Unfiltered Story #95694

, , | Unfiltered | September 25, 2017

At work one day, someone calls the store. I pick up.

Me: [Dollar Store], how can I help you?

Customer (on the phone): Hi there, I was here yesterday, and I bought a bag of that premade popcorn. Just after I opened it and ate a few pieces, I looked at the expiration date and it expired two days ago!

(People from the popcorn company just stocked and rotated all their products the previous morning, so there was no way there were any expired products on the shelves, but I decided to humor her.)

Me: Oh, I’m sorry about that, ma’am. If you bring in the rest of the popcorn in the bag and your receipt, we may be able to exchange it for you.

Customer: Oh, that won’t be necessary. I’m leaving tonight. But I don’t want to get sick while I’m gone! If food poisoning from this expired popcorn ruins my vacation, I’m going to be very upset! You all really need to pay attention to your stock! [click]

I wonder if she knows that you can’t get food poisoning from processed popcorn?

Take The Advice Of The Hire Power

, , , , | Right | September 24, 2017

(I am working at a coffee shop, and this is my first time using the cash register. I am pretty fast for someone who is new, but still slow overall. Thankfully, there are only three people in line at most, so there is never a wait longer than three minutes.)

Me: “Hello! How may I help you?”

Customer: “Finally! This took forever.”

Me: “I’m sorry for the delay; I’m new here, and this is my first day on cash register.”

Customer: “There are always new people here. They need to stop hiring so many new people.”

Me: “We have had a lot of people leave recently.”

Customer: “It doesn’t matter!”

Me: “So… they shouldn’t hire employees?”

Customer: “…”

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(Thermo)Dynamically Reacting To A Crazy Request

, , | Right | September 23, 2017

(I’ve worked at many different pools, but the number one complaint I get, no matter what pool I’m at, is that “the pool is too cold.” Some people don’t understand that a pool is not a bathtub, and we can’t turn up the heat on demand. Since the pool is so big, and filters gallons of water in and out, it literally takes days to cool down or heat up the pool. Furthermore, health and safety policies dictate that we have to keep the pool within a certain temperature range. My response to this complaint for years has been to explain these facts, and tell them what the temperature reading was at the last pool test. One day, at one of the biggest pools I’ve worked at, an elderly woman enters the pool and makes a big show of acting like she has just stepped into ice water.)

Patron: “The water is so cold today.”

Me: “The last temperature reading said 85 degrees.”

Patron: *confused* “What does that mean?”

Me: “Our policy aims to have our pool between 83 and 87 degrees in order to operate. We’re actually above the minimum level.”

Patron: “So, you have two more degrees to go.”

Me: “Uh, yes. Two more degrees until the maximum.”

Patron: “So, turn it up.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Patron: “It’s far too cold to be comfortable. Get someone to turn up the heat.”

Me: “Ma’am, if we turn it up too much, then the competitive swimmers could overheat.”

Patron: “You just said that you could go two degrees higher, so just go to the back and turn up the switch.”

Me: “Uh, I’m actually not trained to—”

Patron: “And hurry up; I’m only here for half an hour today.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but there is no way the heat will increase that much in so little time.”

(I’m about to explain to her why this is, when she sees a maintenance worker come onto the pool deck.)

Patron: “Oh, you’re useless. I’ll just ask [Worker]; he knows what to do.”

(She gets his attention and asks him what she asked me. I continue to guard, but I listen in, expecting him to say the same thing I did. To my surprise, I hear him say, “No problem,” and he walks away. The patron smiles smugly at me and begins her walking workout, while I stand there confused. Ten minutes later, he comes back, and I approach him before the lady sees him.)

Me: “Did you really turn up the heat for the pool?”

Worker: *smirks* “Oh, no, that’s just a line I shoot them so they’ll get off my back.”

(He then walks over to the lady.)

Worker: “How’s that?”

Patron: “Much better; thank you.”

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Entitlement Comes Before The Custom

, , , , | Friendly | September 22, 2017

(I put a sign in my building saying I’m renting my parking spot monthly for the winter. A few days later, another tenant calls me.)

Tenant: “I saw your sign, and I’m wondering if I could pay every week instead of every month?”

Me: “I’d really prefer monthly checks to make it easier for everyone.”

Tenant: “I don’t know how checks work. Can’t I just meet you every week to give you money? See, it’s quite expensive, and I can’t afford it one month at a time, so I need to pay you every week. Also, could you lower the price because I’m on a low income?”

Me: “Sorry. As I said, I’d like the full amount to be paid monthly by check; it’s much more simple for me.”

Tenant: *getting flustered* “But I can’t use checks, and it’s too expensive, and I can only pay one week at a time. You’re not at all accommodating to your customers!”

Me: “Lady, I’m not a business; I’m just renting my parking spot. I don’t owe you anything. I hope you find another place to park. Goodbye.”

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Some People Just Play House

, , , , , | Working | September 22, 2017

(My husband and I have bought a house. It is a show-home, and because of this, the builder has to keep it “on display” for six weeks after we close the deal. This happens on the day that we finally move in. We’ve been unpacking all day, and have decided to take a lunch break in the driveway. A car pulls up outside, a lady gets out, and she walks briskly past us up to the front door.)

Me: “Hello! Can we help you?”

Realtor: *stopping dead and staring at us* “What are you doing here?”

Me: “Having lunch.”

Realtor: “You can’t be here! Please leave.”

Husband: “Why would we do that?”

Realtor: “Well, for one thing, you’re trespassing. For another, I’m about to show this house to a client.”

Me: “I don’t think so.”

Realtor: “What do you mean?”

Me: “This is our house.”

Realtor: “EXCUSE me?”

Me: “This is OUR house. As in, we bought it, and we’re moving in today.”

Realtor: “WHAT? Nobody told me! I made arrangements several days ago for today’s showing!”

Husband: “Well, we signed the paperwork six weeks ago, so…”

Realtor: “This can’t be right. Are you sure you’re at the right place?”

Me: “Um, yes.”

Realtor: “…can I still show the house to my client?”

Husband: “What? Of course not!”

Realtor: “FINE!”

(She drove off in a very bad mood.)

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