I’ll Have A “Take Your Sweet” Thyme And A Glacial Melt

, , , , | Working | April 22, 2018

(I’m waiting in line at a fast food drive-thru. It’s moving very slowly, and I’m the second-closest to the drive-thru speaker. I can hear everything that’s going on with the car in front of me.)

Employee: “Hello! Welcome to [Restaurant]. May I take your order?”

Customer: *places order*

Employee: “Okay, your total is [amount]. Please pull up to the next window.”

(The line hasn’t moved an inch since this customer placed his order.)

Employee: “Hello! Welcome to [Restaurant]. May I take your order?”

Customer: “It’s still me.”

Employee: “Okay, sir, please pull up to the window when you’re ready.”

(Beat.)

Employee: “Hello! Welcome to [Restaurant]. May I take your order?”

Customer: “Hello! It’s me again! I’ll be there as soon as possible.”

Employee: “Okay, thank you.”

(The line finally moves. We only manage to make it up half a car-length.)

Employee: “Hello! Welcome to [Restaurant]. May I take your order?”

(There is this awkward pause, as the car in front of me is no longer next to the speaker, and I’m only halfway there, so I can’t see the entire menu.)

Employee: “This is the same person, isn’t it?”

(The line suddenly starts moving again, so I manage to pull up right next to the speaker.)

Me: “Nope, you finally got a different customer, now! Thanks for waiting. Are you ready to take my order?”

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Unfiltered Story #109187

, | Unfiltered | April 22, 2018

(I’m working the closing shift at a frozen yogurt shop. At around 7 pm, the phone rings, and I answer with my usual greeting.)

Me: “Good evening, [Shop Name] [Location], this is [My Name] speaking, how can I help you?”

(The caller sounds like an adolescent or young adult woman.)

Woman: *loudly* “Is this [Shop Name]?”

Me: “Yes, this is [Shop Name] [Location].”

Woman: “Is it healthy there?”

(While people like to consider frozen yogurt and sorbet a healthiER alternative to ice cream, I would hesitate to call our products “healthy”.)

Me: “…Healthy in what regard?”

Woman: “Like, healthier than CC Swirls?”

(CC Swirls is another Canadian frozen yogurt shop, but up to that point I’d never heard of it.)

Me: “Than…what, sorry?”

Woman: “CC Swirls.”

Me: “I’m afraid I don’t know what that is, so I can’t offer a comparison.”

Woman: “How dare you.”

(I assume she’s joking, and laugh. I’m starting to suspect this is a prank call, but since she isn’t doing any harm and I have nothing better to do, I stay on the line.)

Woman: “I guess it’s probably a bit better.”

Me: “Well, you’re always welcome to come in and check everything out, if you’d like.”

Woman: “Is this Oakville?”

Me: “Yes, we are located in Oakville, at the intersection of [Street Name] and [Street Name].”

Woman: “Good for you.”

Me: “…Thanks?”

Woman: “So are you hiring?”

(We have literally just hired a new employee, and are probably not looking to hire more just yet.)

Me: “I think we may have just hired someone, but we are always happy to take resumes.”

Woman: “Okay. How old do you have to be to work there?”

Me: “I’m not sure how old you have to be to actually work here, but to be given a key for opening or closing you have to be 16 years old.”

Woman: “Okay. I’m 21 –”

(I wonder to myself if she honestly thinks there’s any normal job, let alone a job selling frozen yogurt, whose minimum age requirement is that high.)

Woman: “– and I used to work at –”

(The call suddenly cuts out. Since I’ve known this phone to give us trouble, I don’t know if it was a problem on either of our ends, or if she hung up.)

Me: “Hello? Are you there? …I’m sorry; if you’re there, I’m afraid I can’t hear you, and you’ll have to call back.”

(There is the sound of the call being dropped, and then a dial tone. There were no more calls the rest of the night. I don’t know if it was a prank call or if that woman was just very strange, but it was certainly amusing!)

The Couponator 5: Online Decline

, , , , | Right | April 21, 2018

(A woman comes up to my register to pay for her items.)

Me: “Hi, is that all for you today?”

Customer: “Yes. I have a $5 coupon on my phone; I just need to pull it up.”

Me: “Okay, great, no problem.”

(I see her struggle to load the page; after a few moments she shows me a blank screen.)

Customer: “It’s not loading, but it’s right here.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Since that’s just a blank page and there’s no barcode or sku number, there’s no way I can actually put the coupon into the system.”

Customer: “There has to be a way you can honour it! Can I speak to a manager?”

Me: “She’s not in right now; it’s just me. But even if she was, there’s no way our system will let us use the coupon since we can’t actually see it.”

(I spend a few more minutes trying to help her get the page to load. After a moment, I realize she’s connected to a Wi-Fi hotspot several blocks away.)

Me: “Do you have LTE?”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “Do you have mobile Internet on your smartphone? If you do, you’ll be able to connect to the Internet, as we don’t have Wi-Fi here.”

Customer: “I don’t have that.”

Me: “Okay, then, I’m sorry. It’s not possible for me to take your coupon today.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! What good is a coupon if I can’t even use it?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Next time be sure to print the coupon, or take a screenshot next time you are connected to the Internet.”

Customer: “This isn’t fair! You should be able to honour it!”

Me: “It’s not our fault that you don’t have Internet, ma’am. I’m sorry that you feel inconvenienced.”

(I ring up her purchase.)

Me: “Thank you. Have a nice day.”

Customer: *mumbles incoherently, snatches her bag, and storms off*

Related:
The Couponator 4: Deadly Discounts
The Couponator 3: Rise Of The Coupons

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Has ID, Still No Idea

, , , , , | Working | April 20, 2018

A few years ago, I had my name legally changed, only keeping my last name. Shortly after, I went to the liquor store. Since I’d only become legal the year before, the cashier did their duty and carded me. I presented my two pieces of ID, bought my beer, and went home.

Later, I was going through my wallet and realized I had accidentally put in my old medical card instead of my new one. So, I had presented two pieces of ID with two completely different names, and the cashier hadn’t batted an eye.

Related:
Has ID, Has An Idea

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Membership Is Totes Pricey

, , , | Right | April 19, 2018

(Some cities in one Canadian province charge $5 for library memberships. My city, in a different province, does not charge. Nonetheless, we get a written complaint:)

Complaint: “In [City], where I used to live, they give you a free tote bag when you join the library. I was disappointed not to get a free bag with my purchase of a library membership.”

(That tote bag is worth $1, so they just complained about saving $4.)

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