They Totally Mismanaged That

, , , , , , | Working | February 8, 2018

(There is a notice up in the back room for people to apply to a manager position. I am currently an associate, but I have been working at the company for a year while most other employees are brand new. I don’t want to become a manager, though, and the deadline passes with only new people applying. Two days past the deadline, the current manager pulls me aside.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], why didn’t you apply?”

Me: “Oh, I’m taking summer school and I’m worried about not being able to balance the two well.”

(She pulls me out for these talks for the next two days until she eventually convinces me I can do it. I submit my application, and two weeks later I get a phone call.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], we didn’t go with you for the manager position, but you can reapply in July.”

Me: “Oh, okay… Can I ask why? I mean, you asked me personally for two days to apply, so…”

Manager: “Well, we were worried you’d be so focused on school that you wouldn’t be able to give it your all at the store.”

Me: “Sure, that makes sense, but… I mean… when you asked me to apply, I told you I had summer school, yet you still asked me to apply.”

Manager: “Yeah, I guess I did… Oh, well, sorry about that.”

(I quit two months later because the new manager they hired who “had more time to focus on the store” ended up being a huge screw-up.)

Sofa, So Bad

, , , , | Right | February 8, 2018

(It is 2015. None of our upholstered furniture pieces have a factory warranty on the fabric or the stuffing for more than one year. I take a phone call in customer service.)

Customer: “Yes, I bought a sofa set from you people, and the cushions are starting to compress.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll just need your phone number to look up your account.”

(I pull up her info and flip through all her bills only to find a sofa set purchased in 2007, which we haven’t carried since 2009.)

Me: “Is this the set you purchased in 2007?”

Customer: “Yes. They actually started doing this about four years ago. My friend said I should call you about it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid your warranty expired in 2008.”

Customer: “Well, if I don’t get service on this, I guess I won’t be shopping through you ever again.”

(Yes. That absolutely makes sense. About as much sense as me calling Ford and demanding service cause my 1979 Lincoln leaks oil.)

Not Quite A Glass Act

, , , , , | Right | February 8, 2018

(At the store where I work, when we bag bottles of nail polish, we put them in smaller bags, separate from other items. A customer has purchased some items, and forgoes the bag for her items.)

Me: “Here, please at least let me put the nail polish in a separate bag.”

Customer: “Oh, no, thank you.”

Me: “Are you sure? They are glass.”

Customer: “Don’t worry; I’ve handled a lot of glass items in this bag before.”

(The customer drops the nail polish, and it smashes on the floor. We just stare at it for a second, and then look at each other.)

Customer: “Well… that was good timing.”

Locked Himself Out Of His Own Understanding

, , , , , | Right | February 7, 2018

(I work in a large complex. Two buildings are the hotel, where we sell rooms per night, but three buildings are for monthly rental, like apartments. In both cases, people check in at the hotel’s front desk. One day, an older man comes in wanting to visit a room to rent for the month. I make him a magnetic swipe key for one of the rooms so that he may go visit it. A good ten minutes later, he comes back, looking rather flustered.)

Guest: “There is no lock to put the key in!”

Me:  “What do you mean, there is no lock?”

Guest: “Just that: there is no lock in the door! There is one on the building door, which I swiped, and it worked, but on the room door there is nothing in the door to swipe the key.”

(I recall that our maintenance staff have been having issues with the locks lately, are waiting for new ones to be delivered, and have been taking locks from currently unavailable rooms and putting them on available ones so that those rooms may still be sold. I think perhaps they have taken the lock from this particular room and forgotten to alert the front desk. I apologize to the man and offer to let him visit another room, in the same building.)

Guest: “Well, is it going to work this time, or am I only going there for nothing again?”

Me: *thinking there is no way maintenance could have forgotten twice to block a room* “There should be no problem.”

(I make him a key and let him go, but he returns in less than two minutes and starts yelling at me.)

Guest: “What the f*** are you doing to me? Are you having fun with me?”

Me: “No, sir. What—”

Guest: “There is nowhere to put the key in that one, either! You take those two rooms off your list, now! Who’s your manager? I want to see him, now!”

(I explain that my manager is going to be here later tonight, and the man storms off, promising to come back. Puzzled by what the man seemed so adamant about, I call my houseman to check the two rooms to see what is going on. He comes back to me and says he got in, no problem, and that there is nothing wrong with the locks to the room. He doesn’t understand why the man said there wasn’t a lock. He stops to think one second and says:)

Houseman: “Well… it’s a different model of lock than the one on the building’s door.”

Me: “How so?”

Houseman: “Well, most of our locks are like the one on the building’s door, which requires the key card to be held at a perpendicular angle from the door, with only the magnetic stripe sliding through. The model on those rooms, though, is the one for which you have to hold the key flat against the door lock and slide the whole card down into the slit.”

(I instantly recalled what he was talking about, as I have naturally seen them myself, but I couldn’t believe anyone couldn’t figure out how to put the key in them. When I retold the story to my manager, when he came in, he laughed so hard he said it would be a pleasure to point the man’s lack of intelligence to him should he come back to see him. He never did, unfortunately.)

A Hair-Raising Time To Stay Awake

, , , , | Right | February 7, 2018

(I am a hairdresser. While I am fairly new to the industry, I am usually booked a week in advance as I specialize in fashion colour and blondes.)

Client: “Hi. Do you have any appointments available today?”

Me: “Unfortunately, I am fully booked until [late next week].”

Client: “What about tomorrow? At noon?”

Me: “My next availability is [late next week] at 9:00 am.”

Client: “That doesn’t work for me. Can I come after hours tonight?”

Me: “If you’d like an afternoon or after-hours appointment, my next one is [date two weeks from now].”

Client: “No, I’ll come tonight, thanks.”

Me: “Okay, I can squeeze you in at 2:00 am. Since it is so late, I will be charging 200% my usual rates.”

Client: “You are so rude!” *hangs up*

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