Unfiltered Story #131645

, , | Unfiltered | December 8, 2018

(I work at a pet store which is one of a large chain, but the stores themselves are small. I’m working one night when the phone rings.)

Customer: Hi. I’m wondering if you guys do dog training.
Me: Well [store] itself doesn’t do it! but we work with a local trainer who’s great! I can give her your phone number if you’d like. As well, if you want to stop into the store we have flyers here that will give you $10 off a training program.
Customer: Alright. You’re located in [city] right?
Me: Yes. At the intersection of [street] and [street].
Customer: Well I’m in [city about two hours away]. I have a [pet store] near me and I wondered if they did dog training.
Me: Well sir, I would recommend you call them and ask them directly.
Customer: That’s a good idea. Thanks! (Hangs up)
Me: What just happened…?

The Final Unpedicured Nail In The Coffin

, , , , , | Right | December 7, 2018

(A wealthy-looking, middle-aged woman comes into the nail salon while I’m waiting for my appointment.)

Customer: “Hello. I’m here for my one o’clock appointment with [Nail Tech].”

Receptionist: “Okay, if I could just get your name, please?”

Customer: “It’s [Customer].”

Receptionist: “Oh, no, it looks like you’re late for your appointment.”

Customer: *laughs, thinking the receptionist is joking* “I know it’s 1:10 right now, but you know how it can just get so busy!”

Receptionist: “No, I mean your appointment was booked for noon.”

Customer: “No, it isn’t. I know for a fact that it was one o’clock.”

Manager: *takes over* “Ma’am, it’s written right here as being booked for 12:00 pm.”

Customer: “No, look.” *pulls out smartphone* “I have it written down here as… Oh. Oh, well. I guess the appointment was for noon. But I still need [Nail Tech] to do my mani-pedi now.”

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m very sorry but [Nail Tech] is booked up all day. However, we can have another employee help you at this time.”

Customer: “No, that won’t do. I must have [Nail Tech]. Anyone else is a waste of my time and money!”

Manager: “Well, we can book a new appointment with [Nail Tech] for another day.”

Customer: “No. I have a party tonight and I need my nails done before then! Can’t you just… give me someone else’s appointment with [Nail Tech], and schedule them with someone else?”

Manager: *starting to get impatient* “No, ma’am, we can’t do that.”

Customer: “You should have called me, then! I live only a couple blocks away! If you’d have called me when I missed my appointment, then I would have been here on time!”

Manager: “Well, we would have called you, ma’am, but you never gave us your phone number.”

Customer: “Well, I never! I guess I just won’t have my nails done for my dinner, then! I hope you feel bad about this!” *storms off in a huff*

Used Bookstores Need To Get Used To This

, , , , | Right | December 7, 2018

(I work at a secondhand bookstore, and it is obvious that we do not sell brand-new or never-even-opened books. And yet…)

Customer: *holds up a small stack of books* “Are these books new?”

Me: “No, sir, they’re used.”

Customer: *shuffles through his pile and holds up a book that was released quite recently* “But this one’s new.”

Me: “Yes and no. It’s secondhand.”

Customer: “But it is new.” *waves it in front of my face*

Me: *backing up slightly* “It might be a recently-released book, but it’s still secondhand.”

Customer: “Where are your other new books? I want brand new. Never been owned by someone.”

Me: “We’re a secondhand bookstore, sir. They’re all used.”

Customer: “Where are your new books?”

Me: *sigh* “We don’t have any kinds of books like that, sir. They’ve all been owned by someone else at some point.”

Customer: “What kind of bookstore are you?”

Me: “A used one, sir.”

(Wash. Rinse. Repeat.)

Egg-specting It Every Time

, , , , , , | Related | December 7, 2018

(I’ve never been able to eat eggs when they’re served on their own. It’s not an allergy, since I can eat them in baking with no problems. There’s something about the taste, smell, and texture that makes me gag. My mother-in-law has always known this about me, and yet… during a Christmas visit in 1992…)

Mother-In-Law: “[My Name], have some of this breakfast dish I made.”

Me: “No, thank you; I’ll just have some toast.”

Mother-In-Law: “Why not? I worked hard on that!”

Me: “It has eggs in it.”

Mother-In-Law: “Oh. Right.”

(During another visit in 1999…)

Mother-In-Law: “Ah, [My Name], there you are. I saved you some scrambled eggs.”

Me: “Um…”

Two-Year-Old Daughter: “Mummy doesn’t like eggs!”

Mother-In-Law: “What? Since when?”

(During another visit in 2012…)

Mother-In-Law: “[My Name], have a bagel tuna melt.”

Me: “Thank you! I love bagel melts.” *takes a bite* “Um, is there egg in the tuna?”

Mother-In-Law: “Of course!” *as though I am stupid to ask*

Me: *quietly to my husband* “Would you like mine? I’ll just have the soup.”

(It’s been over twenty-five years now, and I don’t think she’ll change. We’ve never gotten along, so I suspect that she’s “forgetting” on purpose.)

No One Ever Got Injured Eating Pizza

, , , , , | Healthy | December 7, 2018

I’m a very lazy person by nature. I’ll get up and walk around if I feel like it, but I never really go out of my way to try and stay fit. I’m also notorious for hating every sport except for swimming, due to poor performances in gym class. As part of a co-op program for college, I end up staying with my marathon-running, fitness-nut uncle for a month. He is constantly offering for me to join him for workouts or trips to the gym, but I always decline, and he never pushes it. He just wants to be polite and offer to let me come along.

One day, I decide I want to try it, so I get his help setting up a workout routine. When I go back to college at the end of the program, I try it myself without supervision. I end up hurting my hip and have to stop, but after a week or two, I notice that the pain is not going away. It takes me two years to get a proper doctor’s appointment for this — my community is notorious for long waits to see doctors for anything — and I am diagnosed with a muscle tear in my right hip.

So, to sum it up, I hate sports, but the first time I do an actual workout to try and get myself into shape, I come away with what is commonly called a “sports hernia.” Everyone who found out laughed at the sheer irony of it.

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