Unfiltered Story #107255

, , , | Unfiltered | March 13, 2018

About every month or so I go and get takeout from the same restaurant. My order is a bit complicated but I am always friendly and I have no problem waiting longer because of that. I have offered multiple times to pay for the extra sauces I ask for (an offer they have rejected every time because it apparently is not cooperate policy to charge for them).

Everyone always seems very happy to see me, except for this one manger. He will also constantly only half fill the small sauce containers I request. The last time, however, he filled my sauce almost the whole way and didn’t glare at me once, though he still didn’t smile. I think my friendliness might be growing on him, kind of like fungus!

Slick Parenting

, , , , | Right | March 12, 2018

(We sell a certain brand of collectible stuffed animals that are very popular with kids. It’s a very common occurrence to see kids asking their parents for these. A dad and his little girl come to the cash with one of the stuffed animals, and the girl is very excited.)

Me: “Good choice! He’s one of my favorites!”

Girl: “What’s his name?

(They come with names printed in the tags.)

Me: “Slick.”

Girl: “Slick. He’s so cute! Slick, Slick, Slick.” *matter of fact* “It’s a good thing we can use the credit card. You should always keep your credit card on you, in case you need it to buy things!”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “That’s… very good advice.”

Dad: “Especially when you have children.”

(I couldn’t stop laughing after that; they made my day!)

Absent-Mindedly Kidnapped

, , , | Learning | March 12, 2018

(I am a student at an adult learning centre, which is basically high school for adults. Unlike traditional high school, this school’s attendance policy is very strict, and one of my teachers is explaining this to the class.)

Teacher: “Here at [School], you are only allowed up to three absences without notice. If you miss more than three days without prior notice, you will be automatically withdrawn from my class. If you know you will be missing a class on a test day, you need to arrange an alternate test day with me.”

Me: “What if there are extenuating circumstances where I have to miss more than three days, including test dates, but I’m unable to give you any prior notice?”

Teacher: “In what circumstance could that ever be possible?”

Me: “Well, what if I got kidnapped? Even if my abductor gives me a phone call, I don’t think I would use it on school.”

Teacher: “Oh, that won’t be a problem. I’ll probably see you on the news, and I will accept that as notice.”

(It was foolish of me to challenge her wit. Many teachers handle bratty kids just fine, so a smart-mouthed adult is probably nothing in comparison.)

A Different Kind Of “F” Word

, , , , , , , | Learning | March 12, 2018

(I’m hanging out with my friends during lunch break, and two of them are bantering like typical teenage boys.)

Friend #1: “Dude, why are you being so gay right now?”

Friend #2: “You’re the one being a [gay slur], not me.”

Friend #1: “No! You’re gay!”

Friend #2: “You’re gay!”

Friend #1: “Homo!”

Friend #2: “[Gay slur]!”

(At this point, they’re being so loud that a teacher has overheard them and is walking towards us.)

Teacher: “Hey, guys, I’m not here to change your political views, but do you really have to be using that word?”

Friend #1: “Yeah! He’s a [gay slur]!”

Friend #2: “No! He’s the [gay slur]!”

Teacher: “There you go again with that word! Why are you calling each other ‘[gay slur]’? Why not just call each other ‘[racial slur]’ or something?”

Friend #1: “Whoa, not cool! What if a black person walks by when you say that?”

Teacher: “Exactly. What if a gay person walks by while you two are doing that?”

Friends #1 & #2: “Oh.”

(We learned a very powerful lesson that day.)

Unfiltered Story #106952

, , | Unfiltered | March 11, 2018

My friend and I are at a local coffee shop. We both just left school so we are wearing our backpacks, which are bulky and cumbersome. As my friend is walking past a table to leave her backpack catches a spice shaker and knocks it onto the floor. The shaker is small and doesn’t make much noise when it lands, that coupled with the background noise in the coffee shop causes her not to notice what happened.
She is already out the door, so I go to pick the shaker. Then this woman, who I have never seen before in my life, comes up to me ranting and raving about disrespectful teens and how we can’t just start destroying things and not picking up after ourselves. I point out that I am picking it up, that my friend knocked it over by accident, and that there is no harm done. This does not placate the rude woman. She then starts yelling at the barista that my friend and I are trying to destroy coffee shop property and should be banned. The barista, who was watching this whole insane situation takes my side and tells the woman she cannot harass other customers.
I leave the coffee shop and my friend asks me what delayed me. As I am explaining the rude woman comes out after me and starts screaming at my friend and I more. My friend’s dad pulls up in his car to drive us home; we hurry to the car as the woman is yelling incoherently behind us. He asks us what happened as the woman is literally banging on the car windows and yelling about how disrespectful and awful both my friend and I are. I’m shaken but I explain the best I can. My friend’s dad isn’t amused, he rolls down his window enough to roar at the woman to keep her hands off his car. She pales, shuts up, and back up. My friend’s dad then gets out of the car and marches into the coffee shop. A minute later him and barista appear, the barista starts talking to the rude woman who begins crying and storms off in the direction of the parking lot. My friend’s dad explains that the barista has banned the woman from the coffee shop.
About a week later I am walking home. I am passing a crosswalk that a man is crossing when a convertible comes out of nowhere and screeches to a halt right in front of the man, nearly hitting him. The driver then starts screaming at the man for being in the middle of the road, saying it would have been his fault if she had hit him, and so on. Lo and behold, it is the same rude woman from the coffee shop. The man she nearly hit just flips her off and walks away. The rude woman turns towards me for support, saying that you just can’t reason with some people.
I tell her I agree completely and that I see she’s just as unreasonable and crazy wherever she goes. Her face first goes blank, then bright red as she recognizes me. She steps on the gas pedal and swerves off, tires screeching, towards a street corner that a cop usually stays by with a radar gun, waiting to catch people speeding. I walked away cackling as she was screaming at the police officer for pulling her over.

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