Back Up On Your Expectations

, | Learning | May 29, 2017

(I am sitting in driving school and we are learning about reversing. Because all the shops are within walking distance of where I grew up I don’t see the need to get a car so I’m a little older than everyone in the class, but know next to nothing about driving. My instructor, however, seems to think because I’m older I should know more than my classmates.)

Instructor: “Okay, everyone, we’re going to learn about reversing. What are the colors of your reverse lights?”

(One student says red but the rest of the class can’t figure out the color of the other light. Before I can say anything the class sends out the guesses I was going to say so I stay quiet trying to think of what else it could be.)

Instructor: *turns to me* “[My Name], do you know what color the final light is?”

Me: “No idea.”

Instructor: *annoyed* “Why not?!”

Me: “Because I’m usually IN the car when it’s backing up.”

Got The Cleanest Concrete In The Business

, , , , | Working | May 26, 2017

(I’m the bad employee in this situation. I work as a cashier at a home retail store, and one of the services that we offer during the summer months is a check-out till in our outdoor lumber run. Naturally, this building doesn’t get cleaned a lot, so in a few minutes of downtime, I’m wiping down the windows. A customer comes up behind me.)

Me: *seeing the customer* “Oh, hello. One moment, please.”

Customer: “Not a problem. It looks like you were on a mission there.”

(I put down my cleaning supplies, and turn to assist the customer.)

Me: “Sorry for the wait. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I need to buy 30 bags of concrete.”

Me: “All right. We don’t have the codes at the register, so I’ve just got to walk down and scan it.”

Customer: “Not a problem.”

(I enter the quantity into the system, and then walk down to the concrete. Confidently, I reach out — and promptly spray window cleaner on the concrete. Looking down, I burst out laughing. I’d grabbed the cleaner instead of my scanner.)

Me: “Oh. I grabbed the wrong product by accident. If you’ll just give me a moment, I’ll get you rung through.”

Customer: “Don’t worry. It looks like it’s been a long day for you. Besides, it made my day.”

The Guys Who Linger In Lingerie

, , , | Romantic | May 25, 2017

(I am about 16 or 17 working at a low end department store in the lingerie department. I am also tiny, 5’0″ – 110 lbs, and look much younger than my age. A man who looks to be in his 50s or 60s comes in and starts browsing while creepily staring at me. I can feel him staring and notice that he has undone the top few buttons of his shirt. As I am trying to figure out what to do he grabs something off the rack and approaches me holding up a tiny, yellow lace negligee.)

Customer: “Excuse me, you are about the same size as my wife and I was wondering if you could try this on for me so I can see how it’ll look like on my wife.”

Me: “Uh, NO!”

(Cue security escorting him out.)

Married To A Germaniac

, , , , | Romantic | May 24, 2017

(I speak German. My wife doesn’t.)

Wife: “What does ‘polter’ mean?”

Me: “It’s kind of like… ‘geräusch.’ Which is another German word… and does not help you at all!”

They Don’t Have To Be Your Child To Be A Mother

, , | Hopeless | May 23, 2017

My mom used to work at a bingo place with another woman. She isn’t too old but she is very disabled (she has MS).

As time passes, it gets worse and she ends up being very bad financially. The woman has three sons: the eldest is a drug dealer, the middle just doesn’t bother to help at all, and the third is illiterate and has some mental issues, but always stays with his mother.

Since the woman doesn’t know much, and the only son willing to help is the illiterate one that doesn’t know much either, they need help. They got another woman to help them out with everything they didn’t understand, but sadly she took advantage of them. Whenever she provided help she made unreasonable requests back. She would try and force the woman’s son to do things for her (mow her lawn, shovel the snow, etc.) Again, he was only one was willing to help and it was too much for him.

Eventually my mother steps in and helps her. She made sure to always be there when bankers or people from the health organization need to talk to them. She handles everything that they don’t understand. She even gets the woman into a very good retirement home.

Because she is very poor and appears to be quite scruffy, no one was willing to help them. But my mother fought for them and thanks to her the woman is well taken care of and in a better place.

The third son is a grown man, in his early thirties. From stereotypical appearance, he is not someone you would want to meet in an alleyway. His clothes are always full of dirt and he has a big bushy beard with large hair. He is very unkempt basically and doesn’t speak much. Yet despite this, he is the one of the most kind people you could ever meet. All his brothers left their mother, leaving him. He had the option to leave as well but he didn’t. He stayed with his mother and worked his butt off all the time to help her. He didn’t stop, even when he became a grown man. He is the only son that stayed and that’s just amazing.

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