Can Make Your Head Swim

| Stevens Point, WI, USA | Right | September 15, 2014

(At the call center I work at we get weird calls from people testing out the service all the time. Some include random trivia questions, about random subjects. We have to answer all questions seriously and try to get sources if we can.)

Me: “Thank you for contacting [Company] Concierge. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Hi, I have a question.”

(At this point I see he is calling in from Texas.)

Me: “Certainly, I’ll do my best to answer any question you may have.”

Customer: “Well, this is a serious question. Are you sure?”

Me: “Anything at all. No need to be shy. What’s the question?”

Customer: “Well… um… can deer swim?”

Me: “Let me check for you, sir… Well, sir, I found a YouTube video of a deer swimming, and I’m watching it right now. So, yes. Deer can swim.”

Customer: “For real?”

Me: “Yes, sir, deer can swim.”

Customer: “I just don’t believe it. I need to see it myself. Can you send me a link to that video?”

Me: “Yes, sir. It will just take a second as I send that.”

Customer: *slightly muffled* “Honey, sounds like deer can swim. I know. I can’t believe it.”

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When New Hires Become New Fires

| Greenville, SC, USA | Working | September 9, 2014

(We have a group of new hires coming into our call center who are a bit overdressed for the positions they have been hired for. I have been at this job for two years, and am at work wearing a shirt and jeans, sneakers, etc. I run into two of the new hires in the break room.)

New Hire #1: “Man, would you look at that.” *points towards me as I make coffee*

New Hire #2: “Yeah, what the h***, man? How’d he even get an interview?”

(I realize that they think I am a new hire like them, and finish making my coffee while they speak about me like I’m not here.)

Me: *turning to them* “I got my interview three years ago, and I blew them out of the water. Good luck making your 90 days with an attitude like that.”

(I walked past them, coffee in hand. I didn’t expect either one to last longer than a month.)

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The Bitter Taste Of The Law

, , | USA | Right | September 5, 2014

(I work in the call center for a national fast food restaurant. We don’t accept ideas about new or modified products from guests, and we especially don’t pay for them. Any time a guest starts to give a suggestion, we have to read them a legal statement to that effect.)

Caller: “I wanted to tell you that I love your turkey burgers, but I really think you should start serving them on gluten-free—”

Me: *interrupting* “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I do have something I need to read you real quickly.”

(I then read the legal statement stating that we can’t accept her idea, and won’t pay for it.)

Caller: *long pause* “Well, I don’t know what that means, but it doesn’t sound very nice, so I’m going to hang up on you.”

(And she did!)

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Crazy Is Flowering

, | NJ, USA | Right | September 5, 2014

(I work in a flower delivery company call center, in customer service. We take orders and send them out to local floral shops all over the country. I’m working in ‘order modification.’)

Me: “Thank you for calling. This is [My Name] speaking. Can I start by getting your name?”

Customer: “My name? Why do you need that?”

Me: “I need to identify who is calling and how to address you, but that’s okay. Can I have your recipient’s name?”

Customer:Recipipant? What’s a recipipant?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, the RECIPIENT is who is getting the flowers. May I have their name?”

Customer: “Well… I don’t know what a recipient is but the delivery getter’s name is [Recipient]. I need you to change my order. I need you to change my name to spell it the correct way.”

Me: “Ma’am, I was able to find your order by the recipient’s name. I can change your spelling of your name for you. Can you tell me the correct spelling?”

Customer: “No. I will not tell you. You have no right to ask me things this personal. You can fix it yourself. Goodbye.” *hangs up*

Supervisor: “I didn’t know you were so intrusive and psychic. How do you get all the crazies?”

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You Have To Question Their Reasons

| MI, USA | Right | September 3, 2014

(I work in a call center taking calls from subscribers to our web-based program.)

Subscriber: “Hi. I was told to call.”

Me: *thinking that he got an email or a voice mail* “Was the message from anyone in particular?”

Subscriber: “It’s on the invoice. It told me to call.”

(I pull up his account but there aren’t any notes from our administration/billing department or any other representatives, so I’m a little confused by this.)

Me: “You received a note on your invoice to call us?”

Subscriber: “Yes. It said to call if I had any questions.”

Me: “And do you have any questions?”

Subscriber: “No.”

Me: “Okay, then… Have a great day!”

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