Taking Stock Of Your Laziness

, , , , , | Working | January 19, 2018

(I come out of the back room with my hands full of toys. One of my new employees sees me struggling and comes to help me.)

Me: “Can you stock those walking dogs for me? I have a lot more stuff to bring out.”

Employee: “Sure.”

(I go to the back room to grab more stuff, and when I come out I see him at the front talking to another employee.)

Me: “Wow, that was fast!”

Employee: “Uh-huh.”

(I think nothing of it until an hour later when I go to sign out and see the dogs thrown haphazardly in the corner of the back room. I grab them and storm up the employee.)

Me: “We clearly have a different definition of what ‘stocking’ means.”

Mother Nature, You’re Needed On Aisle Two

, , , , | Right | January 19, 2018

(My store has an outdoor gardening section, which is currently buried under a meter of snow.)

Customer: “Excuse me. When do you get the live plants in?”

Me: “Just as soon as the weather is nice enough for them to survive outside.”

Customer: “Well, when will that be?”

Me: “Um, after the snow melts.”

Customer: “Yeah, but when?”

Unfiltered Story #103851

, , | Unfiltered | January 19, 2018

My coworker was helping an older couple with ice makers

Husband: Do these ice makers make ice?

Coworker: Yes these ice makers make ice.

Wife: Are you sure?

A Rose By Any Other Blame

, , , , , | Related | January 18, 2018

(I am twelve, waiting outside for my dad and my sister to finish up with something in the garage. We have a pretty steep driveway with big rocks dividing where we park our cars from the slanted rose bush gardens. I am walking across these rocks when I lose my footing, and feel myself lose my balance. Although I try, I know I am going to fall into the rose bush, so I just put my hands up to my face to protect myself. When I fall, I scrape my chin up pretty bad and starting crying from the thorns. I call out for help. As I try to climb back out, my sister and my dad just looking at me, confused.)

Me: “Why didn’t you help me?”

Dad: “There wasn’t a lot we could do to stop it.”

(This is when I start crying more.)

Dad: “Sorry, sweetie. I’ll get you a bandaid!”

Sister: “Hey, [My Name], you know, it’s probably not a good idea to go diving into the rose bush.”

(I was hurt because it wasn’t like I did it on purpose, but then they explained to me what they saw from their angle. Apparently, they saw me walking, then I turned toward the rose bush, raised up my hands, and did a perfect dive off the rocks. So, from their angle it looked liked I purposely dove off the rocks. To this day, they still bring up my short-lived “rock diving” career.)

Annoying Customer Phone Home

, , , , , | Right | January 18, 2018

(This happens over the phone.)

Customer: “Is [Coworker #1] working today?”

Me: “No, sorry, he’s not, but [Coworker #2] is. Would you like me to get him?”

Customer: “No, it needs to be [Coworker #1].”

Me: “Hmm. Well, he doesn’t work today. But all the electronics associates know the same stuff, so if you have a question, I’m sure [Coworker #2] can help you.”

Customer: “Nooooo! It has to be [Coworker #1]!”

Me: “Well, he’s off today, so you’ll have to call back, or come into the store tomorrow, or something. Sorry about that.”

Customer: “What am I going to doooo?”

Me: “You can wait until tomorrow, or you can talk to someone else.”

Customer: “But I can’t wait until tomorrow!”

Me: “Then, I will get another electronics associate for you.”

Customer: “Nooo! It has to be [Coworker #1]! Can you just call him at home?”

Me: “Um, no. No, I can’t call him at home.”

Customer: “Can you give me his number so I can call him at home?”

Me: “No, I can’t do that.”

Customer:Ugh! Fine, I’ll call back tomorrow!”

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