(Unfortunately, we’ve had a pool fouling and have to close down the kiddie pool. Luckily, we have another pool completely separate from the kiddie pool that will remain open. I am telling patrons that we have to close this pool, but they are welcome to go into the other pool after they shower. Most are already leaving due to the mess, except one father and his kids.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, but we’ve unfortunately had a fouling and need to close this pool.”

Father: “What?”

Me: “The other pool is open, so you can go there after you shower. We just need to close this one so we can clean it.”

Father: “You’re serious?”

(I can’t help but glance at the mess that’s in the pool, wondering if he seriously wants to keep swimming in it.)

Me: “Unfortunately, yes, it just happened, but you can still use our other pool after you shower.”

Father: “We only got here half an hour ago! I can’t believe you’re closing the pool on us!”

Me: “Oh, no, the whole pool isn’t shut down, just the kiddie pool. We’re still open and you can use the other pool while we clean this one.”

Father: “I paid to only use this pool. We only came for this pool, and after thirty minutes you’re kicking us out of it.”

(I quickly realize that he won’t be happy with whatever answer I give him, and my coworkers are waiting to scoop and put in chemicals. So, I give him another option.)

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, sir, but these events are unpredictable. I’m really sorry this happened, but if you don’t want to use the other pool, I’m sure the front desk will give you a refund. Or they could even give you some free passes.”

Father: “Really? Just like that?”

Me: “Uh-huh!”

Father: “So, will they get my ex-wife to give me more time with the kids?”

(I didn’t know what to say to this, but I didn’t have to say anything. The man stormed off, ordering his kids to follow and muttering about how we were closing the pool for no reason. I felt bad that the guy was having a bad day, but there was another pool they could have used and others did.)

My sibling is genderfluid — they alternate between identifying as male and female — and visits occasionally. This time, my son decided to ask me why his uncle/aunt changes gender every time we see them, so I tell him “they’re genderfluid.”

Later, when I looked at my grocery list before I went out, I saw that my son had added “gender fluid” to the list. Upon questioning why he wrote this down, I learned that he’d thought gender fluid was an actual liquid — like windshield fluid — and if you run out you get stuck as the opposite gender forever. He thought my sibling kept switching from male to female because theirs was running low, and wanted to help out.

Of course, I immediately explained what it really meant more thoroughly.

(I’m 17 and I have low-level tinnitus, and have used music the majority of my life to keep my mind off it, much like Miles in “Baby Driver.” The vast majority of people either know that I have my reason for always using earbuds, or they don’t mind and don’t ask. This happens when my regular history teacher is away and we have a substitute teacher who is in her mid-20s.)

Teacher: “[My Name] take your headphones out; it’s against school policy.”

Me: “I could, but I use them to offset my tinnitus.”

Teacher: “Take them out.”

Me: “I just explained why I ca—“

(She walks over to me and forcefully takes them from me, shattering my phone in the process.)

Teacher: “Come on. We’re going to the office.”

(I stand up, calmly picking up my phone and following her to the office. By the time we get there, I have a mild headache and am visibly uncomfortable. We walk into the office and the principal and receptionist’s eyes go wide.)

Receptionist: “[My Name], are you all right? [Teacher], what happened?”

Teacher: “This student refuses to take his headphones out.”

Principal: “Because he has tinnitus!”

Teacher: “Nonsense!” *to me, literally yelling in my ear* “You’re fine!”

(The sudden increase in noise makes me scream in pain and defensively swing at the teacher. When I realize what happened, I am standing over the teacher clutching my ear as she covers her nose, which is visibly broken.)

Teacher: “What the h***?!”

(The principal came over and returned my headphones, then proceeded to help the teacher up. My parents and police were called; my father arrived and absolutely lost it on the teacher. Afterward, assault charges were filed against the teacher, and I had to go to the hospital to get the ringing to subside.)

(At our pool, the only hot tubs are in the male and female change-rooms, while on the pool deck we have a kiddie pool and the main pool. The hot tubs in the change-rooms are hotter, and we will sometimes have parents want to bring their children in with them. We have no problem with this, as long as they are aware not to stay in too long, and as long as their children of the opposite gender are three and under. In all my years there, I have never had a problem with fathers bringing in daughters who are too old. I have had MULTIPLE problems with mothers bringing their sons into the female change room. I’m doing a change-room check in the female change-room when a mom walks in with her two sons. Both are clearly way too old to be in there; they are probably eight or ten. They make their way to the hot tub.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but they can’t be in there if they are over the age of three.”

(The mother turns around and looks at me, wide-eyed.)

Mom: “WHAT?!”

Me: “This is still a female change-room, so they can’t be in here if they are over three.”

Mom: “THIS IS RIDICULOUS! You expect me to leave my kids to get kidnapped while I use the hot tub? This is how they get kidnapped; that is a horrible rule!”

Me: “I don’t expect that at all, but we have the kiddie pool for you to use—“

Mom: “THAT IS NOT A HOT TUB!”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry but they can’t be in here.”

Mom: “What am I supposed to do, then?”

Me: “There is the kiddie pool, or you can return with someone to watch your kids while—“

Mom: “No, we’re not going anywhere. Boys, get comfy.”

(She then proceeded to go into the hot tub and glare at me. Eventually, security had to force them out.)

(My coworkers and I are cleaning up after finishing swimming lessons. Suddenly, one of my coworkers approaches me and asks me to check out some raised voices she heard in the hallway. I walk up and I do hear raised voices coming from two mothers. I approach one of the ladies who is yelling and, for the sake of this story, it’s important to note that she is white and the woman she is arguing with is of African descent.)

Me: “Hey, ladies, what seems to be—“

(Suddenly, out of nowhere, the white lady screeches and storms up to the other woman.)

Lady: “DON’T YOU EVER TALK LIKE THAT TO ME!”

(The two start arguing while I’m trying to calm them down. I quickly radio the site leader that night, who helps me separate them. While we are trying to talk to both of them, the one customer is fuming and won’t calm down.)

Lady: “That f****** b**** and her son are dead. Dead! Her [racial slur] son hit my little girl!”

(The son and daughter are no more than five years old.)

Team Leader: “Ma’am, that language is not allowed here.”

Lady: “KICK THEM THE F*** OUT!”

(Meanwhile, I’m talking to the other mom, who is calm but obviously shaken, and trying to console her son, who is crying. It turns out that as they were passing by each other in the narrow hallway, the little boy accidentally bumped into the little girl and apologized. That’s when the other lady lost it. As I’m writing down a report, the team leader comes to me, obviously having had enough of the other lady.)

Team Leader: “Since you were the first one here, I just want to clarify something: would you say that the lady I’m talking to is the one who instigated the fight?”

Me: “Well, they were both arguing when I arrived—“

Team Leader: “But if I were to say in the report that the other lady was the one who was the most uncooperative and most argumentative, would you back up this statement?”

Me: “Oh, yes. I would, 100%.”

Team Leader: “Thank you.”

(She then walks back over to the other lady, who is still swearing and cursing.)

Team Leader: “You will stop this at once and leave this building or I will call and have police escort you out. Furthermore, you are banned from using this facility ever again for uttering death threats and discriminatory remarks. If you try to come back, we have your information and the police will be called. Do you understand?”

Lady: *starts to cry and wail* “It’s because I’m white, isn’t it?”

(That was the first and only time in my lifetime — so far — that I’ve ever heard that remark. Also, no, lady, it’s because you’re crazy!)