Best To Letter Know

, , , | Right | September 11, 2017

Caller: “WHY YOU PEOPLE SEND ME LETTER?”

Me: “…is this about your rebate? Would you like me to look up the status for you?”

Caller: “YOU PEOPLE SEND ME LETTER! ONCE AND AGAIN, AND NOW TODAY! WHY?!”

Me: “Your rebate is approved, ma’am. The letter is to let you know your cheque will be issued in four to eight weeks.”

Caller: “NO MORE LETTERS! YOU STOP! I WILL CALL LAWYERS!”

Me: “Ma’am, ma’am, you are approved—”

Caller: “NO MORE LETTERS!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not sure you are hearing me. You will be getting a cheque in the mail soon.”

Caller: “NO LETTERS! YOU STOP!” *click*

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This Just Isn’t Field-Working Anymore

, , , | Working | September 11, 2017

(There’s been a few rounds of restructuring, and the boss is chatting with me to see how I’m adjusting.)

Me: “For the most part, it’s been okay. I’m just a little disappointed. With all my new office duties, I barely get to do any field work anymore.”

Boss: “What’s wrong with that?”

Me: “Well, I love doing field work. I specifically got into this business to do the field work.”

Boss: “Oh.”

Me: “Why? What’s wrong?”

Boss: “Well, I always assumed you hated doing field work. Every step of this restructuring, I’ve been trying to get you back in the office as much as possible.”

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Unfiltered Story #93776

, , | Unfiltered | September 11, 2017

(I take a call from a customer who is making a reservation.)

Me: “Alright, you’re all set. Now, did you want to take your confirmation number over the phone or do you want me to send you a confirmation email?”

Customer: “Send it by email please. The address is… wait, I’m going to give you my boyfriend’s email.” *to her boyfriend in the background* “Babe? What’s your email address?”

(He gives it to her and she relays it to me.)

Customer: “Wait, I’m pretty sure there’s a number ‘1’ before the @ sign.” *to her boyfriend* “Babe, isn’t there a ‘1’ before the @?”

Boyfriend: “Nope.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Boyfriend: “Yes, babe, I’m sure. It’s my address isn’t it?”

Customer: *to me* “I’m going to check just to be sure; men are usually wrong. I’m so sure there’s a ‘1’ before the @.”

Me: “Sure, no problem. Take your time.”

Boyfriend: “Babe! There’s no ‘1’ before the @. It’s just—” *gives address*

Customer: *to me* “Ignore him; I’m certain there’s a ‘1’ in there somewhere. Men are always wrong.”

Me: “Okay…”

Customer: “Oh! I found it! The address is [gives original address without a ‘1’ in it.] There, so there is no number ‘1’ in there. I knew it! I love being right!”

Me: “Okay… well your confirmation is being sent. Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Customer: “You too!” *to someone in the background as she’s hanging up* “I knew I was right, there was no number ‘1’—”

Whipped Cream And Pee Jars And Tag, Oh My!

, , , , , | Learning | September 10, 2017

(I am one of three RAs in a freshman dorm. I am talking to one of the SRAs (Senior RA) as my shift ends, when I see three freshman residents exiting the elevator, covered in whipped cream.)

SRA: “What happened, guys?”

Freshman #1: “I want to switch roommates!” *The other freshmen pipe up loudly that they, too, want to switch roommates.*

SRA: “Did your roommates do this to all of you? Did you do anything to them first?”

Freshman #2: “Well, we’ve been collecting bottles of our pee and placing it in their clothing, and under their bed sheets, but they started it first!”

(The SRA looks at me as this guy is talking, knowing there’s going to be a s***-ton of paperwork and meetings over this.)

Me: “Tag, you’re it!” *walks away*

(Don’t worry, I’m not a horrible RA. I came back with coffee for the SRA and we sorted this out together. I just wanted to see her reaction when she thought I left her.)

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Catching All The Classics

, , , , , | Hopeless | September 8, 2017

(A couple with a five- or six-year-old daughter is browsing in my bookstore. After checking out the children’s books for a bit, the girl comes up to my desk.)

Girl: “I like your music. It’s catchy.”

(This may have been the first time the Beethoven String Quartets were described as “catchy”, but you have great taste, little girl!)

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