A Sign That Common Sense Already Checked Out

, , , , | Right | September 5, 2017

(I’m cashing out a customer.)

Me: “Debit, credit, or cash?”

Customer: “Here is my card.” *puts it on the table*

Me: “Okay, you can just insert, swipe, or tap whenever you’re ready.”

Customer: “No, I just sign something.”

Me: “You sign the receipt, but you have to insert, swipe, or tap it first.”

Customer: “No! I just sign something!”

Me: “Okay, so, in order for you to sign the receipt, you have to insert your card.”

(The customer continues to refuse, and there is a line growing, so I swipe his card, it goes through, and the receipt prints. I normally don’t like to swipe a customer’s card, because I tapped a customer’s card once and they freaked out, because they didn’t know they had tap and thought I knew their pin.)

Customer: “There! That I sign!”

Dying For This Job

, , | Right | September 4, 2017

(I work in customer service for a phone company and a customer calls in to see where the technician assigned to his service installation is.)

Customer: “Hi. A technician was supposed to be here between one pm and three pm. It is now 3:30 pm and no one has showed up.”

Me: “I’ll check with dispatch and see what I can find out for you, sir.”

(I call dispatch to inquire on the order and receive some grim news. I go back to my customer.)

Me: “I have some terrible news, sir. The technician assigned to your order was in a motor vehicle accident about an hour ago, and was fatally injured.”

Customer: *with nasty tone of voice* “Well, then bloody well send another technician!”

Me: *briefly freezing from the sheer lack of compassion on the part of the customer, and then switching right to nasty mode* “Sir, this is our busy season, and the company is not in the habit of keeping spare technicians handy in case one gets killed on the job.”

Customer: “…f*** you!” *click*

Telemarketers Have Done A Real Job On You

, , , , | Working | September 4, 2017

(Telemarketers seem to be running rampant and keep calling me at ridiculous hours. My parents tell me to hang up the phone immediately. I get a phone call at 7:30 am, and luckily I am up for school.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “I’m looking for [Name].”

Me: “Sorry, there is no [Name] here.”

Caller: “No [Name]?”

Me: “Yeah, sorry. Good luck!”

(I hung up and didn’t think much of it, until around lunch when I saw I had a voicemail. It was a job offer that I had been waiting to hear back from. They said in the message that they accidentally misread my name, but still wanted me. I am so glad I was polite!)

Unfiltered Story #92611

, , , | Unfiltered | September 3, 2017

A couple with a five- or six-year old daughter is browsing in my bookstore. After checking out the children’s books for a bit, the girl comes up to my desk.

Girl: I like your music. It’s catchy.

(This may have been the first time the Beethoven String Quartets were described as “catchy”, but you have great taste, little girl!)

Unfiltered Story #92607

, | Unfiltered | September 3, 2017

(I work for a municipality answered the information line)

*Picking up phone*
Me: (standard phone greeting for city)
Older woman: I need the phone number for *name* garbage pick-up company!
Me: Well that company doesn’t sound familiar, they don’t pick up garbage for us.
Woman: NO! I live in *small town about half an hour away* and they didn’t pick up my garbage! I need their phone number!
Me: Ok we only look after garbage pick-up in *city* but let me look up the number for you.
*starts typing*
Woman: HELLO?
Me: Yes, I am just looking the number up. It’s 35…
Woman: NO! That’s long distance, I need a local number!
Me: Well that is the only number listed for them.
Woman: THAT WON’T WORK! GIVE ME A LOCAL NUMBER!
Me: Sorry, I don’t have any other phone numbers for them.
Woman: Well then give me the number for your local garbage company, they will have it!
Me: I am not sure that our local company will have a phone number for a company an hour away…
Woman: I SAID GIVE ME THE LOCAL COMPANY!
Me: Alright, but I am not sure if they will be able to help you.
Woman: GOOD! Now was that so hard?
Me:…. no? *Thinking: YES!*

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