They’re Not On The Same Page

, , , | Right | May 14, 2018

(We’re a toy store with a sizable book section. A customer comes in with one of our bags and a book to return with her receipt. I take the receipt and the book and start doing her return when she picks up another bag from a competing book store.)

Customer: “So, I bought this from [Competing Book Store] and I don’t have a receipt, but it’s so far away… Can I return this here?”

Me: “Um… No, ma’am, I’m sorry. We don’t even sell this book.”

Customer: “Oh, well. Worth a try!”

(I finished her return and she went off with her things. I’m baffled she actually thought it would work.)

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Their Brain Has Melted

, , , , | Right | May 14, 2018

(I work at a farmers market, where I sell popsicles. It’s mid-July and about 30 degrees Celsius [86 Fahrenheit] outside. An elderly woman buys a lemonade popsicle.)

Customer: “So, will this melt quickly in the sun?”

Me: “Yes, yes it will.”

Customer: “Well then, how am I supposed to eat it before it melts?”

Me: “Very quickly, ma’am.”

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When Trying To Be Helpful Isn’t Helping

, , , | Working | May 14, 2018

(I am a US citizen on a long-term assignment in Canada. After three years, we need a new car. We have a US-based credit card, which gives us significant credit towards the purchase of a particular manufacturer’s vehicles, so we decide to see if we can get the credit transferred from the States. I call the Canadian bank and get a very helpful woman. We start the process and reach a point where I have to get more information for her. We disconnect, and I get the info from the US and call her back. Since she has a fairly unique name, I’m transferred through promptly, and we continue. We reach a last impasse, and I need to call the US again. This time, when I call the Canadian bank back, it does not go as smoothly.)

New Guy: “Hello, my name is [New Guy]. How can I help you?”

Me: “Yes, please connect me with [First Person].”

New Guy: “I can help you. What do you need?”

Me: “I need to be connected to [First Person]. Please put me through.”

New Guy: “I can help you. What do you need?”

(This continues for a few more cycles until I’m ready to tear my hair out. I decide to go ahead.)

Me: “Okay, here’s the information you need to issue my credit card with the purchase credits on it.”

New Guy: *nonplussed* “Wait. What?”

Me: “Sure, it’s in the records. I needed to get [Bank] the following information to get my card issued. This is my third call, and it’s all you need.”

New Guy: “Wait, I have to look at that. Hold on…”

Me: “I’ve already spent the better part of an hour setting this up, and I don’t want to go through it all again. Why didn’t you connect me when I asked you first?”

New Guy: “Because I could help you.”

Me: “Here’s a tip. If a customer asks for a specific person, they almost certainly have a good reason. Put me through now.”

(A couple of clicks later, I was talking to [First Person], and the card was on its way within minutes.)

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I Just Don’t Have The Energy To Point Out The Irony

, , , | Friendly | May 13, 2018

(Overheard at a store:)

Woman #1: “Oh, you want to avoid those energy drinks; they’ll kill you.”

Woman #2: “Yeah, all that caffeine.”

Woman #1: “And all that sugar.”

([Woman #2] then sipped from her double-double — a coffee with extra sugar — while [Woman #1] talked about how she was off to get a slushie.)

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That’s Not How Price Match Works

, , , | Right | May 12, 2018

(It is mid-December. I work at a big box store in the photo department, located right next to the electronics department. First thing when the store opens this morning, a woman comes up to me and asks for help with the tablets, so I page the guy in electronics to the display case. He later tells me that their interaction went like this:)

Woman: *holding receipt* “I bought this tablet here a few weeks ago, and I want to buy another one for this price.”

Coworker: “That was part of our Black Friday sale, so it’s back to regular price now.”

Woman: “Well, isn’t there anything you can do for me? Don’t you price-match?”

Coworker: “We don’t price-match our own prices from an outdated sale.”

Woman: “Can I speak to your manager?”

(We spent the rest of the day laughing at how ridiculous it was.)

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