Unfiltered Story #99632

, , , | Unfiltered | November 8, 2017

I work at the biggest theme park in Canada. I worked at one of the most popular stores in the park and., even though my shift would end at 11:30, would often stay until 12:00-12:30 on most nights.

We are given breaks every 4-5 hours and my last break was 4.5 hours ago, so I am really hungry. As I am being counted out I see a Timbits (aka doughnut holes) box in the trash.

Me: “Ooh, Timbits.” *goes to take it out*

Supervisor: “Ew [My name], it was in the trash.”

Me: “But it’s in a box so it’s okay.”

Supervisor: “Stop while I still have respect for you.”

Needless to say, I didn’t eat the Timbits but my dad did take me to 24 hours Denny’s afterwards for a late dinner.

Unfiltered Story #99523

, | Unfiltered | November 8, 2017

I used to be a reporter at a local newspaper. Twice a month, I wrote a business feature, which showcased a local business. One time, I went in to interview the owner of a sandwich and smoothie shop.

Me: “So, there are a lot of cafes like this out there these days. What makes yours unique?”

Business owner: “Hmmm. I don’t know. I should probably think of that, hey?”

(I was less than impressed with the whole interview … I didn’t even write the story. He never called to ask why.)

Giving You The 411 On Your Scam

, , , | Right | November 7, 2017

(I work as a telephone operator. We have routing and billing issues where if an operator transfers a customer to directory we are unable to bill the call, so when we get a call requesting transfer we will instruct the customer to dial 411. This weakness is quickly discovered by customers, and we get many requests for transfer, which we are to refuse and give dialing instructions, instead.)

Customer: “I want to be transferred to directory.”

Me: “Please hang up and dial 411 for directory assistance.”

Customer: “114?” *obviously engaging in social engineering*

Me: “411, sir.”

Customer: “144?”

Me: “Actually, sir, there is not much point in you calling directory, anyway.”

Customer: “Why do you say that?”

Me: “They will give you a seven-digit number. You seem to be unable to get a three-digit number correct.”

Customer: “F*** you!” *click*

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A Staple Of The Office Space Accessories

, , , , | Working | November 7, 2017

(I’m the stupid worker in this one. I pick up the phone to make a page, but while I’m dialing I realize that the phone isn’t making a dial tone. I keep pressing buttons but don’t hear anything. I turn to my coworker as they walk up to me.)

Me: “The phone’s not working. I can’t hear a dial tone or anything.”

Coworker: “That’s a stapler.”

(I look at the object in my hand and, sure enough, I have grabbed a stapler instead of the actual phone.)

Me: “Look: it’s been a long day.”

Coworker: “Apparently!”

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Lawyers Live In A Fantasy World

, , , , | Right | November 7, 2017

(A customer comes up to my till to buy a John Grisham book.)

Customer: “Oh, these books are so good!”

Me: “That’s great. I hope you enjoy this one.”

Customer: “Didn’t John Grisham publish books under another name?”

Me: “I don’t know. Not that I know of.”

Customer: “Why don’t you know?”

Me: “I just haven’t heard that. Plus, I don’t read John Grisham, so…”

Customer: “What? How can you even work at a bookstore if you don’t read John Grisham?”

Me: “Um, because I read other stuff.”

Customer: “Like what?”

Me: “Like fantasy.”

Customer: “Fan… ta… sy? Fantasy?”

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