The Boss Is An Idiot Every Day Of The Week

, , , | Working | August 11, 2017

(This takes place on a Monday.)

Me: “So, how much of this lettuce do you want cut today?”

Manager: “Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.”

Me: “…what?”

Manager: “We cut the lettuce on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.”

Me: “Yes. I know that. How much do you–”

Manager: “Monday, Wednesday, Friday.”

Me: “Yes. How much–”

Manager: “Seriously, [My Name], you should know this by now. Lettuce and tomatoes are Monday, Wednesday, and…?”

Me: “… Friday?”

Manager: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay. But how much?”

Manager: “And onion rings are Tuesday and Thursday.”

Me: “Yes. I’ve got that. But I need to know how much lettuce you want cut today.”

Manager: “…”

Me: “…”

Manager: “Monday. Wednesday. And. Friday.”

Me: “…”

Manager: “…”

Me: “So… half a box?”

Manager: “…and Friday.”

Me: “Okay, [Manager].”

Your Ink Or Your Life

, , , , | Right | August 11, 2017

(There are usually a few days every winter where most stores in our mall close early due to bad winter weather. On this day, we close the store at three pm as the blowing snow has already caused many accidents, which then closes many main roads out of and into town. We close before it gets dark for the safety of our staff who would otherwise have to drive home or into work in the dark. Many other stores in the mall also close at three pm or even earlier that day. We have a sign on the door apologizing about being closed, and I have just let out the last customer and locked the doors, when a lady comes and yells at me through the doors.)

Customer: “WHAT?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!”

Me: “Yes, sorry, we closed 10 minutes ago because of the weather.”

Customer: “ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I NEED INK!”

Me: “I’m sorry.”

Customer: “ALL I NEED IS INK! JUST LET ME GET MY INK!”

Me: “We’ve already taken all the tills off. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “THIS IS RIDICULOUS! CLOSING BECAUSE OF THE WEATHER! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!”

(She storms off, swearing.)

Me: *to myself* “It’s snowing so bad out you can’t even see across the road, but yes, it’s ridiculous not to expect people to drive in that for a minimum wage job. Sure.”

(My manager who lived out of town didn’t even drive home that night; she stayed in a hotel across the street.)

They Can Help With Harassment Insurance

, , , , , , | Working | August 10, 2017

(I’ve been getting calls almost daily from an insurance company — although I am sceptical that it is one — and I’ve politely turned them down every time. This has been going on for about two weeks, with phone calls and flyers, and I finally have enough over the last two days.)

Day #1:

Rep #1: *goes into sales pitch*

Me: “Hold on a moment, I can’t hear you over my TV.”

Rep #1: “Oh, what are you watching, darling, The Kardaaaashians?”

Me: “Why, no, a History of Cannibalism– Hey, he hung up!”

Day #2:

(I call their listed number after getting three calls in 15 minutes, and the rep starts into the sales pitch.)

Me: “Hold it! I want to speak to a supervisor.”

Rep #2: “Ma’am, I can help you with all your insurance needs.”

Me: “Oh, not with this one. Supervisor, now.”

Supervisor: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Me: “Is your company aware what ‘harassment’ is?”

Supervisor: “Ma’am?”

Me: “I have been getting calls daily for two weeks from you guys, sometimes up to three times a day. When I don’t answer at work, I get called five minutes apart! I was insulted by your rep yesterday, and one called me ‘Mrs’, when my information clearly says ‘Miss.’ Minor, but to me that says you do not have proper authorization to my information, and are a scam. So, are these phone calls and flyers stopping, or do I need to go to the police for harassment?”

Supervisor: “Ma’am, we just want you to have the proper insurance in the case of an accident!”

Me: “Great, but I am rather old fashioned and do not conduct such business over the telephone with a cold caller! I have turned down every single call, I have not returned one flyer, and I do not like getting three calls in 15 minutes while I am at work! So, will the calls and flyers stop, or do I need to go to the police?”

Supervisor: “We’ll remove you from our list, ma’am. Have a nice day!”

(Rude of me, maybe. I get that they’re just doing a job. But enough was enough!)

Completely Blowing Up

, , , , | Right | August 8, 2017

(A customer is talking about something that she wants me to blow up to poster size, and telling me that it’s from a certain magazine, and as she’s talking I’m just thinking ‘oh man, I don’t even know if I can copy this’ … So when she’s done talking about it, I start to tell her it might be copyrighted.)

Me: “So, since this is from a magazine, and the page has been cut out, I don’t know what their copyright says. Maybe I can Google the magazine and see if it says anything on their website or something.”

Customer: “I’m not selling it or anything, so it’s fine.”

Me: “Depends on the copyright. Some copyrights specify more than others, and since we don’t have the whole magazine here, I can’t see what it says. Some copyrights are quite strict.”

Customer: “But it’s just for a present. I want a poster of it.”

Me: “Yeah, I know, but for example, if someone wanted a poster of a celebrity, they are supposed to find a poster from a company that is licenced to sell a poster of that celebrity. People aren’t supposed to get a picture off the Internet and blow that up to poster size.”

Customer: “People do that all the time.”

Me: “I’m sure they do, but they’re not allowed. Let me just Google the magazine, in case their copyright information is listed. What was the name of the magazine again?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Um, but you just told me the name of it a few minutes ago.”

Customer: “NO, I DIDN’T! YOU WEREN’T LISTENING TO ME!”

Me: *confused at this strange turn* “Um… okay… maybe I can still find it.”

(I begin Googling names I thought I remembered her saying, to see if something comes up.)

Customer: “I don’t understand why can’t you just blow this up!”

Me: “Because I’m not sure what the copyright on it says. It’s just our company copyright policy. It’s protecting the magazine company, just like any other people who have copyrights.”

Customer: “Can I talk to you manager!? Anyone else! I need to talk to your manager!”

Me: “Sure.” *I sigh when I say sure*

Customer: “Well, aren’t you sassy!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say it like that.”

Customer: “You just have horrible customer service, you know that?! I can’t believe you!”

(After my manager comes out, and tries to explain our policy to her, and how I’m correct, she interrupts him to say that I have horrible customer service and that I was “flippant” with her.)

Me: “I apologize. What did I say that upset you? I didn’t mean to be rude and I don’t want to continue to do that, so if you tell me what I did, maybe I can correct it for the future.”

(I’m trying not to cry at this point, and I’m sure you can hear that through my voice.)

Customer: “You were FLIPPANT!”

Me: “How?”

Customer: “Because you have HORRIBLE CUSTOMER SERVICE! YOU WERE FLIPPANT!”

Me: “Okay, again, I apologize, but I didn’t mean to be. I know when I said ‘sure,’ it came out a little rude, but what else did I do?”

Customer: “I SAID YOU WERE FLIPPANT! What you should have done, is tell me ‘I’m sorry this isn’t something we can normally do, but let me get my manager so we can work something out’.”

Me: “Yes, but you see, when it comes to copyright, there is no ‘working out’ that we can do. It’s a serious offence, and we can’t just bend the rules for it.”

Customer: “You should just let the customer be right!”

(My manager stepped in to explain how we couldn’t do that, and how I could be fined personally, so it was a chance we can’t take. I ended up booking in an order of plaque mounting for her photo, instead of blowing it up to poster size, and I was afraid the whole time that she would accuse me of being ‘fake’ or something since I was being polite. After the customer left, my manager called me into the office to tell me that the customer spoke to him afterwards, apologizing, and taking back her accusations about me. She said that I was very nice and helpful, and she was just mad at the situation and took it out on me. SERIOUSLY?!)

Too Much Effort For A Keyboard Warrior

, , , , | Right | August 8, 2017

(This is a discussion I have with a listener on my station’s Facebook page.)

Listener: “You’re the worst radio DJ ever, and I’m going to do everything it takes to get you fired!”

Me: “In that case, you’ll need my boss’s phone number, so you complain about me directly to him. You can reach him at [Head Office’s phone number].”

Listener: “NO!  Complaining on Facebook is easier!”

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