Not The Right Climate To Face Facts

, , , , , | Working | May 29, 2018

(There is still a ton of snow on the ground and cold temperatures, despite it being mid-March. My coworker and I are leaving our office for the day and she says, in all seriousness:)

Coworker: “So much for global warming.”

Me: “Well…” *looks around* “This is for sure global warming.”

Coworker: “But there’s still all this snow! And it’s so cold.”

Me: “…”

(I really didn’t feel like going through what global warming is with her… a 30-something mother of two.)

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Getting Farther And Father From Their Plan

, , , , , , , | Related | May 28, 2018

(Father’s Day is approaching.)

Husband’s Sister: “Okay, this is what I’ve planned for Dad for Father’s Day. I need you to get to my house early so that we can set stuff up for the barbeque that we’ll have later in the day.”

Husband: “Um, wait a sec. I’m glad to help set stuff up, but I can’t be there until after 1:00 or so.”

Sister: “Why not?”

Husband: “I have plans.”

Sister: “What? What plans? What plans could you possibly have on Father’s Day?”

Husband: “[Wife] and [Daughters] are taking me out for brunch.”

Sister: “Oh. I guess you’re a father, too, huh?”

Husband: “Yup. Have been for the last several years, actually.”

(The kicker is that she’s married with kids – and yet, she seemed to have completely forgotten about doing anything for her husband that day, too.)

This story is part of our Father’s Day roundup.

Click here to read the first story!

Click here to go to the Father’s Day roundup!

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Do What I Want Or I’ll Hate You So There

, , , , , | Right | May 28, 2018

(I work for a cell phone company. All day I chat to customers about hardware upgrades, issues with their accounts, etc. Most of the time I can’t fix their problems because of conversations like this one.)

Customer: “Hi, can you upgrade my phone, please?”

Me: “Hey, my name is [My Name]. May I have your full name and number or account number?”

Customer: “Okay, my name is [Customer] and my number is [number].”

Me: “Thank you. Just one moment while I open your account.”

(I look at his account to see what I can offer, and what I can’t. He just upgraded his phone to the new iPhone 6 Plus and owes the company $2,000; that needs to be paid before another upgrade.)

Me: “It looks like I am unable to complete your request at this time. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”


Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it looks that you have just done an upgrade and still owe on that.”

Customer: “SO? GIVE ME A NEW ONE!”

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but I am unable as the system will not let me unless the balance is paid off in full.”

Customer: “How much do I owe?”

Me: “$2,000; that’s for the phone, the overdue bills, and device protection.”

Customer: “Can’t you just waive that if I stay with you?”

Me: “Um, no?!”


Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Customer: “Will you waive that fee now?”

Me: “No, I still can’t.”

(The customer disconnected from chat. That had to have been the stupidest chat ever.)

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Unfiltered Story #113071

, , | Unfiltered | May 28, 2018

(I work in the meat department of my local grocery store that has been in the area for over 60 years. It was originally owned by a local man who then sold it to his two children. One of the siblings decided to retire and the other sibling decided to sell out to a chain grocery store. We had an immediate transition into said chain overnight and two weeks later a lady comes in with some questions)

Lady: So what’s the deal with the meat now?

Me: You’ll have to be a little more specific ma’am.

Lady: Well, where does it come from?

Me: Well it’s still all Canadian meat and from the same suppliers as [Previous Store].

Lady: Where does the beef come from?

Me: Our beef comes from Alberta.

Lady: You just told me that your meat was all Canadian and now you say your beef is from Alberta. If you’re gonna lie to me, I’m not shopping here!

Me: Uhhhh….

(Lady storms off, I turn around and talk to my coworker who overheard)

Me: Last time I checked, Alberta was in Canada eh?

Unfiltered Story #113066

, , | Unfiltered | May 27, 2018

I work in a small knife store in a mall, there are usually two of us in at a time so we don’t have to close the store for half an hour, my coworker was sitting in the back room eating her lunch which means that I was out on the floor by myself, a customer comes in

Customer: *points to a $130 knife* I would like to purchase this knife

(I grab the customers knife box it up and proceed to scan it through the total brings the knife to around $140 with gst)

Customer: *in a condescending tone* $140 that’s too expensive, I would like a discount

Me: I’m sorry Ma’am I cant offer a discount on this product

Customer: Why the f**k not?

Me: Because it isn’t on sale, if you work in the culinary industry you can get 20% off of a kitchen knife, but I can’t offer discounts to people because I’m not a manager, if we offer discounts to people on sporting knives we can get written up and possibly fired.

Customer: well I work in the cullinary industry, where is my 20% ?

Me: Again, it doesnt include sporting knives, and I would need to see a student I.D. Card, a paystub, or anything else that proves you are either a cullinary student, or work in a kitchen.

(after going back and forth with this customer for about 10 minutes my coworker comes out to grab her bottle of water and goes back in to the back room to finish her lunch)

Customer: If I knew your coworker was here I would have got her to help me, she always offers me a discount whenever I come in, I’m positive that if she gives me the employee discount you can too.

(At this point I know she is lying because 1) we can not offer employee discounts, HR keeps track and we can be fired for giving a customer a discount without a reason, and 2) the managers are the only ones who can give employee discounts, a code is generated for them every day to enter into the system for a discount, so there is no way that an employee would be able to do an employee discount for a customer and 3) the only discount the associates can offer is 20% off and that’s for people who work in the culinary industry and are buying kitchen knives)

Me: (playing along with her lie) Oh, why didn’t you say so? I’ll go grab my coworker right now, since she helps you all the time I’m sure she will be more than happy to help you out again.

Customer: oh no, that’s okay I don’t want to disturb her, if she’s on her lunch

Me: It wont be a problem at all, just give me one moment.

(I put the knife behind the counter so she couldn’t steal it, as I grabbed my coworker, we walked out of the back room to see she was gone, I got a 4 day work weekend, which was disrupted by a call from my boss, the lady came in again while I was off, and she told my manager that any time she was in I gave her employee discounts, we got the lady up on the security camera and she isn’t allowed in the store any more)