They Let The Sleeping Dog Lie

, , , , , | Related | June 15, 2018

(My dad and I are staying with some old family friends. At one point, we decide to go visit one of his brothers, and our friend drives us there. She also brings her dog. We all have a nice time, pile back in the truck, and start heading back to their place. During the drive, she and her daughter start talking about a friend of theirs who had lost their dog. This makes me remember something…)

Me: “Wait… Where’s the dog?”

Friend: “What? OH, MY GOD, WE FORGOT THE DOG!”

(We immediately turned around, while I called my uncle and aunt. I got voicemail on both their phones, and awkwardly told thin air, “Yeah, so… We forgot a dog at your place, and we’re on our way back to come get him…” We got back to their place, my cousin let me in to retrieve the dog from the basement, and we went back on our way. Fortunately for him, he was a nearly 20-year-old, half-blind, mostly-deaf shih tzu, so I found him lounging on the couch without a care in the world, completely unaware that we had just very nearly abandoned him, and he happily sat on my lap for the ride home without a single hint of distress.)

Headless Cords Don’t Mean No Strings Attached

, , , , , | Right | June 15, 2018

As part of my very extensive job description, I do “additional” tech support on home safety devices; that is, I am not the priority call-taker. I help out as best as I can when needed.

One afternoon, this lady called in through our reception line instead of the help line to get help on her devices. The receptionist tried to get her information to either have someone help her out or call her back. She categorically refused to give a name, completely upset at the question. She now demanded to speak to a supervisor.

Again, the receptionist asked for a name to give to the supervisor, very politely. This time the lady lost it and started berating the receptionist. Being too polite to the customer, and knowing that I’m good at helping people, the receptionist walked over to my desk — halfway to the other end of the building — and put the cordless headset on my head, making a face that plainly said, “This one is yours; nice knowing you.” So, I introduced myself and asked how I might help.

Because it was a cordless headset, I walked back toward reception while talking just to make sure I didn’t lose the connection. After about 20 minutes of information for her products and additional info not related directly to our products — including deducing when her house was built and other features about it — she decided she wanted to talk to my manager, though she was in a good mood and thankful for my details. I “warm” transferred her to my manager after a brief recount of my conversation.

After having a quick chat with the receptionist and a bit of a laugh that the lady did not want to share even a pseudonym, I walked back to my desk. As I proceeded past my manager’s office, I heard her state to the lady, “I’m sure he’d be honoured, but he can’t do that. He’s a married father of three, and pretty loyal to his wife.” I burst out laughing.

It turned out she had a daughter in her 20s looking for a good man, and the lady was so impressed by my information, she thought I’d make a great son-in-law.

Since that night, my wife teases me about having a potential new mother-in-law.

Doesn’t Quite Get How Shopping Is Supposed To Work

, , , , | Right | June 14, 2018

(My dad and I are grabbing a shopping cart before we head into the grocery store. These carts have a slot to insert a quarter, so that they can be unhooked. It’s to prevent the carts from being stuck out in the parking lot, usually. I overhear an elderly man say, referring to these carts:)

Old Man: “What’s next? They’re going to get us to pay for shopping here, too?”

Oh, Mother!

, , , , , | Friendly | June 14, 2018

(My local gym has swimming lessons for kids, as well as an exercise area for adults. I’ve dropped off my daughter at her class and have gone to work out on the treadmill for a while. About ten minutes later…)

Gym Employee: “Excuse me; you need to come with me.”

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Gym Employee: “Your daughter is very ill. You shouldn’t have brought her here, and you need to come get her, right now!

Me: “Oh, boy. Okay, I’m coming.”

(I hop off treadmill, thinking this is odd, as she seemed fine when I left her. The employee and I arrive at the pool… where I see my daughter happily enjoying her lesson, looking as healthy as can be.)

Me: “Um… She doesn’t look ill to me.”

Gym Employee: “She’s very ill, and you need to take her home!” *grabs the hand of a little girl that I’ve never seen before and drags her up to me*

Me: “Um… That’s not my kid.”

Supervisor: “[Employee], I told you that the mother’s name was [Name]. Did you bother to ask this lady what her name is?”

Gym Employee: “Well, no, but you said that she was in the gym.”

Supervisor: “And how many women were in the gym?”

Gym Employee: “…”

Supervisor: “Go back and find the right one. This time, ask her what her name is!”

Some Goggles Into A Weird World

, , , , | Right | June 13, 2018

(I fix computers and electronics at a small-town electronics shop, in what is a pretty touristy town in the summer. In the winter the lake is frozen over and the tourists tend to stay home. It is currently the middle of winter, and well below freezing. My manager walks over.)

Manager: “Hey, you have a lot of experience working with small things; do you think you could fix this?”

(I look up to see a ten- to twelve-year-old girl peeking over my counter, and my manager hands me a pair of swim goggles with the nose-piece in the center unclipped from both eye cups.)

Me: “Uh… Sure? I can take a look?”

Manager: “I tried to get them back together, but my fingers just can’t work with something that small.”

(I manage to get the nose piece snapped back onto the eye cups, fixing the swimming goggles.)

Me: “Here you go.”

(My manager hands them back to the little girl, who whispers something to my manager and hands her something I can’t see. The little girl runs off happily.)

Manager: “You get a treat!”

(She hands me a small chocolate bar that the girl has given her to give me.)

Me: “Uh, thanks?”

Manager: “She couldn’t figure out why her mother sent her here to get those fixed. I guess because it’s difficult.”

(I was left very touched by the little girl sharing her treat, but very confused why she was sent to an electronics store to get swim goggles fixed… and wondering where she was going to go swimming in the frozen-over lake.)

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