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Burned

, , , , , | Right | July 30, 2008

(I’m a high ropes instructor and work with kids in the forest. There are “No Smoking” signs posted all over the place, but I see a woman smoking right next to a sign.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry. There’s no smoking in this area.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Because it could start a fire.”

Customer: *snottily* “Well, I’ll make sure not to do that.”

Me: “Ma’am, you still can’t smoke in this area. There are children everywhere… the smoke’s not good for them.”

Customer: “Well, they’re my children, so it’s really my decision to make, isn’t it?”

Me: “Actually, as this is our property, it’s our decision. Please take your disgusting habit elsewhere.”

Customer: “Your FACE is disgusting.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, as soon as my face starts causing cancer, you can complain.”


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He Wants What He Wants

, , | Right | July 28, 2008

Camper: “Can I get a root beer float?”

Me: “No, you can only order a single scoop cup or cone.”

Camper: “So I can get one?”

Me: “You can get a single scoop ice cream, cup, or cone.”

Camper: “So can I get a root beer float?”

Me: “You can get a cup or cone, single scoop or ice cream. That’s what you can get. Got it?”

Camper: *nods*

Me: “So what are you getting?”

Camper: “A root beer float.”

Me: “Are you seriously not getting this?”

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The Early Bird Counts Its Chickens In The Bush

, , , , , , | Working | June 13, 2008

(My boss spent thirty-five years in the Army, and it shows. He is famous for quoting motivational posters.)

Boss: *to camper* “I understand your concern, ma’am, but sometimes you have to crawl before you can walk.”

Camper: “I just wanted to transfer campsites.”

Boss: “Understood. But sometimes it takes a village, right?”

Camper: *to me* “Can I speak with someone who isn’t on crack?”

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