An Aww-Inspiring Encounter

, , , , | Friendly | June 11, 2017

(I have come down with an extremely sore throat, to the extent that swallowing hurts so much it causes me to tear up. The only way I am able to fall asleep is to tilt my head down and constantly drool onto my pillow so that I will not be woken up by the pain of swallowing my spit. The only thing that makes the pain tolerable is to constantly suck on lozenges. After a couple days I run out, and go to the store for more. I head to the display they were at before, and see that the sale is no longer on.)

Me: “Awwww…”

(I start to reach for the shelf that held my favourite flavour, only to realize it was sold out.)

Me: “Awwww…”

(I start to reach for my next-favourite flavour, but find that shelf is also empty.)

Me: “Awwww…”

(The customer beside me couldn’t help herself and cracked up. I explained my thought process in my very raspy voice, and I shared a painful laugh with her, which was a high point of the whole experience. Especially considering that, after days of sucking on what is essentially a medicated candy pretty much every waking moment, completely ignoring the recommended daily limit, I ended up developing sores in my mouth in addition to the nasty throat. And now I know why there is a recommended daily limit.)

Not Their ‘Area’ Of Expertise

, , , | Right | June 8, 2017

(Our province has two area codes which divide the province into zones. A third area code is added to one of the zones which means that people in that zone can no longer use seven-digit local dialing, and have to use the area code for ten-digit local dialing instead. There has been a fair amount of advertising of this new protocol. I am working as a telephone operator.)

Caller: “I’m trying to make a call and it won’t go through.”

Me: “Ah, yes. What is happening is that a new area code has been added and now you have to dial all 10-digits of the telephone number including the area code for local calling.”

Caller: *angrily* “NO, I don’t have to dial the area code!”

Me: “…”

(I think for a moment.)

Me: “Well, ultimately you ARE right. You don’t have to dial the area code. Unless of course you want your calls to go through.”

Caller: “F*** you, a**-hole!” *click*

Not The Photo-Perfect Day You Were Expecting

, , , , | Working | June 8, 2017

(This happened to my dad a long time ago. He and Mum had recently emigrated from Britain and didn’t know very many people in their new Canadian city, so when his boss invites him and Mum to Boss’s daughter’s wedding, it is a very nice surprise. Mum is thrilled by the invitation, and she pinches pennies so that she and Dad can afford decent clothes for the event as well as a babysitter for me.)

Boss: “Ah, [Dad], there you are! Here, you’ll need this.” *hands Dad a camera*

Dad: “What’s this for?”

Boss: “To take photos of the wedding and reception, of course.”

Dad: “But… I’m not a photographer. Didn’t you hire one?”

Boss: “Why pay some photographer good money when all you need is a camera and someone to use it?”

Dad: “But that means I’ll be leaving my wife alone for a large part of the day, and she doesn’t know anyone.”

Boss: “Oh, she’ll be fine.”

(Dad gave up at that point. Poor Mum had a miserable lonely day, since she was quite shy and no-one bothered to try to include her in their conversations. Dad did his best to take some nice photographs, but unbeknownst to him, the camera had jammed after the first couple of pictures. He didn’t realize this, because the camera wasn’t one with which he was familiar. So, because Boss was too cheap to pay a professional photographer, his daughter didn’t get any photos of her big day. I always wonder what she had to say to her father about that.)

Going To Give You A Mall-ing

, , , | Right | June 8, 2017

(I work in a clothing store in a large mall. My store specializes in women’s work clothes. We only have a small section of casual clothing, like jeans. We often get asked by customers where other shops in the mall are. A lady just finished trying on some clothes in our fitting room.)

Customer: “Do you have any lucky belts?”

Me: “Excuse me?” *puzzled by what she meant by lucky belts*

Customer: “Do you sell lucky belts. You know, Lucky Brand Belts?”

Me: “Oh, no, sorry. We only sell our own brand here. Sorry.”

Customer: “Do you know where I could find them? I live out of town and don’t know the mall.”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t know. Probably a store that specializes in jeans or belts, or a store that carries that brand.”

Customer: “So what store?”

Me: “I don’t know.”

Customer: “WHAT? You don’t know? Why not? I don’t live here. Where can I find Lucky belts?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know. I don’t shop for that brand myself, and have no idea where you would find a specific brand like that aside from the jean stores [Store #1] and [Store #2] upstairs. But I don’t know if they would have it.”

Customer: “Why is it so hard for you to tell me where to find them? You’re useless!”

Me: “Well, we don’t carry them. My job is to know what is sold in this store, not the entire mall.”

(She went and asked another associate who gave her a similar answer before she got frustrated at our staff not knowing where another company sold their items.)

Should Have Got A Coke Zero

, , , , | Right | June 8, 2017

(A guy in his early twenties comes to our smoothie shop which is located in a busy mall.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: *looking around suspiciously and sniffing* “Yeah, just get me one of those strawberry drinks. Large.”

(We have several strawberry drinks, but I see that he’s looking at a picture of one of our most popular drinks.)

Me: “Is that the [Strawberry Drink] you’re looking for?”

Customer: *pulling up his hood and rocking back and forth* “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

Me: “Sure thing. Did you want any boosters with that?” *our boosters are a blend of vitamins in powder form that we add to our drinks*

Customer: “No.”

(I make his drink and hand it to him.)

Me: “That will be $5.75, please.”

(The customer then takes out a small baggy with white powder in it, keeping it close to his body. He lowers his voice.)

Customer: “Oh, yeah… put this in it.”

(The customer is now looking around shifting his gaze.)

Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t add anything that does not belong to our company.”

(The customer becomes agitated.)

Customer: “WHY NOT?!”

Me: “Well, for instance, what if that is cocaine?”

(The customer BOLTS down the mall, bumping into two older ladies who are shopping.)

Next Customer: “Wow, that wasn’t suspicious at all…”

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