Celebrating Another Saviour At Christmas

, , , , , , , | Related | December 21, 2017

(It is Christmas time. I am visiting home from university, and my sister and I are trying to do as much Christmas shopping as we can in the limited time we have. Since I attend school 18 hours away, I’m not on my parents insurance, but my sister is. Our parents agree to let us borrow the car if we promise to pick my dad up from his work later in the afternoon. As a result, we do a lot of shopping close to where my dad works. During this trip, I am annoying my sister, unintentionally, by forgetting to lock the door. I am used to a friend’s car at my school, where, if you lock her door manually, it throws off the automatic system. We get to our last stop and I FINALLY remember to lock my door. I even make a big show of waving my hands at her and pointing at the locked door. She smiles, gives me a thumbs up, grabs her purse, and closes the door. As we go to walk away, I notice something is off.)

Me: “Is… Is the car running?”

Sister: “I just locked the keys inside the car.”

(We both just look at each other in disbelief over what happened THE ONE TIME forgetting to lock the door would’ve been helpful. We look around, hoping that maybe there is another way in, but alas, no. So, my sister has to call my dad.)

Sister: “Hi, Dad. Sorry to bother you, but I am at [Store] and I accidentally locked the keys in the car.”

Dad: *taking it surprisingly well* “Oh, that’s fine; I actually have the spare key with me.”

Sister: *relieved* “Really?”

Dad: “Yeah, so, I can get a ride down and come help you out when I finish at three.”

(This would’ve been great if it was close to 3 pm, but it was 1 pm.)

Sister: “Yeah, here’s the thing: it’s kind of on.”

Dad: *pause* “It’s what?

Sister: “The car is sort of running.”

Dad: *slowly* “So, you’re telling me that you locked the keys in the car, with the car running?”

Sister: “Yeah.”

(My dad sighed and said he would get his colleague to drive down with the key and help us out. Since we had already messed up by locking the keys in the car, we didn’t want our car to get stolen if we left it. So, even though it was winter in Canada, and therefore freezing, we waited outside for our saviour. To keep warm, we invented a jig, which we named after the colleague, and danced to it. The lyrics were basically repeating his name over and over, occasionally adding in his nickname. He did come and save us, so we bought him chocolates and a thank-you card for our dad to give him the next day.)

Unfiltered Story #102098

| Unfiltered | December 21, 2017

Every Saturday before work I would stop by a small local coffee shop, and pick up my regular customized drink. They sell them for a reasonable price. One morning I came in and there was a new employee working behind the cash register.

Me: “Hey can I get dark roast Hazelnut coffee, but one shot of caramel?”

New cashier: “One Caramel latte and a hazelnut latte, both with caramel?”

Me: “Nope, just one dark roast hazelnut coffee with one caramel shot”

I assume it is becuase he is new and just learning, so I remain calm.

New cashier: “No caramel latte with no caramel. But one dark roast caramel with the hazelnut shot?”

Me: “Almost, but it’s one dark roast haleznut coffee with a caramel shot.”

New cashier: “Hey can I get a DARK ROAST HAZELNUT COFFEE WITH ONE CARAMEL SHOT!”

The barista making the coffee yells back to the new cashier, “You got it!”

New cashier: “Can you please confirm you heard me right!”

Barista: “One dark roast hazelnut coffee with one caramel shot.”

New cashier: “Okay perfect one dark hazelnut coffee with one caramel shot is being made, -looks at me- is this correct?”

At this point I’m almost ready to loose it and start laughing.

Me: “Yes I’ll pay with debit.”

New cashier: “Cash or credit?”

Me: “Debit…”

New cashier: “Okay you’d like to pay for your dark roast hazelnut coffee with one caramel shot with debit??”

Me: “Yes.”

I looked over the barista and we were both laughing. Unfortunately this happened everytime I went to get coffee but it did crack me up every time.

You’re Never Too Old For Santa Claus

, , , , | Related | December 20, 2017

(I’m visiting home from university and I’m trying to put Christmas gifts together. I have the idea for my sister and me to get a picture with Santa, frame it, and give it to my mom for Christmas. I scope out a local mall. My sister says she’ll do it but gives me a hard time leading up to it.)

Sister: “You want to go early on a Sunday?”

Me: “Well, that’s the only time we can do it, based on your work schedule.”

Sister: “Argh, fine, but it’s going to be super busy.”

Me: “Well, it’s a smaller mall and we’re going early. Maybe it won’t be that bad.”

Sister: “Okay, but if it’s really busy we’re not doing it.”

Me: “Okay, that’s fine.”

(She keeps saying this up to the day we go, and I just chalk it up to her being annoyed by the potential busy crowds. We get to the mall and walk to where pictures with Santa take place, and there is absolutely no one there.)

Me: “Oh, yay! This is perfect. Let’s go!”

(I then turned to my sister and noticed she was turning beet red. It never once occurred to me that my sister was embarrassed by this idea, and she was trying to play it off like she was just annoyed. I managed to get her to pose with Santa, red-faced and all, and my mom LOVED it. She still sets out the picture every Christmas, and my sister never lets me live it down.)

A Different Kind Of Lightbulb Moment

, , , | Working | December 20, 2017

(It’s the first of December and we’re decorating. A coworker helps me untangle a string of lights and I plug them in.)

Coworker: “Looks like you’ve got a short; some of the colors aren’t working. Let me take a look. I know a lot about these you know.”

Me: “Do you smell burning?”

Coworker: *not paying attention* “That’s too bad. I think I found the problem. Hang on, let me pull this bulb. You know, these things are bad for overheating.”

Me: “Oh, here. This bulb is on fire.”

Coworker: “Wait, what?!” *sees the bulb I’m holding, drops the lights, and bolts out of my cubicle*

(I calmly unplugged the lights and blew out the flame. I wish I could say this was the first fire I’d dealt with at work, but it was definitely the smallest. Hardly worth fleeing in terror over.)

Gotta Marry Them All

, , , , , | Learning | December 20, 2017

(I am a teacher, and I go by “Miss” since I’m not married. One of my students realizes that “Miss” means I’m not married and gives me this advice.)

Student: “Miss [My Name], you should just get married.”

Me: “Okay, [Student]. I’ll get on that.”

Student: “Good! Also, when you walk down the aisle, you should have the Pokémon theme song playing!”

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