Come Out With The Weirdest Stuff

, , , , | Related | June 12, 2017

Back when I was 18 or 19, I went to visit my Opa (it’s German for grandfather).

Whenever I used the word “stuff,” he’d admonish me, and say that I should use “things” instead.

One evening as we finished dinner, I leaned back, patted my stomach, and said,

“That was good, but man, am I thinged.”

I absolutely deserved the smack upside the head I got.

You Get It’s For Security But You Really Don’t

, , , , | Right | June 12, 2017

(A customer is buying $100 in gift cards to a couple different stores and restaurants. It is company policy that a manager must verify any credit card used to purchase gift cards with photo ID.)

Me: “That will be $100.00. And how are you paying today?”

Customer: “Credit card.”

Me: “All right, I just need my supervisor to verify the transaction.” *calls supervisor over*

(My supervisor verifies her card with ID and the customer pays silently. After the payment goes through, the customer speaks up.)

Customer: “Why do you have to check my ID?! I mean, what if it was really busy? They trust you with cash so why don’t you just do the sale? This is so inconvenient.”

Me: “I apologize, but it is company policy that  a supervisor must verify your credit card with ID to prevent credit card theft. We’ve had stolen credit cards used here in the past.”

Customer: “I get that it’s for security, but, like, this is so inconvenient!” *storms off*

You’ll Be The Prints-able One Day

, , , , , | Learning | June 12, 2017

(As part of our degree program we are required to go on a total of three placements, the first of which must be in a school. For my first placement I am put in a grade seven classroom. The kids have just started learning how to use a computer program that allows them to make bridges. In addition to there being a placement student (me) in the class, there is also an EA. This woman is crazy. She is seriously always two seconds away from being raging pissed. The students fear this woman; they find her hilarious, but are respectful. The students are assigned to use this pretty neat bridge building program to make a bridge that follows certain criteria. If they are able to successfully create said bridge, they are to print it out and hand it in and head outside. All is going well with the world, until this one kid, that is. Obviously, despite knowing how to use computers, he was never taught the proper etiquette. By that, I mean if your document doesn’t come out the first time you click print, don’t just keep clicking it fifty million times. However, he doesn’t know this. Not until the EA from hell goes over to the printer to see why it is going nuts.)

EA: “WHOSE BRIDGE IS THIS?! ONE! THAT’S HOW MANY COPIES YOU NEED TO PRINT! JUST ONE! WHOSE IS THIS, HUH? I WANT AN ANSWER NOW!”

(I notice the student responsible as his face turns the colour of snow and I’m pretty sure I can see the sweat drops from where I stand. I discreetly slink over, hands in pockets, and without making eye contact drop a little advice.)

Me: “So for future notice, if it doesn’t print the first time, just give it a minute, all right?”

Kid: “Uh… yeah… um…” *sweats*

Me: “I would suggest slowly making your way outside now and uh… don’t make any sudden moves.”

Kid: “But my… ?”

Me: *smiles* “Unless you want to go fetch it yourself, I’d suggest leaving it to me.”

(The kid then walked out of class like he was miming a burglar from an old black and white film. I then went up to the EA, who was so pissed at this point that she was spitting all over the place, pretended I had no clue who would do such a thing, snuck one of the fifty sheets, put the kid’s name on it, and slipped it into the middle of the pile. I’m pretty sure it was this incident that made me suddenly become this kid’s hero. And I can assure you this kid never clicked that print button more than once. In fact, I think he was afraid of the printer for a while.)

A Contest For The Ages

, , , , | Right | June 11, 2017

Customer: “Why do all your shirts say ‘Canada 1867’?”

Me: “Oh, that’s because it’s Canada’s 150th year.”

Customer: “Oh, wow. Hey, babe!” *calls to his pregnant wife and two young children* “It’s Canada’s 150th. Who knew?” *to me* “Guess that’s another thing the US beats you at!”

Punched Out And Ready For A Punch Up

, , , , , | Right | June 11, 2017

(I am working as a cashier supervisor at a large store. I’ve just clocked out since my coworker has taken over to do the closing shift. A cashier stops me as I’m about to leave the store, not in any uniform and clearly dressed in my winter outdoor clothing.)

Cashier: “Hey [My Name], [Coworker] is busy. Can you override this markdown on your way out?”

Me: “No problem.”

Customer: “I’d suggest you get here a little faster next time.”

Me: “I’d suggest you don’t take that tone with me. I barely get paid enough to give a f*** about you when I am on the clock. I certainly don’t care when I’m punched out.”

(The cashier high-fived me and I smirked and walked out the door.)

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