An Offline Request

, | KY, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I work in a call center for a major phone carrier.)

Caller: “We’re supposed to have our service activated today, but we have no service.”

Me: “All right, let me go ahead and see what I can find out for you.” *accesses customer’s account, notices a vital network cable is being replaced and has no estimated time of completion* “Well, there is a local outage in your area, as there is an area cable that needs to be replaced, and they have to specially order the cable.”

Caller: “Well, we open tomorrow. Is there any way you can run a temporary line for us? We need a way to run credit cards and keep customers entertained while they wait.”

Me: “Unfortunately, the cable that provides service to your area is being replaced, and they have to order it.”

Caller: “Well, can’t you just use the box on the back of the building?”

(I goes on like this for a few minutes: the customer asking for a temporary line, or using the box on the back of their building; me reiterating that the network cable was needing replacing. Eventually, I have to pull this line out of my sleeve:)

Me: “What I can do, if you’d like, is set up a time to call you back, and update you on the situation?”

Caller: “I don’t see why you can’t just run a temporary line to the box on the back of the building…”

Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 10

| UK | Transportation

(The call centre I work at does quotes for car insurance, and like most companies we have additional products, such as Motor Legal Protection, Breakdown Cover, Keycare, etc. The company has a strict policy that we aren’t to push these products, just offer them and that’s it; if the customer doesn’t want it, they just don’t want it. However, we are required by our regulators that we have to mention them, and inform the customer exactly what they cover so they aren’t misinformed; it also makes it easier to debunk any claims that the customer may make about “But they didn’t tell me about that specific thing when I signed up!” or anything like that.)

Me: “So now I’ll just be going through some information on our additional products…”

Customer: “I don’t want any of the additional products; I just want the basic insurance.”

Me: “That’s fair enough, sir, but I’m still required to give you the information in case you change your mind and want to add them later.”

Customer: “I won’t change my mind! Just let me pay. I don’t care about the other stuff. Stop trying to sell it to me!”

Me: “Sir, like I said, I understand, but regardless of whether you want them today I’m still required to quickly tell you about them so you are right informed. This policy is enforced by our industry regulators, and the company could be fined if I didn’t, and I would be marked badly on this call.”

Customer: “Ugh, fine, but hurry up!”

Me: *gives info on products*

Customer: “Actually that Keycare sounds like something I might need…”

Me: *while mentally face-palming* “Well, I can add that on for you for [price], if you’d like?”

Related:
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 9
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 8
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 7

You’re My Hero-in

, | CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Criminal & Illegal

(I used to do overnight cell phone tech support for a major provider. As I worked on the prepaid side, we tended to get weird or unreasonable customers on a consistent basis, especially late at night. The customer I’ve been working with in this story, however, has been completely calm and reasonable throughout our call. Also note that I have only heard him during the entire call, nobody else.)

Me: “Well, if there’s nothing else I can do to assist you tonight I just want to thank you for being the best part of [Company]. Again, my name is [My Name] and I hope you have a great rest of your night!”

Customer: “Thanks, you too! Good night.”

(At this point the line goes quiet but is still connected. Assuming he either thinks he hung up or is waiting for me to do so, I reach for the release button.)

Customer: “WHAT THE F*** WERE YOU THINKING?!”

(I jump, but realize that he’s not talking to me. For the first time I hear someone muttering to him in the background.)

Customer: “Why the f*** did you think it was a good idea to say ‘heroin’ while I was on a call? What the f*** are you going to do if I go back to jail, huh?!”

(At that point I released the call, hoping the customer didn’t realize we were still connected and the only person I heard talking about illegal narcotics was him.)

The Solution Is Not The Solution

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Customer: “My phone got some contact solution on it and the touch screen quit working.”

Me: “Oh, no, that’s no good. Does the phone still power on?”

Customer: “Yes, it still turns on and gets calls and texts but I can’t answer them.”

Me: “Okay, well, you can try putting the device in a bag of rice for a day or so and that may pull the moisture out of the phone.”

Customer: “I’ve had it in rice for a couple hours already and seems to have helped already but I was reading online that I can clean the contact solution out with fresh water or by taking the phone apart and trying the parts off.”

Me: ” I wouldn’t advise either of those things.”

Customer: “Oh… I already started pulling the phone apart…”

Me: *face palm*

Got To Give Him Credit For Trying, Part 3

, | Boise, ID, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(I work at a call center for a bank that finances credit cards for several companies: anything from jewelry to gasoline. We handle both consumer and business cards. The craziest call I ever get is from a business account for office supplies.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]; my name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, my name is [Customer] and I am authorized by [Accounts Payable] to pay $140.”

(I verify them as authorized on the account. The balance is over $800.)

Me: “I can certainly run that payment for you, but that amount will not postpone further collections activity. The balance is [amount #1] and is five months past due. We need a payment of [amount #2] to prevent the account going to third party collections.”

Customer: “I don’t think you understand; I will only pay you $140. If I make this payment, you have to forgive the rest of the debt. I WILL NOT pay you any more, and you WILL NOT charge me any more late fees.”

Me: “I can’t do that. This is a balance that has been accrued on this credit card. It needs to be paid in full or at least paid on time to prevent further fees.”

(Customer ranted on and on about how it wasn’t fair of us to charge him and that he would speak with accounts payable. Then he hung up.)

Related:
Got To Give Him Credit For Trying, Part 2
Got To Give Him Credit For Trying

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