天線寶寶 Say Uh-Oh!

, , | Learning | October 11, 2017

(I work at a school that teaches international students from all over. They all come with different English speaking levels, and I’m teaching a class that is on the lower end. They start to become friends with one another, and I notice they’re singing a song together in Mandarin that ends with them laughing. The melody sounds familiar, but I don’t understand the lyrics. I keep on hearing them singing it during any off time until it finally hits me.)

Me: “Wait, are you guys singing the Teletubbies theme song?”

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They’ll Be Back(pack)

, , , , | Working | October 10, 2017

(I’m looking for a new backpack. Because I tend to carry a lot of things with me, and my back’s been giving me problems, I’m specifically looking for a backpack with a waist or chest strap. I go to the store and pick up a backpack with a waist strap and check it out.)

Employee: *approaches me* “Are you looking for anything in particular?”

Me: “Oh, yeah. I’m looking for backpacks with waist straps like this one.” *shows her the backpack*

Employee: “Sorry, we don’t carry any like that.”

Me: *long pause* “So, you don’t carry any backpacks with waist straps like this?” *picks up the waist strap to show her better*

Employee: “That’s right.”

Me: *another long pause* “All righty, then.”

(I put the backpack back and left.)

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Things Are Lining Up Nicely

, , , | Learning | October 10, 2017

(The middle school where I teach likes to ease into things at the beginning of the year, so we don’t get our class lists until the Friday of the first week of school. The days leading up to that day are full of fun activities for students. Usually that means they are quite crazy and chatty, which I fully expect for the first few days, especially since my grade seven class last year was super chatty and had trouble with lining up in the hall. I get my group and we have an activity in the art room first thing.)

Me: “I need a volunteer.”

(A student volunteers.)

Me: “Okay, [Student] is our line leader. He’s going to stand outside, everyone is going to line up single-file behind him, and we’re going to go to art.”

(As my students leave, I grab my supplies and get out there as quickly as I can to meet the students. I’m expecting some chaos, but I emerge outside to all my students lined up perfectly and silently, waiting for me.)

Me: “…”

Students: *waiting patiently*

Me: “What the… all right.”

(They continue this kind of behaviour all day, which is amazing, but throws me off a bit. Later on, one of my older students, who is at the high school, comes to visit and I relay that story to them.)

High-School Student: “The grade tens don’t even do that!”

(So, great job, students I had that day. Sorry if I appeared confused; your awesomeness astounded me!)

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About To Start A Storm In A Teacup

, , , , | Related | October 10, 2017

When I was around seven, my mom brought me to a music festival. While we were walking into the building, my mom pointed at some mint in their garden, and told me you can make tea out of it.

A couple hours later, I wanted something to drink, and tried to get a tea from the concessions stand. They didn’t have any. So, I returned outside, and got an idea. In short order, I and several other unsupervised children began pulling up as many mint plants as we could. When we’d gathered a sizable amount, I brought my bounty inside and dropped it on the concession counter. By chance, my mom was right there when I did so, and scolded me. I turned to her, confused, and declared, “But now they can make tea!

For some reason, she was less than pleased by my ingenuity, and immediately bundled me into the car. The next year, the concession stand offered tea.

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Unfiltered Story #97360

, , | Unfiltered | October 10, 2017

I work at the Disney store, and I’m walking around the store helping customers. I see this one dude standing in the middle of of a row of shelves. I go up to home and say “How’s your treasure hunt going?” (Standard lingo). He says “ok” and keeps typing. I ask him if he needs any help, and he says “Yes actually. How do you spell amputate?”. Me: “Umm… A-M-P-U-T-A-T-E”. Him: ” Thanks!” Then he walks off