Bold Of You To Expect Customers To Read

, , , | Right | April 7, 2020

(I work in a copy shop. We have a self-serve computer that is mostly used for when people want to scan something and email it out. The scanning program is not the most user-friendly, and the instructions that the head office provided us are not very clear or helpful for people who don’t really understand computers.

Even people who are good with computers often have trouble following all the steps on the instruction label, so one slow day, I make my own and cover the old instructions with them. The new ones made by me have easy, numbered, step-by-step instructions with pictures, things circled in the pictures, and terms like “double click,” “click once,” and “computer screen” are used.

The one step that EVERYONE always missed with the old instructions I make sure to bold and word more simply in my version. I’m so proud of the beautiful instruction sheet and I’m sure anyone will be able to follow it.)

Coworker: “Yeah, your instructions didn’t work.”

Me: “What do you mean!? Someone was still confused by them?”

Coworker: “Yeah, they didn’t do [step everyone always misses].”

Me: “But I bolded it!”

(There’s also a picture with the step circled.)

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Unfiltered Story #191593

, , | Unfiltered | April 7, 2020

(So my girlfriend and I go out for breakfast at a very popular chain of “all day breakfast” places, to be seated in a booth adjacent to the customer in this story, who is there with what appears to be her 10(ish) year old daughter. We have the same waitress between the two tables, and they have just been served their meal.)
Customer: Excuse me, but this is not toasted (showing lightly browned toast), THIS is still bread.
Waitress: I will take that back and get it fixed for you right away, do you prefer it to be much darker?
Customer: Its NOT toast, THAT is still bread.
(the waitress leaves and comes back shortly with the darker toast, because of the rudeness of the customer, both my girlfriend and I are now watching what transpires, and it is a dark toast, but still clearly brown, and not burned)
Customer: What the hell, this is burnt, I’m not going to eat this.
Waitress: I’m very sorry about that, I will get another order for you right away.
Customer: Don’t bother, at this point I’m not going to eat it anyway, first you bring me bread now BURNED?
Waitress: I’m very sorry, I misjudged the amount you wanted it toasted. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to make this better for you.
(The waitress leaves, goes about the other tables, the entire time this lady is ranting and going on about how horrible they are here to her daughter…who she also stopped from eating the toast, because it was burned. The waitress returned to her booth a couple of more times to see if there was any way she could make things right for the table, only to be turned away each time. Finally the time comes for the bill, the waitress already has removed the cost of the toast from the bill for her and her daughter’s orders, only to more complaints from the lady who is now making herself ready to leave. The waitress stops by our table to see if we would like anything else.)
Me: No, thank you, but our compliments to the kitchen, our toast was perfect.
(The lady storms out with her daughter as the waitress makes her way out of the dining area to the kitchen, out of view from customers to keep from bursting out laughing. By the time she returns to our table, I have already gotten a comment card from the front desk and have recounted what had transpired commending the waitress for her patience and professionalism)
Waitress: Thank you for that, she’s always in here and pulls this sort of thing, but it’s the first time I had gotten her.
Manager: Thank you for filling this out, she’s already called in to complain (this is only about 2 minutes after her departure), to say what horrible service she had gotten, how unprofessional we all are and that she “would come back her, but she didn’t want to have to go to jail for what she’d do if she did”.

Getting It Right Is A Long Shot

, , , , | Right | April 6, 2020

(I work switchboard for the local teaching hospital. This means we deal with a lot of trainee doctors and medical students; they come from all over the country and province, often only for a few weeks at a time. Sometimes they make me question the future of our health system.)

Caller: “This is [Caller]. I’m a med student. I have forgotten my pager and need calls to go through to my cell phone.”

Me: “Okay, the number we have on file for you is [number].”

Caller: “That’s right.”

Me: “Is that long-distance?”

(Saskatchewan has two area codes, but they both cover the whole province, so either can be local or long-distance. If it’s a long-distance call, you need to add a 1 in front so that the phone system knows it’s long-distance. Generally speaking, if you need to dial a number anywhere in the province outside your local town/city, you need the 1.)

Caller: “Well, it’s a Saskatchewan number.”

Me: “But is it a Saskatoon number? Is this a long-distance number?”

Caller: *noncommittal noise*

Me: “I need to know if this is long-distance so we can dial it correctly to reach you.”

Caller: “My understanding of long-distance is that it is only outside the province.”

(This is a future doctor, people.)

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They Can Handle Less Data Than A Micro SD

, , , , | Right | April 6, 2020

Customer: “I need a stick thing for my tablet.”

Me: “It looks like you’ll need a micro SD card. They’re in aisle two, and if you head over there, I’ll get someone to meet you so they can help you find the right one.”

Customer: “What do I need? I need some kind of stick.”

Me: “A micro SD card.”

Customer: “What are those?”

Me: “Little memory cards. They’re in aisle two, and I’ll get someone to meet you there to help you.”

Customer: “Okay, so, I need a… what?”

Me: “A micro SD card.”

Customer: “I don’t know anything about them.”

Me: “That’s okay, someone can help you. They’re in aisle two and I’ll get someone to meet you there to help.”

Customer: “Okay, so what do I need?”

Me: “A micro SD card.”

Customer: “Where are they?”

Me: *pause* “Aisle two.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(The next customer in line comes up to the counter.)

Customer #2: “That was painful to watch.”

(I laugh a little.)

Customer #2: “I need to ship something.”

Me: “Okay, we’re going to go all the way to end over there.”

Customer: “All the way where?”

Me: “To the end of the counter.”

Customer: “I know, I’m just kidding.”

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Don’t Carry On Insulting If You Can’t Carry Out

, , , , , , , | Working | April 6, 2020

(I am paying for a big, heavy bag of cat food. The cashier, a high-school-aged girl, offers to carry it out.)

Me: “Sure. Thanks. That’d help.”

(She turns to another teen girl coworker behind her.)

Cashier: “Hey, [Coworker]! Your fat, ugly a** needs to carry this bag out.”

(She talks softly enough that most people can’t hear, but I have good hearing.)

Me: “Hey! No. I want you to carry it.”

Cashier: “What?!”

Me: “Yeah. You need to carry it to my car. No cart. You have to carry it.”

Cashier: “I can’t.”

Me: “You can, ’cause I carried it up here, so chop-chop.”

Cashier: “I can’t leave my till.”

Me: “I’m off to move my car to the far side of the parking lot. See you there.”

(There was no one in line, and there was another cashier open, so I glared at her until she followed me out. And yes, I did move my car while she waited, struggling with the bag.)

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