They Can Help With Harassment Insurance

, , , , , , | Working | August 10, 2017

(I’ve been getting calls almost daily from an insurance company — although I am sceptical that it is one — and I’ve politely turned them down every time. This has been going on for about two weeks, with phone calls and flyers, and I finally have enough over the last two days.)

Day #1:

Rep #1: *goes into sales pitch*

Me: “Hold on a moment, I can’t hear you over my TV.”

Rep #1: “Oh, what are you watching, darling, The Kardaaaashians?”

Me: “Why, no, a History of Cannibalism– Hey, he hung up!”

Day #2:

(I call their listed number after getting three calls in 15 minutes, and the rep starts into the sales pitch.)

Me: “Hold it! I want to speak to a supervisor.”

Rep #2: “Ma’am, I can help you with all your insurance needs.”

Me: “Oh, not with this one. Supervisor, now.”

Supervisor: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Me: “Is your company aware what ‘harassment’ is?”

Supervisor: “Ma’am?”

Me: “I have been getting calls daily for two weeks from you guys, sometimes up to three times a day. When I don’t answer at work, I get called five minutes apart! I was insulted by your rep yesterday, and one called me ‘Mrs’, when my information clearly says ‘Miss.’ Minor, but to me that says you do not have proper authorization to my information, and are a scam. So, are these phone calls and flyers stopping, or do I need to go to the police for harassment?”

Supervisor: “Ma’am, we just want you to have the proper insurance in the case of an accident!”

Me: “Great, but I am rather old fashioned and do not conduct such business over the telephone with a cold caller! I have turned down every single call, I have not returned one flyer, and I do not like getting three calls in 15 minutes while I am at work! So, will the calls and flyers stop, or do I need to go to the police?”

Supervisor: “We’ll remove you from our list, ma’am. Have a nice day!”

(Rude of me, maybe. I get that they’re just doing a job. But enough was enough!)

Completely Blowing Up

, , , , | Right | August 8, 2017

(A customer is talking about something that she wants me to blow up to poster size, and telling me that it’s from a certain magazine, and as she’s talking I’m just thinking ‘oh man, I don’t even know if I can copy this’ … So when she’s done talking about it, I start to tell her it might be copyrighted.)

Me: “So, since this is from a magazine, and the page has been cut out, I don’t know what their copyright says. Maybe I can Google the magazine and see if it says anything on their website or something.”

Customer: “I’m not selling it or anything, so it’s fine.”

Me: “Depends on the copyright. Some copyrights specify more than others, and since we don’t have the whole magazine here, I can’t see what it says. Some copyrights are quite strict.”

Customer: “But it’s just for a present. I want a poster of it.”

Me: “Yeah, I know, but for example, if someone wanted a poster of a celebrity, they are supposed to find a poster from a company that is licenced to sell a poster of that celebrity. People aren’t supposed to get a picture off the Internet and blow that up to poster size.”

Customer: “People do that all the time.”

Me: “I’m sure they do, but they’re not allowed. Let me just Google the magazine, in case their copyright information is listed. What was the name of the magazine again?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Um, but you just told me the name of it a few minutes ago.”

Customer: “NO, I DIDN’T! YOU WEREN’T LISTENING TO ME!”

Me: *confused at this strange turn* “Um… okay… maybe I can still find it.”

(I begin Googling names I thought I remembered her saying, to see if something comes up.)

Customer: “I don’t understand why can’t you just blow this up!”

Me: “Because I’m not sure what the copyright on it says. It’s just our company copyright policy. It’s protecting the magazine company, just like any other people who have copyrights.”

Customer: “Can I talk to you manager!? Anyone else! I need to talk to your manager!”

Me: “Sure.” *I sigh when I say sure*

Customer: “Well, aren’t you sassy!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say it like that.”

Customer: “You just have horrible customer service, you know that?! I can’t believe you!”

(After my manager comes out, and tries to explain our policy to her, and how I’m correct, she interrupts him to say that I have horrible customer service and that I was “flippant” with her.)

Me: “I apologize. What did I say that upset you? I didn’t mean to be rude and I don’t want to continue to do that, so if you tell me what I did, maybe I can correct it for the future.”

(I’m trying not to cry at this point, and I’m sure you can hear that through my voice.)

Customer: “You were FLIPPANT!”

Me: “How?”

Customer: “Because you have HORRIBLE CUSTOMER SERVICE! YOU WERE FLIPPANT!”

Me: “Okay, again, I apologize, but I didn’t mean to be. I know when I said ‘sure,’ it came out a little rude, but what else did I do?”

Customer: “I SAID YOU WERE FLIPPANT! What you should have done, is tell me ‘I’m sorry this isn’t something we can normally do, but let me get my manager so we can work something out’.”

Me: “Yes, but you see, when it comes to copyright, there is no ‘working out’ that we can do. It’s a serious offence, and we can’t just bend the rules for it.”

Customer: “You should just let the customer be right!”

(My manager stepped in to explain how we couldn’t do that, and how I could be fined personally, so it was a chance we can’t take. I ended up booking in an order of plaque mounting for her photo, instead of blowing it up to poster size, and I was afraid the whole time that she would accuse me of being ‘fake’ or something since I was being polite. After the customer left, my manager called me into the office to tell me that the customer spoke to him afterwards, apologizing, and taking back her accusations about me. She said that I was very nice and helpful, and she was just mad at the situation and took it out on me. SERIOUSLY?!)

Too Much Effort For A Keyboard Warrior

, , , , | Right | August 8, 2017

(This is a discussion I have with a listener on my station’s Facebook page.)

Listener: “You’re the worst radio DJ ever, and I’m going to do everything it takes to get you fired!”

Me: “In that case, you’ll need my boss’s phone number, so you complain about me directly to him. You can reach him at [Head Office’s phone number].”

Listener: “NO!  Complaining on Facebook is easier!”

An Animal Lover And A Hugger

, , , , , | Related | August 8, 2017

(I work as a ticket collector for a public farm. They have a play area for children, with tons of attractions like a corn maze and bouncy castles, and of course, farm animals. The animals are caged in so they can’t injure the guests or vice versa. A teenager and their father comes up to the ticket booth. The father doesn’t seem to speak English well.)

Dad: “Can… Can you… hug the chickens?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, could you please repeat that?”

Teen: *cuts in, embarrassed* “Can visitors interact with the farm animals?”

Me: “No, sorry. They’re behind a fence for the visitors’ safety.”

Teen: “Oh.” *in Chinese to the dad* “I don’t want to go if I can’t hug the chickens.”

(We have two pet chickens in the entire farm. There are petting zoos for a reason.)

Procrastination Cost You Your Marriage

, , , , | Right | August 7, 2017

(I’m working the front desk at a hotel in the middle of July. We have been fully booked for the past two weeks and it is going to be pretty much the same for the next three. It is just before six pm and I only have one check-in left when a man in his mid-twenties comes in.)

Customer: “Hiya! I’m here to check in!”

Me: “Absolutely! Your name, please?”

Customer: “Sure, it’s [Customer].”

Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t seem to have a reservation under that name. Could it be under someone else’s name?”

Customer: “What? No, it’s got to be under my name. I booked all the rooms myself. 32 rooms for three days each. You guys even already took the full payment from my dad’s credit card.”

(He digs through his satchel and pulls out some papers and hands me a group booking contract with a list of 32 confirmation numbers on them. Reading over the contract I realize that things are about to get heated. I pull his information for the system and read over the notes before I address him again.)

Me: “Well, it does appear that you HAD a reservation with us, but unfortunately it was for May 22nd to the 25th.”

Customer: “Well, yeah, that was when we were originally planning to get married. We moved the date back so we could get married on her parent’s anniversary. We thought it would be romantic.”

Me: “Yes, well, unfortunately it doesn’t appear that anybody contacted us to change the date and as per your contract here you had to give notice of any change seven days prior to the arrival date. It also says here in the notes that our manager tried to contact you several times by phone, on your mobile, and by email, and never received a response. You were marked as no shows.”

Customer: “Yeah, I kinda dropped the ball on that one and I was too busy with work and stuff to return your calls or emails. I figured when we didn’t show up you’d figure out we were coming another time and just hold our rooms for us.”

Me: “Sir, I’m terribly sorry but it doesn’t work that way. Your reservation was cancelled when you didn’t show up or contact us. We had no way of knowing why you didn’t come or if you were planning to come at all. As much as I’d like to help you we are booked solid and so is every other hotel in town. I’m so sorry.”

Customer: “I don’t understand. You guys already took the payment for the rooms, so what should it matter? Just give me the rooms now.”

Me: “Sir, I can’t. I have none to give. And we took the payment for the rooms because that’s what your contract stipulated. I can explain the situation to the general manager and see if she is willing to refund you due to the circumstances but to be honest, I highly doubt that she will.”

Customer: “This is insane! Are you telling me that just because I didn’t call you guys you’re taking my dad’s money and refusing me service?! I’ve got, like, maybe 30 people at my house now and probably another 12 to 15 coming in. I need these rooms. I booked them months ago!”

Me: “I understand that but like I said, you never contacted us to change the date and you refused to return our calls or emails to explain why your group hadn’t come in on the day you booked for. You had a contract and it was up to you to hold up your end. 32 rooms is nearly half the rooms we have in the entire building. We couldn’t simply put them on permanent reserve on the off chance that you were going to come in another time. We would have lost an incredible amount of money.”

Customer: “This is unbelievable! What am I supposed to do? Yeah, I screwed up. I pulled a boneheaded move; I admit that but it was a mistake. I have a lot of people depending on me and an already rocky relationship riding on this. I don’t understand why you won’t just help me.”

Me: “I understand that you have a lot riding on this. I’ve been married and I know how stressful the whole ordeal can be. But I simply don’t have 32 rooms to give you. I don’t even have one room available. There is really nothing I can do for you other than to give you the phone numbers for some other hotels in [Next Major City].”

Customer: “WHAT?! That’s nearly four hours away. How the h*** are we going to get all these people over there and still get to the reception hall? This is crazy. Please, you must have something. Some extra rooms you keep for emergencies; some guests you can kick out. Anything, I’m begging you! I made a mistake. Why can’t you be compassionate?”

Me: “I’m sorry; I really have nothing available. There is nothing more I can do. I understand that it was a mistake but this is no different than if you had failed to contact the reception hall, the church, and the caterer to change the dates. They wouldn’t be able to help you now either because they too would have considered you a no-show and went on to book other weddings or events.”

(At this the customer’s face goes white and he just stands there for a minute.)

Me: “You… you didn’t call them either, did you?”

Customer: “I’m f***ed. I am totally f***ed. My parents spent a fortune, HER parents spent even more. Oh, my God…”

Me: “Dude, I am so sorry.”

Customer: “I’ve screwed myself. My girlfriend is gonna leave me. She’s on her way to decorate the reception hall now with her sister; she’s gonna be crushed and royally pissed. There’s no going back from this. All I had to do was call and change the dates. That was ALL I had to do other than booking the rooms.”

Me: “I’m sorry.”

Customer: “I had ONE JOB!”

(With that he turned and walked out with his head hanging down, still mumbling to himself that his life was over. I don’t know how things turned out for him but whoever you are, I hope things worked out and that you learned the importance of not procrastinating.)

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