Memoirs Of A Grader

, , , | Learning | September 21, 2017

(I am in a creative writing course. Our teacher gives us an assignment for which we must write about a profound change that occurs to a character in one of our favourite books. Basically, it has to be a life-changing event for the character, and has to directly cause their main journey in the book. We also have to use quotes that prove this point. I choose my favourite novel, “Memoirs of a Geisha.” I write about how the life-changing event for the character is having a man come into her life, early on in the novel, and take her away from her fishing village to where she becomes a geisha. The main character literally talks about how this change affects her life, and how she wouldn’t be a geisha if this hadn’t happened. I include that quote, confident I will receive a high mark, and am shocked when I only get a C.)

Me: “I don’t understand why I got this mark. You wrote that this couldn’t be ‘the life-changing event of the novel.’ Why?”

Teacher: “That quote you included happened on the first page of the book. A life-changing event can’t happen that early on.”

Me: “…you mean the quote where she says, ‘my life was forever changed by this man’?”

Teacher: “If that’s the quote that you said happened on page one, then yes. See, the event has to happen later on in the novel, and has to completely change the main character’s life.”

Me: “…the main character is literally saying this IS the life-changing event for her with that quote. It couldn’t be any clearer. Yes, she says that on page one, but it’s to foreshadow what happens later on in the book. The book is called Memoirs of a Geisha; if this event I’m talking about didn’t take place, she would have never become a geisha. There wouldn’t even be a book.”

Teacher: “It’s still too early in the book. The event shouldn’t happen on the first page.”

Me: “It doesn’t! Didn’t you read further on and see where I got the other quotes? The meeting between her and the man doesn’t happen until later. I just included that quote from the first page because she is saying the experience was life-changing.”

Teacher: “Well, there must be something else that happens further along in the book that’s more important. It can’t take place on the first page.”

(She refused to change my mark because I used a quote from the first page. I never saw her again after I finished the course, and I really want to meet her again so I can shove my English degree in her face.)

You’re Not Motivating Us To Help You Faster

, , , , | Right | September 21, 2017

(A car drives straight through our drive-thru without stopping at the order box. Keep in mind that we are timed for how fast we get cars through at the window. Once the customer is at the window:)

Customer: “Give me a small black, a turkey club, and two fruit explosion muffins.”

Me: “Certainly. But sir, I will ask that you please place your order at the order box on your future visits. It helps us ensure that you are not waiting in the drive-thru very long, and that we are able to get you through quicker.”

Customer: “That’s okay; I find this way helps you move faster.”

They Need A Rude Awakening

, , , | Right | September 21, 2017

(We have a two-lane drive-thru, so one lane has to cut off the other lane when driving through. I have just finished taking one lane’s order, and they begin to pull forward when they stop half-way, blocking the other lane’s path. A pedestrian walks up to the car and begins chatting to them. Soon, a line forms in both lanes, and cars are honking. It’s been several minutes, when I finally get onto the microphone and tell the car to pull forward as they are blocking traffic. At the window:)

Customer: “You really should be more considerate! It was really rude for you to tell me to move. And tell the cars behind me that they shouldn’t have honked at me!”

Me: *stunned*

That Joke Is More Than A Little Rough Around The Edges

, , , , | Right | September 19, 2017

(I work at a fast food coffee chain in Canada. Our coffee chain has gift cards that you can reload and swipe to pay. A customer is having trouble getting his to register, and on the third try, he yanks it roughly and it reads the card.)

Me: “Oh, hey! There you go; you got it!”

Customer: “Yep. It’s like a woman, you gotta be rough with it.”

Me: *long, stunned pause*

Customer: “Haha, just kidding!”

(My coworker and I are both women.)

Common Sense Was Cancelled Today

, , | Right | September 19, 2017

(I’m the idiotic customer here. My only excuse is that this is my first time using debit.)

Employee: “Okay, so that’s $8.59. Please insert chip or swipe card.”

Me: *swipes card upside down*

Employee: “Um, other way, miss.”

Me: “Okay.” *swipes card backwards*

Employee: “Strip facing the machine, please.”

Me: “Really sorry.” *swipes correctly*

Employee: “Okay, now choose which account, and put in your PIN. Then hit ‘confirm.’”

Me: *does steps, hits cancel transaction*

Me: “I am so sorry. I have no idea why I did that.”

Employee: *trying to contain laughter* “It’s okay, just try again.”

Me: *finishes order, leaves mortified*

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