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Your Terms And Conditions Have Been Sentenced

| Canada | Crazy Requests, Language & Words

(A customer calls in to cancel a plan. He’s mentioned that one of the reasons why he wants to cancel is because the terms and conditions are too small and “long” when he prints them out. Note that it’s two standard pages when you print it out, and it does depend on which program you print it from. Usually, we don’t have many problems with this, but some customers will call to get a large-type copy, which we mention in our emails and on the terms and conditions as well. This happens when I’m closing my call.)

Me: “Well, I’m sorry to hear that sir, but if it reassures you, we do offer a large type copy can send by snail mail. And I’ve used my personal printer to—”

Caller: “No, that’s just no good. It’s too long. You should tell them to make it twenty words, or two sentences. Thank you, but no. Good bye.

Me: *after he hung up* “Yes, and if you have any questions about your plan, please defer to the vague two sentences and feel free to sue us for ambiguity.”

Coworker: “Did he really just ask you to make the plan 20 words long? He’s aware we have a legal team, right?”

Me: “Wonder what he’d do if he wanted to know what WASN’T covered…”

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2nd Floor, Ward B, To Be Specific…

| UK | Extra Stupid

Me: “Could I take your name?”

Customer: “It’s [Name].”

Me: “And your date of birth?”

Customer: “That’s [date].”

Me: “And could I take your place of birth?”

Customer: “…The hospital?”

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Email Fail, Part 7

| TN, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am trying to help a customer return a clothing item while using the pre-paid return label.)

Customer: “Can you send the return label to my desktop and not my laptop?”

Me: “Okay, what’s the email you would like me to use to send the label?”

Customer: “The one for my desktop.”

Me: “Well, our records don’t indicate which one that is. Can you tell me the address?”

Customer: “It’s [email address]. Make sure you put in the information line desktop so the desktop knows the email is for it.”

Me: “Okay, I just sent it.”

Customer: “You sent it to my laptop.”

Me: “Can you not access that email for both computers?”

Customer: “Why does everyone always ask me that?”

Me: *sighs*

Related:
Email Fail, Part 6
Email Fail, Part 5
Email Fail, Part 4