(I am checking in with my union. After confirming my identity, the clerk tells me my membership has been temporarily frozen due to debt. Note that during the whole interaction her demeanor is serious and calm, no smirk or frown to show she thinks anything is weird.)

Clerk: “Uh-oh! You’re in arrears on your dues!”

Me: “Aw. How did that happen? I remember paying three months’ worth just a month ago.”

Clerk: “Ah, that explains why you have a credit of [$$] on your file. Would you like me to take what you owe out of the credit?”

Me: “Yes, please.”

(How can a single account have both too much and too little money on it at the same time?)

(I work for a bank’s call centre, and while it’s not what I primarily deal with, once in a while I handle mortgage problems. It is important to note that in Canada, if you have a mortgage you have to show proof of house insurance or else the bank will automatically add their insurance to your mortgage payment. Without house insurance, you could lose your mortgage with the bank. Their insurance is not cheap. It is also important to note that for privacy reasons, most insurance companies won’t send proof of insurance — which they usually send out yearly — directly to any mortgage holder. On this call, I am transferred an irate customer from a new hire who has no idea how to help him.)

Me: “Hello. Thank you for calling [Bank]; how may I assist you?”

Customer: “I just got a notification that you’re going to charge me for insurance. I already have insurance from [Outside Insurance Broker].”

Me: “All right, let me look into this for you. It seems like we need you to send in a new proof that your insurance is being continued on your house.”

Customer: “Why can’t you get it from my insurance broker? It’s a pain to have to send it in every year.”

Me: “Insurance companies won’t send proof of insurance directly to us without your permission, as they want to maintain your privacy. They should have sent the renewal to you so that you could forward it to us.”

Customer: “I don’t want to do this every year. I have insurance. Why can’t you ask them for the proof that my insurance has been renewed?”

Me: “I’m sorry if I didn’t explain this well. Even if we did ask your insurance company, they would not give us the information. I know that it is an extra step, but in order to not have to pay the bank’s insurance, you just have to send us the renewal information. Would you like me to provide you the information on where to send it?”

Customer: “No, I have it. I just don’t think I should have to send this. It should be up to you to get it. Having to do this every year is an inconvenience!”

Me: “It’s not us stopping us from getting the information. Have you tried asking your insurance company to provide us with the information directly?”

Customer: “I asked. They won’t do it.”

(I pause.)

Me: “So, you are aware that it is not us stopping the information from being sent directly to us?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “And you have the information on where to send the proof of insurance?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Sir, if you know that it is your insurance company who won’t send us the proof of insurance, and you have the information on how to get it to us, and you understand that all of this is completely out of our control, I have to ask: what were you hoping to accomplish with this call?”

Customer: “I shouldn’t have to send this in!”

I am Hispanic, and I’m doing tourism in southern Canada. My spoken English is far from perfect, but so far, native speakers have had no problem understanding me.

At one point, I go buy an ice cream… and the Asian lady behind the counter doesn’t know what I’m saying. After a few tries, I realize the problem: her English is lacking, too. She can’t decipher my accent and I can’t decipher hers. We just laugh and communicate with mimic and pointing for the rest of the transaction.

(We get people complaining all the time about the prices, which we have no control over. I am ringing an older couple through; they have a couple of items, including one of our more expensive combo ink packages. Their total comes to over $200. They are in the middle of paying when they ask this.)

Wife: “How much was the ink?”

Me: “$142.59.”

Wife: “That’s quite expensive.”

Me: *nodding* “Yeah, I know.”

Husband: “You should be embarrassed.”

Me: *surprised* “Excuse me?”

Husband: *repeats himself*

Me: “Unfortunately, we don’t set the prices.”

Husband: “You should be embarrassed for just having to tell us the price.”

(I didn’t know how to respond to that, so I just finished up the transaction. After they left I just kind of laughed with one of my coworkers about it. The only thing that’s embarrassing is that they couldn’t read the price tag on the shelf when they picked it up.)

(I work at a restaurant that caters to the vegetarian and vegan crowd. I answer the phone.)

Me: “Hello. This is [Restaurant]; how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. I was calling to make a reservation for a party of seven for next Saturday.”

Me: “Sure, shouldn’t be a problem. We have tables available for 5:00 or 8:00 pm that day; which would you prefer?”

Customer: “Eight will be fine, but I have a question. Does [Restaurant] serve any meat dishes?”

Me: “I’m afraid not, sir.”

Customer: “Are you serious? Not one thing? My daughter wants to eat there for her birthday; what am I supposed to do?”

Me: “Well, uh, I’m certain there’s something on our menu that you’d enjoy.”

Customer: “Probably not. So, how come you folks need to have your vegetarian dishes at regular restaurants, but you refuse to cater to us?”

Me: “Sorry, I couldn’t tell you. What we serve is the owner’s decision, not mine. So, did you want to cancel your reservation, then?”

Customer: “Nah, I’ll just eat before we go.”

Me: “…”