join the library. I was disappointed not to get a free bag with my purchase of a library membership.”
(That tote bag is worth $1, so they just complained about saving $4.)
Customer: “I have an extended warranty for my shredder here.”
Me: “Okay.” *I look at receipt* “Um, this is from 2006.”
Customer: “No, it’s from 2009.”
Me: “Nope, this is from 2006. See the date here, how it says, ‘09/01/06’? That means it was purchased on September 1, 2006.”
Customer: “No, the ‘09’ is the year. The year is listed first.”
Me: “No, the year is last.” *I grab a recently-printed receipt to show her* “See?”
Customer: “Then it must have changed.”
Me: “It didn’t change. But, either way, even if this was from 2009, it’s still too long ago; the extended warranty is only good for an extra year.”
Customer: “No! This shredder is warrantied for five years, so this gives me six years total! So, even if it was purchased in 2006, you can still use it! It’s good for six years!”
Me: “2006 was nine years ago. It’s 2015.”
Customer: “It doesn’t matter! It’s from 2009!”
Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but it’s not. It’s from 2006. I haven’t even actually seen these warranty pamphlets, and I’ve been working here for seven years.”
Customer: “Well, that’s weird, because it’s from 2009!”
Me: “I don’t know what else to tell you… because it’s from 2006.”
Customer: “I don’t know what else to tell you, either, because it’s from 2009! The year is listed first!”
Nearby Associate: “No, the year is always last. I’ve actually never seen the year listed first. Anywhere.”
(My six-year-old son is flipping through the channels when something catches his attention. It appears to be a French production of the play Hamlet, which my son is familiar with.)
Son: “This is weird.”
Me: “Remember when we watched that play last month?”
Son: “Yeah!”
Me: “I thought you liked it.”
Son: “I do, but this is weird. They don’t speak French in Denmark.”
Me: “It’s in French, because this is a French channel. Do you know what language people actually speak in Denmark?”
Son: “Yeah, they speak English.”
(I would have thought nothing of this had it not been for the fact that we are Danish. Granted, he did speak to several Danish relatives on the phone in English, but still…)
(It’s my first year at university and I am still getting used to the new buses I have to take. The bus app is malfunctioning, so I have to remember my bus times from memory. I get on one bus and ask the driver a question.)
Me: “Does this bus go to [Intersection]?”
Bus Driver: “I only follow the GPS.”
Me: “I know, but it should be a stop. I just want to make sure I’m on the right bus.”
Bus Driver: “I just follow the GPS. I don’t know.”
Me: “Really?”
Bus Driver: “I just follow the GPS.”
(Since I was 90% sure I was on the right bus, I stayed on, and I was right, but what bus driver doesn’t know intersections?)
Related:
GPS: Great Practitioners Of Stupidity, Part 5
GPS: Great Practitioners Of Stupidity, Part 4
GPS: Great Practitioners Of Stupidity, Part 3
GPS: Great Practitioners Of Stupidity, Part 2
(I am a front desk agent at a local resort. The road going up to the resort is under construction during the late morning all week to widen the road. A guest comes in to check in.)
Me: “Hello there!” *starts going through the information about resort and the road closures*
Guest: “That won’t work. I have tee times then.”
Me: “Well, you could go out earlier and have breakfast in town, or you could drive around it will just take you another hour.”
Guest: “No, that won’t work.”
Me: “Well, I can’t change it, unfortunately; it’s controlled at the government level.”
Guest: “You should have called me.”
(Keep in mind, we have thousands of guests that come in, and not all the reservation information has a phone number.)
Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t always have contact information for each guest.”
Guest: “Then you should have contacted [Travel Agency] to find out.”
Me: “We unfortunately don’t have the manpower to call and find every guest to let them know about the road closures. I’m sorry. It is on our website, though.”
Guest: “I just don’t know why you couldn’t have called to let me know.”
(I realize that this the whole conversation has been a waste of everybody’s time. I pick up the keys and hand them to the guest, smiling.)
Me: “Okay, well, enjoy your stay!”
