(We sell cosmetics at our store and often give away things with certain products. One customer insists on receiving these things without purchasing the required products.)
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I cannot give away things for free; it is against our store’s policy.”
Customer: “Oh, my God! Did I ever say I wanted free things? I said I wanted gifts!”
(A customer hands me a coupon.)
Customer: “This is for up to $12.99.”
(This is kind of weird, but I assume she is just trying to help me by showing me the fine print. I check it over, and it does say that the item is free up to that value, so I scan through her item — which is only $7.49 — and take the value of the item off. Immediately after that item, however, she has an identical item, and as I go to grab it, she interrupts.)
Customer: “So, the rest of the $12.99 comes off the second item, right?”
Me: “Um, no, it’s for one item, so you just get the $7.49 off.”
Customer: “No. It’s for up to $12.99, so I get the $12.99 off if I buy these two items.”
Me: “No, see, it says right here on the coupon that it’s just for one item, so I can only take that much off.”
(She takes a deep breath before glaring at me.)
Customer: “No. That’s not how it works. My friend had the same coupon, and when she got home and saw they only took the $7.49 off, she came back in, and they gave her the full $12.99 off, so you have to give me the $12.99, too.”
Me: “Well, um, I’m sorry, but–“
Customer: “Is there anyone you can call over that I can speak with?”
Me: “Um, let me grab my supervisor…”
(I grab her and bring her over. The woman repeats her story, and my supervisor carefully reads the coupon.)
Supervisor: “No, I’m sorry, but [My Name] was right; this coupon is only valid on one item. You can only get the $7.49 off. The $12.99 is just there because places price things different and it needs to have a maximum value to protect us.”
(With a huff, the woman grabs the coupon back.)
Customer: “Fine! I’ll take it somewhere else and get them to do it right!”
(She stormed out.)
During a busy breakfast in a fast food restaurant, the kitchen was backed up, and customers were waiting about four to five minutes for their order, which I didn’t consider unreasonable in the circumstances.
One customer, who was waiting, piped up with, “Are they catching the chickens?” — for the eggs, I assume. My first thought was that if she was going to be impatient, she could at least be original.
At that moment, a metallic piece of kitchen equipment fell to the floor with a loud clang, causing the kitchen person to screech, and a loud commotion ensued. With a straight face, I immediately replied, “It sounds like they caught it. It shouldn’t be long now.”
All the customers present had a laugh and proceeded to wait patiently.
As I come into work at the department store where I’m head of maintenance, I am greeted by my manager telling me that this is a rock, paper, scissors type of incident, and then he leads me upstairs. I am very confused until I see a customer with his pants around his ankles, bent over, pooping.
He methodically goes along a good distance… pooping. Then, security arrives on the scene. This man continues pooping. I observe that he’s been storing this up for a special occasion.
Eventually, the police arrive. We all stand around until he finishes. I have to clean up. Not a great way to start my shift.
(We have a ride called the bumper boats. Basically, you drive around and crash into each other. While helping people out of their boats, I notice someone getting out by themselves.)
Me: “Just a second, I need you to wait until I help you out of your boat.”
Customer: “Really?”
Me: “Yes, if we don’t hold the boats still they can move suddenly. Also, if we don’t lock the boat in, it’s going to drift away.”
(The customer looks down at the boat for a second, then back to me, looking slightly bewildered.)
Customer: “They can do that?”
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